Drinks All Round!
by x.BiLlAbOnG.x
Summary: SEQUEL TO ERMMM SAVVY? ... "I wouldn't mess with her kid..."
1. IT'S RK!, Book Attack, AWW CRAP!

**DRINKS ALL ROUND!!!  
  
It's here people!!! The sequel to ' Ermmmm Savvy?'  
  
Ok... erm... not much to say except... IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE FIRST ONE... YOU WILL BE COMPLETELY LOST... Unless you wanted to be... then by all means carry on!  
  
Disclaimer:---** **Oh no... not more disclaimers... .x.shakes fist at disclaimer.x. ... Well... hold on we're missing something here aren't we? ... OH YEA!... .x.Pulls piece of rope.x. Will! The kitty!!... leave it!!! .x.Bats Will with rolled up newspaper.x. ... Naughty boy!!! Go to my room!!! ....  
  
Ok... I own the plot, all my characters, Will clone... .x.Checks he's going up the stairs.x. , Oh yea!!! THERE'S A NEW CHARACTER!!!... Fancies Will... but he's MINE!!!  
  
I don't own PotC... you're just making me say this to make me feel poor.... Ah well!!  
**

**IT'S RK!!, book attack!, AWWW CRAP!!  
  
.x. Rach's PoV .x.  
****   
  
**"Please shut up!!"  
  
"Jeeeeez! Chill!!"  
  
Well here we are... in class... we've been back for about 4 months... this is the last day of term, then we get Christmas of... Wooo!... but we've still got the rest of the day!  
  
Rk's constantly getting in trouble... nothing new there. And Jess is asleep on the desk in front of me... should I be shocked?  
  
She's been caught chewing more times then I care to count and has had at least 30 detentions. Now she's about to get another one with the little substitute teacher we've got now... Bless him, he keeps looking at her and glaring... But she's ignoring him, as always. She's too busy telling the girl next to her about our time in the jail cell...  
  
"So... then I told the policeman..."  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!"  
  
Rk glared him and then turned back to the girl  
  
"So... Anyway..."  
  
The sub ran around the desk grabbing the register and walked up to Rk's desk  
  
"R-RACHEL KATIE TALBOT SHUT UP!!!"  
  
Everyone in the class froze and looked at Rk, I sat up wide-eyed... uh oh.  
  
Rk got up from her desk  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
The sub looked at the register then stuttered...  
  
"R-R-R-Rachel K-K-K-K-K-K-K"  
  
"I thought so..."  
  
She walked up to the sub... Who backed away behind the desk.  
  
She followed him and put her hands on either side of the desk  
  
"Look, since you're a sub I'll let you off... but my name is Rk, Rk... R...K!!!"  
  
"W-Well it says on here..."  
  
He held the register up  
  
"Hold on..."  
  
Rk took it  
  
"Hmm... they usually put Rk.... Rach?"  
  
I looked up and nodded  
  
"Chuck us a red pen..."  
  
I threw the pen across the class... everyone was now watching Rk intently... and what she was going to do to the cowering sub.  
  
She crossed it out and wrote something  
  
"Here you go!"  
  
"Half an hour detention!!"  
  
Rk turned  
  
"What?"  
  
"H-Half an hour detention for vandalising school property!"  
  
"The rules even say it!!!"  
  
She pointed above the board to our class rules, which had on the bottom in bold red... '**IT'S RK! NOT R.K.T!!'  
**  
"AN HOUR!!"  
  
"WHAT FOR?! PONITING OUT THE OBVIOUS?!"  
  
"Hour and a half!"  
  
"STOP IT!!"  
  
Rk slammed her hands on the desk... we all grabbed our books... last time she slammed something she grabbed people's books and threw them at the teacher... that was yesterday.  
  
**.x.BRING BRING.x. (A:N: No! It is not a phone!)  
**  
We grabbed our things and headed towards the door... I knocked Jess awake.  
  
I mouthed to Rk we'd meet her by the lockers, she nodded and turned back to the sub  
  
"WHAT YOU MEAN 3 HOURS?!"  
  
Jess and I walked over to the lockers. I went to mine... well it was mine, until Jess and Rk lost the keys for theirs, so we now share.  
  
I opened it and I was hit by an avalanche of books and hundreds of papers... Rk's 'lost' homework.  
  
I tried to catch it and shove it back in  
  
"Don't try and help Jess!"  
  
"Ok!"  
  
She leaned onto a locker some poor kid was trying to get in.  
  
Chris and Will (Yes Will is in school!) walked over to us.  
  
I was now pushing on the door to keep it shut... Will kissed my cheek and laughed  
  
"Move, I'll do it"  
  
"Be my guest"  
  
I moved aside and let the mountain of paper and books fall out... along with a mouldy sandwich  
  
Will, Chris and I tried to grab it all... Chris chucked the sandwich aside and screwed his face up  
  
"Ew... who's is all this?"  
  
"Your fiancé's!" **(A:N: I couldn't let them not could I?)  
**  
We shoved the stuff in again and managed to close it... but there were no room for my books...  
  
"Er, hold these Will"  
  
He just shook his head and put them in his bag  
  
"Where is Rk anyway?"  
  
"We had a sub, he called her Rachel"  
  
"Oh.. Did she throw books?"  
  
"No, not this time"  
  
"Can you believe that guy?!"  
  
"She's here"  
  
"6 HOURS! 6 BLOODY HOURS!!"  
  
She waved the detention letter  
  
"You doing it?"  
  
"PFFT! Yea right! I got a note!"  
  
I shook my head... Rk and faking notes do not go  
  
"Who's died this time?"  
  
"Granddad"  
  
"5th or 6th?"  
  
"7th, twice removed"  
  
Rk screwed up the detention letter and chucked it at a smaller kids head... then stuck her tongue out at him when he glared her.  
  
"Will you please move!"  
  
We looked at Jess who was leaning on the kid's locker... with him desperately trying to get in  
  
Rk stepped forward  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't mess with her..."  
  
"W-Why?"  
  
"Haven't you heard the things being said?"  
  
He quickly shook his head  
  
"Oh, well... you don't want to mess with her... I'll tell you that!"  
  
"W-Why not?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
Rk put on a low voice  
  
"Once, this other kid tried to get in his locker and Jess was leaning on it. He wouldn't leave her alone, you know, telling her to move and stuff..."  
  
He nodded; I shook my head knowing what she was going to say...  
  
"...Well, you know the boiler room, down under the school?... well have you ever wondered why it smells so bad down there... you know, like death?... and, have you ever heard noises?..."  
  
He shook his head again and moved back  
  
"If you listen hard enough in class you will, Listen next time... for noises like some one's in So... Much... Pain... that they're just about to die from it"  
  
The kid was now shaking... Rk leaned closer to his now pale face  
  
"BOO!!"  
  
He dropped his books and tore screaming down the hall.  
  
I sighed  
  
"Done scaring little kids now Rk?"  
  
She smirked  
  
"Well can we go to lunch?... you know one of these days, some ones going to tell everyone that and Jess will be know as the 'Kiddie Boiler'!"  
  
She laughed  
  
"Well at least she'll be allowed to lean on anyone's locker! They'll be offering theirs!!"  
  
We walked own the hall Rk, tripping up people.**.x. Rk's PoV .x.  
**Rach stopped  
  
"Oh! Er, Rk me and Will have got to go study for something... er... yea... BYE!"  
  
She and Will walked... well ran off.**.x. In Lesson... BORING! .x.  
**  
Tum.. de... dum...  
  
"Ok guys, answer you're names!"  
  
A ha! I always answer for EVERYONE!... Hey! It's tradition!  
  
"Jess?"  
  
"Asleep"  
  
"Rk?"  
  
"Waving!"  
  
"Chris?"  
  
"Not listening"  
  
"Rachael?"  
  
"Bike sheds"  
  
"Will?"  
  
"With her!"  
  
"AGAIN?!"  
  
"YEP!"  
  
Just then... on cue! Rach and Will burst in muttering excuses... Rach turned her skirt the right way round and Will put his hair back into a pony.  
  
I couldn't help it... so I burst out laughing  
  
Well... the rest of the lesson was... BORING!... except Will went to pass a note to Rach, which the teacher read... She turned red and kept winking at Will every so often...  
  
I looked up at the clock... :o 3 minutes until I'm free!! .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... 2!! ... ... ... ... ... .... .... .... .... ...1!!!...... .... ... ... .... .... .... ... WHAT THE HELL?! 3?! ...  
  
"THAT CLOCKS SHIT!"  
  
**.x.Bell.x.  
  
**"RK!! STAY BEHIND!"  
  
"AWW CRAP!!!"**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Hope you like the 1st instalment! There's way more humour and LOADS of weird and weirdly scary things to come! Trust me... I'm a doctor!  
  
Lolz.  
  
Buh bi!!  
  
REVIEW!!!!  
  
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **


	2. New flate mates, Sweet Cheeks!, COUGH!

**Wooo! I'm back!  
**  
**PinkRoseB:---** Lol, I couldn't wait to update... and plus it was either that or chores... didn't need to be asked twice! We have a really pervvy teacher in our science class**... .x.Shudders.x. ...** Lolz, glad you liked the first chapter!... CHOOKIES!!  
  
**LadyGlory:---** lolz. :O it's almost ready?! .... round shoving things into carrier bag.x. ... hmm... Will? Can you fit into this?... Ah well... .**x.Pulls on lead.x.** You can walk!  
  
**Zeldagr1436:---** Lol! You'll have to wait and see...  
  
**Meg:---** Lol, I still think it makes me sound slutty... ah well... like you said, I can't believe I'm complaining! I LOVE TIC TAC TOE! .... EVEN THOUGH YOU STOLE MY STRATEGY!!... lol. I'll just use my... 'fine! If I cant win neither can you!' one!!  
  
**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:---** Lol. I liked that part as well... I'm sad though I read through it and still laugh...  
  
**Empathy Is Me:---** Lol glad you liked it!!  
  
**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- **Lol... you were hoping for that too?! That makes two of us!! Lolz.  
  
**Disclaimer:---** I DON'T POTC!!!... Nope still don't, can you believe it?! I still say I should own them... I'll look after them and feed them... right Will Clone?... **.x.Whimper.x. **... Ignore him, he still thinks the people from the TV are going to come out the screen and get him... Yea... I own the plot.. Rk, Chris, Chris' flat!, Jess, ME!, The new character! And still MEG!!!

**New flat mates, Sweet cheeks!, COUGH!!  
  
.x. Rach's PoV .x.  
**  
"How can you loose the key for your own flat?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
After Rk had 'charmed' her way out of 6 hours detention. We headed over to Rk and Chris' flat, somehow Chris had managed to loose his key... which was attached to his car keys, but he still has them!  
  
He shrugged  
  
"Doesn't matter... Lee's in!"  
  
Lee... He's Chris' friend and lives in the flat with Rk and Chris... He likes to act gay... even though he isn't.  
  
He also decided he didn't like our own names, so gave us new ones...  
  
Chris- Spikey... Because of his spikey hair  
  
Rk- Huggy Bear... No idea why...  
  
Jess- Blondie... You can guess right?  
  
Me- Spanky... don't even ask...  
  
And poor Will is teased constantly... Lee pretends to fancy him and has decided to call him Sweet Cheeks... Lee caught a glimpse of Will butt when he got out of the shower.  
  
"Lee?!... Oh God no!"  
  
Rk laughed  
  
"Chill Sweet Cheeks!!"  
  
Will death glared her and she quickly opened the door  
  
Rk ran over to Lee  
  
"Hi!!"  
  
She hugged him. He looked at me  
  
"Oh! Spanky! Haven't seen you in ages!!"  
  
I smiled and hugged him 

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.  
**  
Rach ran over and hugged Lee... the look on Will face was priceless... I had to stir...  
  
I walked over to Will, stood beside him and whispered  
  
"Jealous"  
  
"Jack lover"  
  
We glared each other...  
  
"I don't love Jack!"  
  
"Well I'm not jealous!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
We sat down on the sofa behind us, Rach came over and sat on Will's lap  
  
"Hey guys! You two ok?"  
  
"Yep"  
  
She nodded then looked across the room to Chris and Lee...  
  
"Ok then, I'm going to talk to Lee... ok"  
  
Will put his arms around her stomach...  
  
"Er, Will, I can't go over there if you won't let go!"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"Will, you're hurting!"  
  
Lee came over...  
  
"Hey guys!, er, Spanky, you're face is turning blue... and I so clashed with your top hun!"  
  
"...Will... Too... Tight!!"  
  
Lee pulled on Rach's hands  
  
"OW!!"  
  
"Oh, come on Sweet Cheeks let go of her and let me see that nice piece of ass!!"  
  
Will stood up at lightening speed... still holding Rach. He stood over Lee and glared him.  
  
Lee backed away...  
  
"I'm going to go over there..."  
  
"Will! Stop it! And put me down!!"  
  
He placed Rach down  
  
She walked off and he sat back down beside me  
  
"Yea... You're so NOT jealous at all!!"  
  
He folded his arms  
  
"Where's Jess guys?"  
  
Rach looked around the room, Chris sighed  
  
"Oh God... I hope she's not in my closet again! She latched onto me when I opened the door!"  
  
I laughed  
  
"What do you expect?! She'd been in there for 6 hours!"  
  
"Well why didn't she just come out?!"  
  
"She couldn't... She's like one of those dogs that have to come out forwards... She couldn't turn around!"  
  
"But she latched onto my boxers!... Oh... Er..."  
  
I stood up  
  
"She saw you in you're boxers?!"  
  
"...No..."  
  
"You're a bad liar, Chris"  
  
"I know"  
  
**.x.GIRLY HIGH PITCHED SCREAM!.x.  
  
**"What Will?!"  
  
"THAT WASN'T ME!!"  
  
Lee came bursting out of mine and Chris' room... With Jess attached to his leg  
  
"GET HER OFF!!! THIS IS NOT A FASHIONABLE ACCESSORY!!"  
  
I walked over to Lee and bent down to Jess' level  
  
"Hang on this always works... Ahem..."  
  
I looked Jess in the eye  
  
"LET GO... LET GOOOO!"  
  
She shook her head  
  
"NU HUH!!"  
  
I stood up  
  
"Well it used to"  
  
Chris looked over  
  
"I pried her off using a bed... look I'll show you..."  
  
Chris walked into the bedroom... Lee hobbling after him.  
  
I jumped onto a chair and put the TV on, when out of the corner of my eye... I see everything... Will lean over and whisper something to Rach  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yea... well... I..."  
  
"Ok, urm... Rk... See you later... Will wants to... well... he..."  
  
"Yea, I know... he's a horny lil' pirate"  
  
"I WAS NOT a pirate!"  
  
I looked at him and smirked  
  
"Either that or Sweet Cheeks"  
  
"Pirate's fine"  
  
He stood up  
  
"Come on Rach"  
  
"Hold on I need to say goodbye to the others"  
  
"Do you have to?!"  
  
"Yes! I need to see if Jess has loosened her grip yet!"  
  
Rach walked over into the bedroom and shut the door... I turned back to the TV and Will sat back down

**COUGH!**

I glanced at Will, then back to the TV

**COUGH!**

I turned the volume up

**COUGH!**

I slammed my hand down on the arm of the chair and turned the volume up again

**COUGH!**

My eye twitched... I'm not going to snap... I'm not going to snap...

**COUGH!!**

"WILL!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!! I'M TRYING TO WATCH THIS!!"  
  
"I can't help it!!"  
  
"WHY?! Has Rach left her tongue in there or something?!"  
  
"... NO!"  
  
"Get a drink then!!"  
  
"It won't help!... it's something else that happens... when I ... Well, you know..."  
  
He fidgeted... I raised an eyebrow... He pulled his jacket tighter round him... what?... is it... I looked down...  
  
"EWW! EWW!!"  
  
I closed my eyes, dropped the remote and put my hands over my face  
  
"RACH?! GET OUT HERE NOW!!! TAKE WILL BEFORE HE PASSES OUT FROM EXCITEMENT!!"  
  
I heard the guys in the bedroom laughing... I moved one hand and opened a eye... Will was bright red  
  
"OR DIES FROM EMBARRASSMENT!!!!"  
  
"OK! I'm coming!! I'm coming!!"  
  
I covered my face again  
  
"DON'T SAY THAT PLEASE!!!"  
  
I moved one hand again... Will jumped up and opened the door, Rach came over  
  
"See you later Rk"  
  
"Be back in half and hour for the fitting things..."  
  
"You mean the Christmas prom fittings?... What you mean half an hour! God give us some time Rk!!"  
  
"WHAT YOU NEED MORE TIME FOR?! HE'S ALREADY HALF WAY THERE... LOOK AT HIM!!"  
  
Will glared me and pulled Rach towards the door  
  
"Fine!"  
  
"RACH! COME ON!!"  
  
Will dragged her out of the flat and slammed the door  
  
Eww... I never want to experience that again!  
  
I stood up and headed towards the bedroom... I opened the door and was greeted with an even worse sight...  
  
Lee lying on his back on the bed, Jess facing Lee still attached to his leg and Chris facing Jess' back pulling her waist... They all looked up at me...  
  
"I don't want to know" **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
****  
  
Done! Lol hope you like it!! Buh bi xx REVIEW!! xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx **


	3. SCRUBS!, Prom Preps, WILL YOU BULLY!

**Wooo! Back!! Thanks for all the reviews people!!  
  
Empathy Is Me:---** Lolz yea poor Rk... and she still manages to be evil!  
  
**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:---** Lol! Sisters... Pain in the butts! I have a younger one... Oh My God she's the devil!  
  
**Lady Nicole Potter:---** They're 18/19 I don't think the age fits with the school part... but ah well its written now! Yep! She's sometimes worse... You now how we have to wear uniforms to school, well she'll pull their ties hard downwards that they can barely breathe and the knot is too tight they can't undo it! ... oh yea the bike sheds... erm... I don't know what happened there!  
  
**Alori Kesi Aldercy:---** Lolz you can react however you want! Be disgusted, happy, grossed out or you can think its funny! Lol its up to you. I love it when I update too! Means I've managed to keep my wrists working long enough to type it!  
  
**Pirate-Rose:---** Lolz, I don't think you will again... I don't know... .**x.Flicks through book.x.** .... Oh! You might once more but that's ages away!! You only beat me because you stole my strategy!! Yea... I type this about noon... but there is that weird thing about time differences... YES! My Christmas Porm!!! No one can take it away from me!!! MUWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Lol, she probably wouldn't be able to climb out the closet... Yesh! Lee is the new character!! Bless him... :O EVIL!! Leave you're brother... actually you can if you want.. I won't be there to hear him moan, then roll back over!   
  
**Insanely Sane:---** Lolz hi! :O A WILL CLONE!!! Hold on where's mine... WILL CLONE!!! .... He should be here in a minute... ... ... **.x.Walks out room and back dragging Will** **Clone by the foot.x. **.... There we go!!! :O wow!!! **.x.takes box.x.** .... Not fair!! You've got all them signed seriously?... If you have your too lucky to be true!!  
  
**LadyGlory:---** Lolz! I like Will's new nick name you gave him!! :O ... erm I don't know... er... you pick lol!  
  
**Roberta:---** Don't worry!! Jack will come back!! And he has a really cool... late but there... entrance!! He should be back... er... hold on... .**x.Gets out fan fiction book... and flicks... .x**. Ah... ok he should be back.. Chapter 9!!!... Wow! We have a new poet on our hands people!!  
  
**Chantal J:---** Lolz, Thanks! Here's the chapter for you!  
  
**Captainjack:---** I hate subs... Lol but it's so easy to get away with stuff with them!   
  
**PinkRoseB:---** I don't know what I was thinking on the coughing part! I just needed something that would piss Rk off and I didn't think fidgeting was enough. Oh you'll find out where Will is living in this chapter... you going ahead of me! Lol. .**x.:o Catches.x**. YAY!  
  
**Disclaimer:---** **Hm... Yes, I still do not own PotC!! .... And probably never will... But you never know!! I still own the plot, Rk, Chris, Chris' Flat, Lee, Jess.... And soon the deodorant, brush and can of pop!!... oh, AND THE EVIL PILLOW!!!  
  
SCRUBS!, Prom Preps, WILL YOU BULLY!!  
  
.x. Rach's PoV .x.  
  
**I walked back into Rk and Chris' flat. I walked past a mirror on the wall and had a quick glance in it... only to see my hair sticking out various ways...  
  
"Oh My God Will!! You let me walk down the road like this?!!... Rk have you got a comb?"  
  
Rk, Still lying on the sofa put an arm over the back of the chair, pulled out a brush and chucked it to me  
  
"Thanks"  
  
She scrunched up her face  
  
"What the hell is that smell?! Will! God sake don't you ever use deodorant?!"  
  
She reached behind her again and pulled out a deodorant can and chucked it at Will. He glared her but still used it.  
  
"What else have you got behind there Rk?"  
  
"Nothing much..."  
  
She pulled out a can of pop  
  
"Oh My God Rk! You and Chris live like scrubs!!"  
  
"It's not scrubby! It's... Homey!!"  
  
"Mine and Will's flat is homey... but its not a tip!!"  
  
She laughed and smirked at Will  
  
"Yea, only 'cause Will likes to run round cleaning in a pink piny!... Don't try to lie!! I saw you!!"  
  
Will flung a pillow off the chair next to him at Rk... she choked on her pop and the can flew off... She lay still and still had the pillow over her face  
  
"Rk? Rk?... you ok?"  
  
Will edged over, I just looked in the mirror redoing my hair and watching Will lean over Rk... she's done this countless times to Jess, and somehow Jess still falls for it...  
  
"Rk? RK?! OH NO RK?!"  
  
Will leaned right over her... Rk picked the pillow up and flung it full-force at Will knocking him over.

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.  
**  
I waited until I heard Will lean right over me, when I picked the pillow up and flung it as hard as I could at Will, knocking in onto his arse  
  
I burst out laughing  
  
Rach help Will up  
  
"Last time I give you sympathy!!"  
  
I shrugged  
  
"Hey! I didn't ask for it!"  
  
".**x.Sniff.x.** ... MEANIES!!"  
  
Jess came out the bedroom with Chris and Lee behind her.  
  
"What's wrong Jess"  
  
Rach gave her a sympathetic look  
  
"I didn't want to let go!!"**.x. Rach's PoV .x.  
**  
"Never mind Jess, besides we've got to go and get the dresses for the party!"  
  
"Oh yea!! For my Jack!!"  
  
Jack is Jess' flavour of the month... well week. She is constantly talking about him and Rk gets annoyed really quickly when she is talking about him... probably because of Jack Sparrow going.  
  
Rk turned away and glared.**.x. In The Car .x.  
**  
"Chris! Park already!!"  
  
"Are you kidding Rk?! Look at this traffic!! I'll never get back into it if I drop you lot off!!"  
  
"But you've got to get you're stuff as well!"  
  
"Not here! The guy's shop is way up there!"  
  
"Well ours is here!"  
  
"Well I'm slowing down so get out quick!"  
  
He almost stopped and Rk and I jumped out  
  
"Jess come on!!"  
  
The traffic started to move faster  
  
"Jess! Quick!"  
  
"I'm trying!!"  
  
Chris leaned back and shoved her out  
  
"Go!!"  
  
She fell on to the pavement  
  
"CHRIS!! For God's sake!! Rk help her up"  
  
I dusted my coat off  
  
Rk went up to Jess and held her hand out. Jess reached out for her hand... Rk quickly moved it so Jess fell back down  
  
"Whoops! Finger slipped!"  
  
She did it again... Jess reached back out and Rk snatched her hand back  
  
"Whoops! Finger slipped!"  
  
....  
  
"Whoops! Finger slipped!"  
  
"Rk! Move!"  
  
I helped Jess up**.x. Will's PoV .x.  
**  
"Chris, that was a little rough!"  
  
"Ah, she's ok look... she's up!"  
  
"Hiya Sweet Cheeks!!"  
  
OH GOD NO PLEASE!!  
  
I turned to see Lee sitting next to me  
  
"How the hell did you get in here?!"  
  
"Hid behind Jess"**.x. Rach's PoV .x.  
**  
Jess turned to Chris' car and Waved  
  
"BYE LEE!!"**.x. 20 Minutes Later .x.  
  
**"Do you think Jack will like me in this?... Or how about this?... OH! Jack will love this!!"  
  
Jess hadn't shut up about Jack in the last 20 minutes and Rk was slowly screwing up a 2-piece women's suit I think she wanted... I know Jack's Jess' date, but bloody hell! Take a breath!!  
  
"OH! I've got to get Jack this!! OH!I think my Jack will..."  
  
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! SHUT UP JESS!!"  
  
Rk threw the suit on to the floor and walked out the shop  
  
"...Oops... Do you think Jack will like this?!"**.x. Rk's PoV .x.  
  
**GOD DAMNED JESS! I know it's not her fault but... She just does not know when to shut up!! How many 'Jack's' can you fit in one sentence?!  
  
I walked down the road and went into the shop where the lad's were.  
  
I threw the door open and stomped over to Chris... and held my arms up  
  
He hugged me  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"HmmJess..."  
  
"Oh right"  
  
I pulled away  
  
"Where's Will?"  
  
"Changing rooms"  
  
"Lee?"  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"Oh Wiiiiiiill!"  
  
"Over there"  
  
"Lee get lost!!"  
  
Rach came in carrying three big bags,   
  
"Rk are you ok?"  
  
"Stupid Jess"  
  
"Don't worry... I sent her to get a takeaway"  
  
"Oh great! Not only will she take hours, but the food will be cold... Then, WE CAN RUN HER OVER ON THE WAY BACK!!"  
  
"No Rk! Nothing to do with Jess and a car please"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
Chris went to pay for his things and the other guys  
  
"Aww, calm down babe! Just show me you're sexy ass!"  
  
"LEE! I WILL NOT STOP MYSELF FROM HITTING YOU!!"  
  
"Chill my sexy Sweet Chee..."  
  
**.x.BOFF!!.x.  
**  
Lee came flying out the changing rooms... and onto the floor  
  
"LEE!!"  
  
We all yelled and ran over to him  
  
Will came out holding his fist...  
  
"Ow..."  
  
Rach stood up  
  
"Aww!"  
  
She rubbed his hand  
  
"Better?"  
  
He nodded... Rach shoved him  
  
"YOU BULLY!! YOU'RE BIGGER THEN HIM!!"  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"Hmmff..."  
  
"Oh! Lee are you ok?!"  
  
"Hmmff!"  
  
"OH! YOURE BLEEDING!!"  
  
"HMMFF!!"  
  
I turned round to Will  
  
"YOU EVIL THING!!"  
  
"LOOK! I'm sick of him calling me that!"  
  
Chris came back carrying two big bags... looked at Will.. then at Lee on the floor  
  
"Hospital?"**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Done!! Too busy! I'm late sorry!!! Got to go!!!  
  
REVIEW!!!!  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **


	4. HOMOPHOBE!, No Chains!, HIC!

**Hello!! Ok here's Chapter 4 for you all!!  
  
Ok I really appreciate anyone who has ever reviewed me... especially for the last chapter... I went to my inbox and nearly fell off my wheelie chair!!  
  
PinkRoseB:---** Lol!! .**x.Watches in amusement as Will tries to escape.x.** ... aww bless! Going ahead again... I do have someone in mind for Jess but he doesn't make an appearance until quite a while off... but its love at first ... er... punch I think. **.x.Catches skittles....x**. .... Hmm... taste the rainbow!!  
  
**Carrianne:---** Yes, you still get to hold Will hostage, I mean, Keep him!!  
  
**Duckiez143:---** Lol you want them too? Gosh, they have their own little fan club of love!!  
  
**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:---** Lol. I love it when my little sister stays round my grandma's house... its so peaceful, I expect her to jump out from behind the sofa!  
  
**LadyGlory:---** WOOO! **.x.Grabs carrier bag of odd things and Will's leash.x**. OFF WE GO!!!  
  
**Roberta:---** Lol. Don't worry he'll be back before you know it! I think you got Rhyme-I-tus.... Never mind I'm sure it will go... if not ah well you can just talk in rhyme forever!  
  
**Nessa Inwe:---** Lol. Welcome back!! My insurance doesn't cover injuries due to laughing!! Lolz I tried to end with the title but I had to have that What?! At the end of it! Lol! I like the... er... tie.  
  
**Pirate-Rose:---** Lol. I was suppose to be at the cinemas... Whoops! Have you ever noticed how the curtain or door in a changing room will NEVER EVER close properly when it has LOADS of people there to watch you?! Ah, Tic Tac Toe... I still love it... even though it has nothing to do with the fact that any other game wouldn't work... Yes Will and I have a place... so does Rk and Chris, I think Jess will just turn up and stay at either one, uninvited of course! Lol... fine! Be evil will the new Will Clone!! ... Yes I can sense the boredom. Lol I knew there was a reason you liked Rk being engaged!  
  
**Carn:---** Lol, you bagsy Jack eh? Lol I think we all have a friend like Lee!! I have about 4!! Lol thanks!!  
  
**Alori Kesi Aldercy:---** Lol. Poor Baby Will! His hand!!... forget Lee's face... lol. Thanks! You'll probably have to keep saying it!!  
  
**Captainjack:---** Lol! I had the mental image thing too!! I have a few friends like Lee... they get in so much trouble...  
  
**Chantal J:---** Lol! Thanks! Here's the chapter... FOR YOU!!  
  
**Lady Nicole Potter:---** Lolz... CAPTAIN Jack will be back chapter 9 so don't worry not that far away!! Thanks for the review!!  
  
**Empathy Is Me:---** I also think Lee deserved it... My poor baby Will!!  
  
**xXx. Insanely Sane .xXx:---** NO WAY!! YOU'RE TOO LUCKY!!!!... **.x.Sulks.x.** lol. Will Clone Number 2!!!  
  
**Disclaimer:---** **Ok... I still do not own PotC or any of the sexy characters that appear in the movie... I only own; Chris, Rk, their flat, Jess, Lee and the limo!!... Am I forgetting something... Oh yea! And the plot!!  
**

**   
  
HOMOPHOBE!, No chains!, HIC!!  
  
.x. Hospital... Again .x.  
  
.x. Rach's PoV .x.  
**  
We had dragged a squealing Lee and a moaning Will out of the shop and into A & E. On the way there Lee started squealing so bad Will threatened to hit him harder... So we were now sitting on a group of chairs... Lee, then Jess, then Rk, Chris, me then Will... trying to keep them apart  
  
I was holding an ice pack to Will's hand and he still had a glare on his face  
  
"Oh for God's sake Will! You've got a face on you like a smacked arse!! Chill out!"  
  
He huffed  
  
".**x.Sniff.x**."  
  
Will looked at Lee...  
  
**".x.Sniff.x.** .... Hmmff... **.x.Sniff.x**."  
  
"Oh shut up moaning"  
  
":O! ONLY 'CAUSE YOU'RE A HOMOPHOBE!!!"  
  
The entire room turned to look at us...  
  
"YOU'RE NOT EVEN GAY!!"  
  
"OH SHUT UP!! JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T COME OUT!!"  
  
I looked at Lee  
  
"Hey!!"  
  
"THAT'S IT! HE'S ASKING FOR IT!!"  
  
"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU! GROW UP!!"  
  
We looked at Rk  
  
"What? They're annoying me!"  
  
Will sat back down... and started glaring again  
  
The nurse came over to us  
  
"Could you PLEASE calm down!!... Weren't you in here a few months ago with a man... also who had been hit in the face?!"  
  
"Hey! He was hit in the face by a bus!!"  
  
"Jess, you're making people stare again"  
  
"Well he was! He fell into the side of a still bus!"  
  
The nurse gave us a weird look  
  
"Well I suggest you stop hitting people in the face... with hands, fists or buses!"  
  
She walked off  
  
"Pfft! I'll show her!!"  
  
Rk went to go after her  
  
"Rk! No wait! What if she remembers us for supposedly attacking the doctor? I really don't want to get thrown in jail again... especially tonight! What about the Prom!"  
  
She sat back down...  
  
"Speaking about the prom... We better go to my flat and get ready guys"  
  
Me, Jess and Rk stood up  
  
"Hey! What do you need 4 hours to get ready for?!"  
  
"Well we need to... well... Rk is better at telling you."  
  
She took a deep breath  
  
"Wash hair, dry hair, straighten hair, curl hair..."  
  
"What is the point of straightening and curling?!"  
  
"AHEM!... Curl hair, style hair, do nails, re-do them, do make-up, re-do that about 12 times..."  
  
"OK OK! Just go!"  
  
"Oh! Wait! How are we getting there?"  
  
Rk, Jess and I all looked at Chris...  
  
"NO WAY!! I'm not taking you!"  
  
Will looked at Chris  
  
"But what about the Limo we ordered?"  
  
"WILL!!"  
  
"Oh"  
  
Rk and I started jumping up and down  
  
"He got me a Limo!! HE got ME a Limo!!"  
  
"No! Will got ME a Limo!!"  
  
"We got it to share!!"  
  
Rk turned to Jess  
  
"HA HA!!"  
  
"Jess is sharing too"  
  
"Bollocks"  
  
"Ok come on girls! My flat!!"  
  
"BYE!!!!"  
  
"WAIT! YOU'RE LEAVING ME WITH THAT... THAT SAVAGE?!"  
  
"HEY! YOU ASKED FOR IT MATE!!"**.x. Mine and Will's flat .x.  
**  
"JESS! YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE A CLOWN!!"  
  
Rk laughed...  
  
"Why did you think I didn't let her do mine for?!"  
  
"IT'S NOT COMING OFF!! JESS!!"  
  
"I always use water proof!!"  
  
Rk laughed even harder  
  
"So that's why you look like a panda in the mornings!!"  
  
"Pandas are cute and cuddly, so thank you!!"  
  
"Jess, pandas are nearly extinct... take a hint!"  
  
"RACH!! RK'S THREATENING ME AGAIN!!"  
  
"Shut up both of you, get the dresses on"  
  
"DRESS?!"  
  
"Don't worry Rk, I got you a two piece"  
  
I chucked her the suit  
  
"A suit?!"  
  
"Rk, it's only the trousers and jacket... think of the possibilities!"  
  
"...:O CROP TOP AND CHAINS!!"  
  
"No chains!"  
  
She ran past me  
  
"CROP TOP AND CHAINS!! YAY!!"  
  
**.x. 4 Hours Later .x.  
  
.x.Knock Knock.x.  
**  
"Hey Will! Wow! You look great!"  
  
"Thanks! So do you!"  
  
I smiled  
  
"Ok, lets go... help me with her will you"  
  
**.x.Evil Giggle.x.  
**  
Will took Rk's arm...  
  
"Oh My God Rach! She's drunk!!"  
  
"SHHHH!!"  
  
"Who's drunk?"  
  
Chris came to the door  
  
"HIYA CHRISSY BABY!!"  
  
"YOU LET MY DATE GET DRUNK!!"  
  
"It was the only way I could get her to loose the cuffs!!"  
  
We climbed into the Limo and Rk slumped down on top of Chris  
  
"Erugh! Her breath stinks! What did you give her?!"  
  
"I don't know! Caribbean rum I think"  
  
".**x.Giggles.x**. .... I need a drink!"  
  
Rk tried to climb up... Will helped her  
  
"GET OFF MY .**x.HIC.x.** CHAIN!!"  
  
Will looked at her chain...  
  
"I'm not on it"  
  
Rk pulled the chain up and rubbed it  
  
"You were sitting on it!! .**x.Hic.x**. Don't act innocent!"  
  
She messed with it  
  
"Stupid baster**.x.Hic.x.** ... Why you even with him Rach? Eh?!"  
  
I tried to hide a laugh  
  
She slummed off the chair and leaned by the mini bar and giggled  
  
"MINI BAR!! STOP **.X.HIC.X.** HUMPING THE LASER!!"  
  
She fell face first on the floor... and stayed there  
  
"What am I going to tell the teachers?!"  
  
"Er... My dates drunk?"  
  
".**x.Giggle.x**. PIGEON!"  
  
Chris started pulling Rk up  
  
"Rk! Get up!! WE'RE HERE!! GET UP!!! I CAN'T LET THE TEACHERS SEE YOU DRUNK!!"  
  
**".X.HIC.X.** I'N NOT... HEY! WHO KICKED ME?! I'M NOT DRUNK!!... .**X.GIGGLE.X**. JUST NOT VERY SOBER!!"  
  
Chris pulled her up and climbed out the Limo...  
  
"Oh God! The headmasters here!"  
  
He balanced Rk so she looked a little less tipsy and started walking into the school  
  
We walked past the headmaster and into the hall  
  
".**x.Giggles.x**. ... He thinks I'm sober!!... PUCH .X.HIC!.X. BOWL!!"  
  
She staggered over to the punch bowl... we followed her  
  
"HIT ME! **.X.HIC.X."  
  
**The attendant looked at Rk then at the ouch bowl  
  
"Don't you think you've had enough?"  
  
Rk leaned on the table and pointed in his face  
  
"LOOK **.X.HIC.X. **IF YOU DON'T HIT ME I'LL .**X.HIC.X**. BLOODY HIT YOU!!"  
  
"Ok! Ok!"  
  
She snatched the cup and took a gulp then spit it out  
  
"EWW! **.x.Hic.x.** ... this needs a little something... .**x.giggles.x**."  
  
I watched as Rk pulled out two small bottles full of coloured liquid  
  
"Will!! Rk's putting shots in the punch bowl!!"  
  
He looked blank  
  
"Shots?... get-out-of-your-head-drunk-shots?"  
  
He shook his head  
  
"ERUGH! Chris! Rk's putting shots in the punch bowl!"  
  
"Uh oh"  
  
He pulled her round  
  
"RK! Stop... oh.. it's ok! She's drinking it!"  
  
She threw the empty bottle over her shoulder and took another one out, undid the top and turned to the punch bowl  
  
"RK NO!! STOP!!"  
  
Chris grabbed the bottle and wrestled with Rk for it  
  
"THEY NEED IT!! .**X.HIC.X**. LOOK AT 'EM THEIR LIFELESS!!"  
  
"RK... ITS ALCOHOL!!... LET GO WOMAN!!"  
  
Will looked less confused  
  
"Oh! Beer! You could have just said!"  
  
Rk let go of the bottle and the contents flew everywhere... including the punch bowl... and the bottle hit off the headmasters head... He fell to the floor  
  
Another teacher came over  
  
"RK!! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!"  
  
She raised a finger...  
  
"I... .**X.HIC!!!!.X**."  
  
...And passed out  
  
Chris picked her up  
  
"I'll take her... over there"**.x. Will's PoV .x.  
**  
"Will I need a drink!"  
  
"Ok! I'll get one!"  
  
I dodged through the dancing people over to the drinks table  
  
"DUUUUDE! THIS PUNCH IS SWEET!!"  
  
I looked to me left to see 3 guys from the PVC floor with cups of punch... one of them had Rk's discarded shot bottle floating in it.  
  
The drinks guy held up two cups of punch  
  
"Er, have you got anything that didn't come out of that bowl?"  
  
He sighed and walked off  
  
"Oi Will"  
  
"Hey Chris"  
  
"Alright, look I got to take Rk home... you and Rach coming?"  
  
"Er, I'll go check"  
  
I walked off leaving the drinks guy holding out two cups of pop he went all the way across the hall for.  
  
"Hey, Rach, Chris is taking Rk home we staying or going with them?"  
  
"I'm tired... lets go"**.x. Rach's PoV .x.  
**  
Will and I headed towards the Limo... Chris was standing there supporting Rk  
  
"CHRIS... .**X.HIC.X**. WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO?!"  
  
"Your going to be sick and I want to be home if you are"  
  
"I'M NOT GOING TO .**X.HIC!.X.** .... Ok maybe I am"  
  
"Where's Jess?"  
  
I looked round  
  
"She's still inside, I'll go get her..."  
  
".**X.HIC.X**. LEAVE HER!!"  
  
"She was with 6 guys... I'm sure one will give her a ride home"  
  
"Ok"  
  
"YO HO HO A PIRATES LIFE .**X.HIC.X**. FOR ME! .**X.GIGGLE.X**."**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
****   
  
Done!!! Thanks for reviewing if you did!!REVIEW!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **


	5. Hangovers, Bobby?, WEE CHRISSIE!

**Ok, once again went into my inbox... left clinging to my wheelie chairs... making most of the foam pop out...**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- **Lol. Glad you liked it! What bug? Where?!...

**LadyGlory:---** WOOO!! :O We can see the sexy elves!!! **.x.Drags Will Clone.x.** ... if you behave then I'll let you have some cookies... **.x.Sets alarm for 5.x.**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:---** Lol. That's the only problem with drunk people you don't know if their going to barf of not... Or breathe in helium and start singing various different lyrics from different songs... which in a strange way fit together!... See my weirdness is inherited.

**Erica:--- **HIYA!! Lol. It's been so long! Welcome back!! Jack will be back before you know it! Lol. What fame?! All I got is a plot and wacky people... I don't even own the computer it's written on!! Lol thanks for reviewing!!

**Duckiez:--- **Lol glad you liked it!!

**Carn:--- **Lol he'll be back in about 4 days!! Don't worry it will go before you know it!!

**Roberta:----** Lol like I said... my insurance does not cover injuries that happen when laughing!... Not good if you're writing a humour fic... Ah well I'll sort it out when I can be bothered. :o Kick him back! People are aloud to laugh hysterically if they want to!!... I laugh when I'm writing this in school, my teacher thinks I'm weird... he thinks I'm laughing about Physics!!

**Pirate-Rose:----** I went to watch I, Robot with Will Smith... Aww... Bless the ickle robot sonny!! Our list of things that hate us is really getting longer... :o TODAY IS FRIDAY!! STORY TIME!!... I got to read it.. again!! WOOO! :O YOU SAW A HAT THAT SAID MRS. BLOOM?!... IT'S NOT FAIR! America gets all the cool stuff before us!! Oh don't worry we'll get that hat over here... in about 6 years time!! Lol. Mini countdown ball! Yay! HAVE A NICE TRIP!!!!

**Chantal J:---** lol. Thanks! I'm really happy I cheered you up!! Woo! I'm happy now!!

**Captainjack:---** Lol I love sugar!!... :o Have you ever had those haribo little sweet things? Omg! They get you so hyper... not surprised though... main three ingredients are sugar, glucose and syrup!

**PinkRoseB:---** YAY FOR MY RANDOMNESS!! Lolz. I can't help it sometimes these thoughts jus pop into my head! :O What music video is that? I need to see it!

**Disclaimer:--- I do not own PotC!!! I only own my plot, Rk, Chris, their flat, Jess, Jess'... er... friends and Lee!!!**

**Hangovers, Bobby?, Wee Chrissie!!**

**.x. Next Morning .x.**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

****

**.x.THUMP.x.**

**"**Mmmpf..."

**.x.THUMP!.x.**

"Mmmpf!"

I rolled out of bed and staggered into the living room... Ok my heart is beating really loud... its in my head!

"Head... oww"

I walked to the sofa and saw Jess on there with two boys I'd never saw before

"Orgy... eww"

...So I shoved them off and lay on the sofa, I was nice and relaxed and... I think I'm falling to sleep... yay.

"WAKE UP IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING! DUM! DUM!"

"LEE!! Oww!... My head...shut up!"

"OH! Someone's got a..."

He lent over the back of the sofa near my ear

"...HANGOVER!!!"

"Oww!... Please let me hit him..."

He looked round

"Who you talking to?"

"My brain"

Jess sat up and so did the other two guys...

"Morning Bobby!"

The guy looked confused

"I'm not Bobby..."

"Neither am I"

"Oh well... Nevermind. Get dressed and go"

The guys got their stuff and went out the door

"Bye Je.."

And Jess shut it on them

Lee walked out of the kitchen in an apron

"Ok! Who wants crispy eggs..."

I feel...

"AND big greasy sausages?!"

"SICK!!"

I leapt up, ran past Chris who had just come out of the bedroom, and into the bathroom slamming the door.

**.x Rach's PoV .x.**

**.X.SLAM!!.X.**

God sake! So much for a lie in!!

I got out of bed and went into the living area

Rk was leaning up against the bathroom door with Lee and Jess on either side of the doorframe talking over her...

I went and sat on the sofa

"Why's it called a hangover?"

Lee looked thoughtful...

"Maybe... because they hang over... the toilet!"

Rk looked annoyed

"Can't someone have a hangover and puke in piece?!... OO!"

She ran back into the bathroom

"Rk stop slamming doors!!"

"IT'S... MY.... FLAT!!"

Jess walked past me

"Where's Will?"

"He's still in bed asleep"

Rk stalked back into the room and slumped onto the sofa, where Chris and I were sitting

"RK!! GET OFF!"

I pushed her off me so she was on Chris

"Hmm... What's that sizzling noise?"

Chris moved Rk and went into the kitchen

"It's the bacon"

"It's so loud"

"Hey guys!...Lee"

Will came over and sat in Chris' now empty seat... With something stuck to his leg...

"Er, Will what is that stuck to your leg?"

Will pulled it off

"They're... red leather.. thongs"

"They aren't mine!!"

Lee came running over

"There mine don't touch them!"

He snatched them out of Will's hand

"What are they doing in our bed?!"

"It's MY bed!!"

"It's the spare room!!"

"EXACTLY!! MINE!!"

"OH GREAT! Now I have images in my head with you and... those red things!!

"Shut up!!!... Eww!... I'm going to be sick..."

She ran off carrying a pillow

"Hey! My pillow!"

She flung it

"I'm hungry, where's the bacon Chris?!"

"Rk was moaning at the noises so I stopped"

Rk came out

"It was loud!"

Chris shrugged and looked at his watch

"Guy can we start getting ready we need to be there soon"

Rk looked around

"Be where?"

"Er, Wedding rehearsals Rk!"

"Whose?"

We all sighed

"I don't know maybe ours!"

"Oh! Mine?!"

"Ours"

"Fine then ours! God, can't please some people!"

"Rk, get dressed"

"I don't want to! I'll go like this"

She gestured to her baggy tracksuit bottoms and Chris' over-sized t-shirt

"Now"

"Hey! You lot aren't ready yet anyway!!"

"We're going to now!"

**.x. 20 Minutes Later .x. **

"Ok we're done!"

Will and I walked out of the bedroom and sat on the sofa... Rk was sprawled out on the floor on her stomach

"You two got dressed in the same room?!"

I could tell she was pulling a nasty face

Will put his arm round me

"Of course... Don't you and Chris?"

"PFFT! NO!"

"It's quicker Rk"

"Yea right, just the same if you go in the bathroom and Will is in the bedroom"

"Not when Jess is in the bathroom, and besides..."

Will smirked

"...If you get undressed with them you might as well get dressed with them!"

She rolled onto her back

"That is gross!!"

He laughed

"I'm kidding!"

"Rk come on get dressed!"

"Aww... tut... go without me!"

"We can't you're the bride!!"

"I've got plenty of time to learn what to do!"

"The wedding is Christmas day! It's only a week and a few days away!!"

She sighed

"Your still not dressed!!"

Chris had come out

"Oh yea... that"

"Go get changed!"

"I would... but that would mean moving, I'll go like this!"

"Rk you can't go to OUR wedding rehearsal in MY shirt!"

"Why not?! And so what if it's yours? Rach walks round in Will's all the time!!"

"Yes but I'm sure Will wasn't wearing it in bed first!"

"You took it off! So I had it!!"

"Just come on Rk! Go in the bedroom and get ready please!"

"Fine! I'll go get dressed... in the bedroom... With the BED!!"

She ran in and locked the door

"Rk! Don't you dare!"

Chris banged on the door

"Rk! Out! Now!"

"How can you make me? I'm locked in and there's no way you can break in with those arms!"

Chris looked at his arms...

I leaned up the door

"If you don't come out I'll..."

Jess came out the bathroom

"...I'll set Jess on Chris!"

Jess rubbed her hands together

"OOOO! MY WEE CHRISSIE!!"

"OK! OK! OK!"

Rk come out

"Jess! GET OFF HIM NOW!!"

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**DONE! WA LA!**

****

**Lol.**

****

**REVIEW!!!**

****

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**


	6. IT BURNS!, favourite bridesmaid, Tough W...

**Sorry this took so long but yesterday was such a nice day here so I couldn't waste it!!**

**Roberta:--- Lol. I don't know who would laugh at physics... but my teachers already think I'm insane anyway so I think they think I could be laughing at how wonderful circuits are! **

**Pirate-Rose:--- OH YEA! SORRY! I forgot... Canada... ok I'll remember... Lol oh yea... I'll advertise!!**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Lol. You'll have to wait and see! He's back soon!! Yay! I love writing his character! It's fun!! Yea... I wouldn't want to marry Chris... he's kind of boring.**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Lol. Wonder what noises they are?... ... Lol.**

**Book-Addict:--- Lol. Obviously! I can imagine someone trying to read this without reading the 1st one... their brain is totally lost... aww... bless. Lol.**

**Chantal J:--- I know it was way too hot for England yesterday!... some things up... it wasn't raining. It's nice today as well! Scary. :O You need Haribo's!!! They make people so hyper!! Amazing how many 'bored's' you fitted in there... amazing! Lol**

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:---- Lol! Liking the nicknames! Ihate library's well they hate me... I am unable to keep quiet in them. Don't you just want to yell or start singing really loudly?... Ok... Maybe it's just me. They won't let me go back in... well their loss! I can't return the book because they won't let me in!! .... I'll see what I can do about those clones... .x.Shifty Eyes.x. ...I know some people...**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Rk and Chris are getting married... Lol. Ah well we all have those kind of days! I can't help it I feel weird if I don't update! Lol.**

**Captainjack:--- Lol. I have had a very bad experience with thongs... I was in a shop with my mate (who I can't mention 'cause of the fic, but you can guess) and I was walking around the underwear section when my mate pulled this thong down really far and it shot up in the air of the hanger and hit a man in the side of the face, my mate ducked down behind a rail and I got blamed! So I just stay away from that shop from now on...**

**LadyGlory:--- LOL! Like the use of words there! :o My baby Will! ... :O YAY! Elves!! I need to bring one back as a souvenir!! WOOO! Lol.**

**xXx Insanely Sane xXx:---- Lol well I love anything that is Romance and Humour. I LOVE the Harry Potter story, Marry, or Die! It's hysterical! Plus I love LotR Stories, The Additional Fresca Files. They're great! If you know any good ones tell me! Lol. :O AND CARIBBEAN RUM SMELLING WILL CLONE!!! WOOO!!**

**PinkRoseB:--- Yes... Jess is trampy in this... Bless her! Lol. :O Orange leather thongs!.... I like that lol. Rk and Chris are kind of like a weird couple, they don't really understand each other... and they let each other get away with every thing! :O FRIENDS?! I love that!... I miss it! ï **


	7. Slamming, Slamming!, SLAMMING!

**Ok back people!! It's been all of... 24 hours!**

**Chantal J:--- lol. Thanks.**

**Roberta:--- Lol! Yea... Poor Chris, ah well stuff him!**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Lol. Yep... he'll have to find out sometime! **

**Savi:--- Jack's back soon yay! Lol. Thank you!!**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Lol... I feel bad for Chris now! He'll have to find out sometime though... I think.**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Oh! It was a computer! Ok then. Lol. I've hardly been out at all! I hurt my ear though when my boyfriend and I fell off my hammock... Buts that it.**

**Naoko tasaki:--- Lol! Remember to scroll! I do that as well... Jack's going to be back before you know it! Only two more chapters!**

**Captianjack:--- Lol. I cannot keep a secret, I think my record is three days of keeping one... and yet my friends still tell me them, you'd think they'd learnt by now!**

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- Is that what it's called? I better write that down. Thanks. Lol I still hate libraries. Don't worry... you'll get one!!**

**Zeldagr1436:---- Lol! Whoo! Joke... Rk's your favourite? Wow. Lol.**

**PinkRoseB:--- My life is like this! Is so scary when I think about it 'cause most of this has happened! We got chased by animals in the safari park, My male mate went face first into a bus wall, one of them also got their head stuck in between fence bars on a park, and finally both of my male mates have had to go into hospital on separate occasions... one for slipping on a fence and landing on a spike, one leg either side. And the other one because he fell off a skate ramp, landed on his back and his skateboard came back, in between his legs... I really think my live has too much chaos in it! OH NO! YOU SAW MY DUCK POND PIC?! Oh my God... I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking when I drew that...**

**Book-addict:--- Lol. .x.Waves Will Flag.x. GO WILL! **

**Disclaimer:--- I still do not own anything! Except my characters; Chris, Rk, their flat, Jess, Lee, The doors!, The difficult book!, AND THE PLOT!!!**

**Slamming, Slamming! SLAMMING!**

**.x. At Chris and Rk's Flat .x.**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**.x.SLAM!.x.**

"**Tut!"**

"**God, Rach has been moody this past week..."**

**I was lying on the sofa with Chris, Rach saw this and slammed the door to 'her' bedroom... or as I like to call it, 'the annoying guests that won't leave' room. She had been hanging around the flat for the past week, slamming doors and has barely spoken to anyone except sometimes Will. Just to give me a major guilt trip over the wedding being a lie.**

"**Time of the month probably"**

**Will walked over**

"**I don't think so, it's something else, isn't it Rk?"**

**I shrugged, he shook his head and sat down on the chair opposite.**

**.x.BANG.x.**

**Rach walked out the bedroom...**

**.x.SLAM.x.**

...**And into the bathroom...**

**.x.WHOOSH SLAM.x.**

...**And back into the bedroom.**

**I clenched my jaw... I am really getting annoyed now. If she wants to slam doors go to her own bloody flat!**

**.x.BANG.x.**

"**THAT'S IT!!!"**

**I jumped up and banged on the bedroom door**

"**Rach!"**

"**Yes?"**

"**Stop slamming doors in MY flat!!"**

**She opened the door and put her head out...**

"**Oh! Sooo sorry! It's won't happen again I'm sure"**

"...**Good!"**

**I turned and Rach went back in**

**.x.SLAM!.x.**

**I gritted my teeth... So, do I go in and risk Chris finding out about Jack, and live with constant slamming?... I weighed things up in my mind and walked away from the door.**

**.x.BANG!.x.**

**I ran back to the door and stormed in... Rach was sitting on the edge of the bed, reading a book.**

**I stood there, she glanced up then carried on reading.**

"**Look! You can't mope around MY flat all day and slam MY doors!"**

**She just carried on reading...**

"**AND you'll have to talk sometime!!"**

"**I do talk"**

"**Full of sarcasm! You haven't spoken to Chris all week!"**

**She closed the book and put it on the side of the bed. She got up and stood in front of me.**

"**No, I haven't. And you know why Rk? Because If I speak to Chris I will not be able to stop myself revealing your little secret. So it seems best for everyone, Well, best for you, if I just don't speak doesn't it?"**

"**Seems that way!"**

**She sat back down with the book and I walked towards the door.**

"**Oh Rk, I can't do this, I can't take not talking! I can't keep hiding this from Chris, I feel so bad!... And its not just me! Will is Chris' best man! It's tearing him apart!"**

"**Pfft! I'm surprised he hasn't told him!"**

"**Well he hasn't, remember we're Chris' friends too Rk"**

"**Look... Will you feel better if I tell you I'll tell Chris?"**

**She jumped up**

"**YES!! OH RK YES!!"**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

**Chris and I were sitting in silence...**

"**YES!! OH RK YES!!"**

**We both looked at the door then each other...**

"**They're not?"**

**He looked thoughtful, then shook his head...**

**"Nah..."**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

"**But not yet!"**

**Rach's smiled disappeared**

"**What do you mean not yet?!"**

"**Urm well..."**

"**When Rk?!"**

"**Erm... I'll tell him, if... er... If... Jack turns up..."**

**Rach gasped**

"...**At the wedding!"**

**She smiled...**

"**That, can be arranged" **

**She walked out the room, leaving me with the book that I didn't understand... **

"**O...k!"**

****

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

****

**WILL JACK GET THERE IN TIME?!**

****

**WILL JACK EVEN TURN UP?!**

****

**Find out in the next episode oooooooof... Drinks All Round!!.... Almost said Ermmm Savvy then!**

****

**Lol.**

****

**REVIEW!!!!**

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**


	8. Shoes!, Glue!, JESS GETS IT!

**Ok back again!**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Lol something good should happen to her soon!**

**Zeldagr1436:---- Lol I would put them together but... I WANT HIM! Plus, Rk doesn't like him... she told me!**

**Book-addict:--- Lol, That just popped into my head so I had to put it in! **

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- I know he's coming!! Yay! I know it wasn't as funny but I've got to have some serious chapters... Other wise they'd just look like clowns! Lol.**

**FiRe- BabiiE:--- Lol Finally she's going to tell... but it took her long enough!**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Lol. I hate cartwheels... I always end up making myself look a complete idiot... lol.**

**Racerchick15434:--- Lol yep he's coming! That part just appeared... I don't know where it came from lol!**

**Disclaimer:--- Nope, nada, zilch... get the picture? I only own Rk, Chris, Their flat, Jess, Lee, The shoes!, The glue, sticky tape, needle, thread, scissors, the bowl and the FOOD!! Oh, and the plot.**

**Shoes!, Glue!, JESS GETS IT!**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**.x. Night before the wedding .x.**

"**WHERE IS MY OTHER SHOE?!"**

"**Chill Rach! Anyone would think that its your wedding tomorrow!"**

"**Sorry, Will. I just need things to be on time!"**

**I looked under the sofa and under the pillows to find my shoe**

"**But, what about the..."**

**Will lowered his voice**

"...**The Jack thing?"**

"**Oh, don't worry I've got everything sorted!"**

**We sat down on the chairs, me still holding my shoe.**

**Jess came out of the bedroom and looked as tough she was searching for something... She walked up to my chair, pushed me to one side and looked through the pillows.**

"**Tut! Jess! What are you doing?"**

"**Looking..."**

"**For?"**

"**Something..."**

"**What?"**

"**Something your not!"**

**I looked at Will and rolled my eyes**

"**What Jess?!"**

"**The other one to this!"**

**She held a shoe in my face...**

"**Wow! Those are gorgeous!... ITS MINE!!!"**

**I went to grab it but she turned round**

"**Jess!!"**

"**I want it!"**

**She went to grab mine... I held it up in the air**

"**NO!"**

"**Ok! I'll give it you..."**

**She passed the shoe to me, I took it, then she grabbed the other one**

"**NO JESS! GIVE IT!!"**

**I grabbed the other shoe...**

**We tugged them**

"**LET GO JESS!!"**

"**MAKE ME!!"**

"**I WILL!!"**

**We both tugged**

"**THEIR MINE JESS!"**

"**PROVE IT!!"**

**We each gave a huge tug and we fell back... Will helped me up. I looked in my hand and saw the shoes... I held them in Jess' face**

"**HA HA!!"**

**Jess looked in her hand and held up a thin piece of material...**

"**What the?"**

**It was the same colour as my shoes... I looked at my shoes... one minus a strap**

"**OH! YOU BROKE IT!!"**

"**Whoops"**

"**Whoops? WHOOPS?! WHAT ELSE?!"**

"**Er... you can wear them!"**

**She dropped the strap and ran into the kitchen**

"**What?... Jes... bu... WILL!"**

**He hugged me**

"**You can wear another pair of shoes!"**

"**I know... but... MY SHOE!!"**

**He laughed, I whacked him on the arm.**

"**It's not funny! They were expensive!"**

"**I thought they were a gift!"**

"**Yea but that's not the point!"**

"**I'll buy you new ones"**

"**I don't want new ones!"**

"**Well, I'll fix this one then"**

**He bent down and picked up the broken strap**

"**Why are you being so sucky- uppy?!"**

"**Because you're in a bad mood and I'm not letting you get to me!"**

"**Mm... How can you fix it?"**

**He took the strapless shoe out of my hand and examined it...**

"**Easy!"**

****

**.x. 20 Minutes Later .x.**

"**I told you blue and white look ok together!"**

"**Oh yea..."**

**Jess and Rk were talking about wedding colours**

"**I still say it should have been red and black!"**

"**Yea I wanted it! But Chris said his mom would have a heart attack..."**

"**And that's a bad thing?"**

**They burst out laughing...**

**I looked up from my book**

"**Any one want a drink?"**

**Rk shook her head**

"**No ta"**

"**Jess?"**

"**Yea please!"**

"**Will?"**

"**No!"**

**Rk smirked**

"**Aww... Sweet Cheeks all ragged up because he can't fix a ickle shoe?"**

"**No! It just won't stick!!"**

**Will was sitting in the middle of the floor, having pushed the coffee table aside. He was surrounded by sticky tape, cotton wool, needles, scissors, he was now holding the shoe and strap together having placed the now empty super glue tube down.**

"**I just need to hold this for a while..."**

**Rk tilted her head and gave him a weird look...**

**I went into the kitchen.**

****

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**I gave Will a weird look**

"**I still say sewing was a better idea"**

"**Nah, wasn't strong enough, wouldn't last long"**

**I raised an eyebrow...**

"**And I bet the fact that you kept pricking yourself with the needle?"**

"**Nah! Never felt it!"**

"**Of course... that's why you squealed, threw the shoe and a half sewn on strap up in the air, jumped up and down, cursed THEN stood on the needle!"**

**He rubbed the bottom of his foot with a plaster now on it.**

"**What was the sticky tape for?"**

"**Couldn't find the super glue at first"**

"**So... you were going to sticky tape it?"**

"**It was and Idea! Just not a very well thought out one..."**

"**Hmm... plus with the amount of excess tape you had on it anyone who came too close to Rach's foot tomorrow would have stuck to her!"**

"**I was going to cut the excess off!!"**

"**Yea..."**

**Rach came back in and handed Jess her drink and sat back down**

"**You done yet Will?"**

"**I think so"**

**He tried to remove his hands from the shoe...**

"**Its stuck!!"**

"**Don't be stupid..."**

**Rach knelt by him and pulled at his hands... then at the shoe...**

"**Uh oh"**

"**Rach get it off!"**

"**I'm trying!"**

**She tugged**

"**OW! OW! STOP!"**

"**Will stop being a baby!"**

"**It's pulling stop it! It's too strong!"**

**Will pulled his hands and shoe away from Rach. I smirked**

"**Hence the name 'SUPER GLUE'!"**

"**Oh my shoe!"**

"**My hand!!"**

**Rach rubbed her forehead...**

"**Er... OH! HOT WATER!! Rk go get a bowl of hot water!"**

****

**.x. Rach's PoV .x. **

"**Rach, get the shoe off me!"**

"**I'm trying! Stop moaning!!"**

**I tugged**

"**OW! RACH!"**

"**Shush! I got to get you unstuck from my precious shoe!!"**

"**Not so rough!!"**

**Rk came back in with a bowl of hit water... she tripped and lost most of it. She put it in front of Will then sat back down. **

"**Ok Will, put your hands in there and keep still!"**

**He did it... I heard the door open, Chris and Lee came in**

"**Take away's here guys!"**

"**Whoo!"**

"**Yay!"**

"**Yes... WILL! Keep still!!"**

****

**.x. 10 Minutes Later .x.**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

"**Well, I'm full!"**

"**Hmm..."**

"**Will! For gods sake! Keep your hands in the bowl!"**

"**I'm trying!!"**

"**You're not trying hard enough!"**

"**I'm hungry!"**

"**I'm giving you food!"**

"**You're eating it all!"**

"**I am allowed to eat you know!"**

"**But... it's mine!"**

**Will was still sitting in the middle of the floor with his hands and shoe in the bowl. Rach was kneeling next to him with a plate of food feeding him, but she was eating most of it.**

**She put some food on the fork and held it up Will opened his mouth for it... She lowered it then quickly put it in her mouth... Will glared**

"**Rach!"**

**She smiled**

"**It's not funny!"**

"**Aww!"**

**She put the plate down and took Will's hands out of the bowl**

"**Lets see if it's weakened"**

**She pulled the shoe**

"**OW!"**

"**Shut up"**

**She pulled harder and his hands came free**

"**MY SHOE!!"**

"**FOOD!!"**

**Rach jumped up and put her shoe on the radiator, Will grabbed the plate.**

**I looked over to Lee... Poor thing, He still had a plaster on his nose from its encounter with Will's fist... He hasn't been as hyper since then... He's calmed down. Stupid Will... Ruined him!!**

"**So Rk, you nervous about tomorrow?"**

"**Huh?... OH! The wedding... Yea, can't wait"**

**Chris looked at his watch**

"**Hey guys, we better get off to Will's flat, we need an early night for tomorrow"**

**The lads got up... Will looked upset**

"**But... food!"**

**They headed towards the door... Will still had the plate. Chris leaned over me and kissed me**

"**See you tomorrow... MRS. Walsh"**

**They left... Rach jumped up and turned her shoe around on the radiator**

**I stood up**

"**Go on say it... I know you want to!"**

"**Sat what Rk?"**

"**Say that I'm wrong and Chris has a right to know..."**

"**I'm not saying anything!"**

"... **That I'm and evil cow for not telling him..."**

"**Rk! I'm not..."**

"... **GO ON! I'M AN EVIL COW!!!"**

"**RK! I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING!! Besides, I can't remember our agreement? I'm not allowed to say anything unless Jack turns up tomorrow. And I'm sticking to it!"**

**She walked into the bedroom... Jess looked up at me from her seat... she looked confused...**

"**You just called yourself and evil cow..."**

**She burst out laughing**

"**AND PEOPLE SAY I'M WEIRD!!"**

****

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

****

**Ok THE ONE AND ONLY CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW IS BACK NEXT CHAPTER GUYS!!!! **

****

**Lol.**

****

**REVIEW!!! OR I'LL KEEP HIM OUT!!!... I'm not blackmailing... It's just gentle persuasion... honest!!**

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**


	9. Now!, Nerves?, ABOUT TIME!

**Ok on with the story!!**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Ok! YOU ARE FREAKING ME OUT WOMAN! It's like you've just read ahead in my story and are talking about it... Stop it! .x.Checks in forest beside my house for spies.x. .... Where are you're contacts?! Where are you getting this information from?!... Lol. Sorry, I'm just a little freaked out now... .x.Hides Fan fiction book.x. There! Like to see you be physic and read ahead now ha!**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- What you done to your foot?**

**Lonaargh:--- Yay your back!! I'm glad this story seems a lot my adult lol that's what I wanted!!**

**FiRe-BabiiE:--- Lol! Fine you twisted my arm! He stays!**

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- Yep! He's back! SUSPENSE! Lol. Oh!... PREZZI!!... .x.Passes Box.x. ... JACK CLONE!**

**Zeldagr1436:--- I had no idea what that meant lol! But it sounded funny when I said it out loud anyway!**

**Pirate-Rose:--- I KNOW THE EVIL THING WOULDN'T LET ME BACK ON!!! Stupid thing... I loved that site it was so cool! It kept me laughing... I'm sad I know but I found it so entertaining! Lol. I know... my web cams so slow... That is also a stupid thing!**

**Chantal J:--- Oh my god... My scanner is so crappy... they look better in real life trust me! Lol. I wouldn't have put them on if I realised they would look that bad!! You have a scar from it?! OUCH!**

**Captainjack:--- Lol! I defiantly know it sticks skin to clothes... Don't ask how I know but lets just say my friends are up to trying anything once... maybe twice. Lol.**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Lol. The fun you can have with shoes is unbelievable! Only if it's not your shoe though... Lol.**

**PinkRoseB:--- Lol!! I think it might be an English thing... But then again you've got Jackass! I think it's just that my friends have no fear... so they don't care if they badly hurt themselves or not. I've never watched that but I never knew nail varnish remover would unstuck super glue... I think I might try that next time a friend comes round... I'll try to ease up on my poor baby Will... Lol. M&M'S!!!**

**Gbmarie:--- Lol. He's been away too long! I missed writing him! OH NO!! INTERNET TROLLS! Lol! **

**Willz gurl:--- I write this story daily and I'm not always hyper when doing so. I write things that will appear funny and some things I write are made up, most are based on experiences myself or my friends have come in contact to. **

**If you feel this story is too active or hyperactive for you, I am sorry but I cannot please everyone no matter how valiant my efforts are. **

**What do you mean when you say screwed story? Because I really don't know if I should be offended or if it was a harmless remark. **

**Book-addict:--- Erm, I think since the wedding is blue and white I suppose it might either be a blue or white shoe... you can pick lol! I'm going to enjoy writing the wedding so much!**

**Disclaimer:--- I still do not own PotC or any of that stuff... I only Rk, Chris, Their flat, Jess, Will's flat, Lee, The ickle priest, Reanne, The snobby attendant, the church, the plot and of course... MY RANDOMNESS!!! OH!! AND MY WILL CLONE!!! .x.Pulls leash.x. ... Come here baby! Good boy... stay... staaaay... STAY! Good boy!**

**JACKS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and if people really don't like the hyperness in this story I suggest they stop reading now, as I will not stop doing humour OR making my characters seem hyper or lets face it, completely bonkers! Thank You. x ... OH! THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN UP YESTERDAY MORNING BUUUUT 'S DOCUMENT MANAGER DECIDED THAT IT STILL HATES ME... ONLY THIS TIME MORE!**

****

**Now!, Nerves?, ABOUT TIME!**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

"**Rk! You're still not dressed! Get ready! We've got to go!!"**

**Rk changed the channel on the TV... **

"**Now! Look! I've gone through too much trouble for you not to be there on time!!"**

"**In a min'..."**

"**Now!"**

**She ignored me... I leaned over grabbed the remote, turned the TV off and flung the remote across the room**

"**NOW RK!!"**

"**OK!"**

****

**.x. Will's Flat .x.**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

"**Where's my jacket?... Will, have you seen my jacket?... WHERES MY JACKET?!"**

"**It's here!"**

**I passed Chris a black tuxedo jacket...**

"**Oh... thanks"**

"**You need to calm down mate"**

**He rubbed his face**

"**I can't... I'm too nervous!"**

**I smiled**

"**It'll be fine..."**

"**Yea, I guess"**

**He laughed to himself...**

"**I suppose the worst that could happen is Rk would tell me at the altar that she loves someone else!"**

**I did a fake smile**

"**Like that's going to happen!"**

**I turned to the mirror and pulled my hair back... Chris put his jacket on**

"**It would be even worse if she told me she loved that weird guy..."**

**I started to tie my hair back in an elastic...**

"**What was his name?"**

**I shrugged**

"**He was your mate!... Oh God I know his name... Oh yea! Jack!"**

**The elastic shot out of my hand, hit off the mirror and smacked me in the face... **

"**Ouch!"**

**I picked up the broken elastic and rubbed my face**

**Chris laughed**

"**Looks like I'm not the only one that's nervous!!"**

**I looked around for another bobble... I didn't have one...**

"...**Yea... Heh heh..."**

****

**.x. In The Church .x.**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

"**Rach, go check again!"**

"**I already have 6 times!"**

"**Please!"**

"**Fine!"**

**I peered around the door leading onto the aisle... **

"**It's still the same Rk!... Family and friends sitting... waiting... for you to hurry up so they can go to the party and get drunk of free booze. The photographer, Priest, you're future husband and my very sexy Will!... Don't you think he looks good with his hair loose?... Don't you Rk?... Rk?"**

**I looked round... Rk was sneaking out**

"**Oi!! Where you going?"**

**Reanne pulled her back...**

"**Maybe I shouldn't do this today... I mean... it's Christmas, people want to go home and spend it with their families..."**

**Jess looked thoughtful**

"**But they are Rk... there all family here!"**

**Rk glared**

"...**And have their dinner..."**

"**You've got a wedding party with food after woods!"**

"...**And open their presents!" **

"**But then... OH! PRESENTS!! Rk's right Rach! Lets go!!"**

"**Yes see! Jess agrees come on..."**

**They went to walk out when an attendant came and pulled Rk back**

"**Time's up love!"**

"**No! I've changed my mind!"**

"**Tough luck now! Sort it out after!"**

**She pushed Rk towards the door**

"**No!! Wait!!"**

**The music started and we walked down the aisle**

**When we got to the bottom Will and I stood together and Jess and another one of Chris' mates stood together...**

**Chris smiled at Rk.**

"**We are hear today to witness the joining of these two young people..."**

****

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

"...**These two young people..."**

**Yea... Young, too young for this. I don't want to be married at 19! I have my whole life still going I don't want to settle down yet!... Or am I just making excuses? Oh I don't care! I'm not doing it! I'm not marrying him!**

**.x.BANG!.x. **

"**STOP!!"**

**A woman came marching up the aisle waving a piece of paper... **

"**That man's still married... TO ME!!"**

**We all gasped... I breathed a sigh of relief... **

**Chris turned... The woman's expression changed...**

"**Oh! Sorry! Wrong church!"**

**She backed away... **

**"Carry on... Heh..."**

**She quickly walked out and shut the doors.... DAMNIT!! I almost had a way out without hurting Chris! Damn!**

"**Ahem!"**

"**Huh?"**

"... **Do you Rk take Thee Chris to be your husband?!"**

**I opened my mouth to shout 'No! Get stuffed' But I looked at Chris and he looked so happy... I don't want to hurt him... I can't.**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

"**Do you Rk take thee Chris to be your husband?"**

**We all looked at Rk... who didn't look focused, well didn't look on the planet at all! I cleared my throat.**

"**Ahem!"**

**She blinked up and looked around...**

"**Huh?"**

"... **Do you Rk take thee Chris to be your husband?!"**

**She opened her mouth then just mouthed wordlessly... She looks like a fish!!**

**Oh God I can't stand this! I have to do something... I raised my hand to my forehead...**

"**I... think... I'm... going... to... faint!"**

**I made a sigh noise and leaned back to fall... Will caught me and looked up**

"**Carry on"**

**I glared him and lowered my voice**

"**What are you doing?!"**

"**Stopping you ruining it!"**

"**Rk wants me to!!"**

**I stood out of Will's arms and went to fall again... He grabbed me**

"**Stop it!"**

**.x.BANG!.x.**

"... **.x.Pant.x. ... Well... .x.Pant.x. ... ere... ye... be!... .x.Pant.x. ... Could have given me... better ... .x.Pant.x. ... Directions... Luv!!"**

**I stood up out of Will's arms and put my hands on my hips**

"**FINALLY JACK! TAKE YOURE BLOODY TIME!!!"**

****

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

****

**DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH!**

****

**What will happen?! Oh! I'm so excited!... Yea... Lol I already know! HA HA!**

****

**Lol.**

****

**REVIEW!!! ...Or I'll take ages... Lol. Well i'll try not to but document manager hates me!**

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**


	10. LEMON!, TART!, Not again!

**Ok so I'm sure everyone is happy that Jack is back! So lets carry on...**

**Jacked-up-on-Sparrow:--- Thanks! So I'm guessing you're a Will fan like me?! Lol. I always think I'm not describing the characters enough, but I guess if it's easy to follow that's fine! Thank you!**

**Roberta:--- Lol! OH! .x.Grabs book and fans.x. ... Er... Is there a doctor on the site?! Lol. ... I have no idea what to do if someone faints... some help I am aren't I?! Erm, .x.Puts in recovery position?.x. ...No that's if you're dying! WILL CLONE?! HELP DRAG HER TO THE SOFA!!**

**Lonaargh:--- Lol! Aww I hate evil boss's... not that I've had many jobs but ah well! I think I'm just like a dysfunctional magnet; everything either blows up, breaks, freezes, or shocks me!**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Lol! Evil foot!! That's good that you can walk all right now!**

**Chantal J:--- Lol. Here it is for you!**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Lol! Nah, don't care if Chris is emotionally destroyed and has shattered dreams... Just as long as Jack's happy!**

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- Lol, I love leaving people in suspence!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh no problem about Jack!**

**Zeldagr1436:--- Yea he's back!**

**Fire-BabiiE:--- Lol! WOO! CONGA!!! .x.Joins on back.x.**

**Pirate-Rose:--- Lol! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Well of course I did! I love having you lot in suspense!! HAHAHAHA!! Lol! You FINALLY SAW THE PIC!! Yay!!! Lol I can kind of tell that you're hyper! Lol, I wanted that part in 'cause the chapter was way too short!! And I was not hyper!!... I wasn't I swear!! LOL! That's it! If the neighbours are yelling turn it up so you can't hear them!! HaHa! I'm crap at any type of computer game... Bleh. My nan spoiles me too... they get all these sweets and say... "You have these I won't eat them" I'm like, well why did you buy them? But I take them anyway!**

**Book-addict:--- Lol. I have done that before! It even bounced and flew back at me, but I didn't get hit in the face... Got to save my beautiful face!!... yea lol. I think blue is more Will's colour too! Lol.**

**Captainjack:--- Yea its better with him back! Yep! Love leaving cliffhangers!! HAHA! Only because I'm evil! **

**Disclaimer:--- Nope, still trying to get them... I only own, Rk, Chris, The church, Jess, The priest, oh, and I don't even own the new character!! Stupid... .x.mumbles.x.**

**LEMON!, TART!, Not again...**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**Jack was bent over panting... He stood up and looked and me, smiled and winked**

"**Alright Luv?"**

**I'm dreaming... I'm daydreaming again! **

"**J-Jack... You're... What are you doing... how did you?"**

"**YOU!!!"**

**Chris came and stood in front of me and glared him... I don't think I'm daydreaming anymore.**

"**HOW DARE YOU COME HERE YOU... YOU... LEMON!!"**

**Jack didn't look fazed... Will looked down at Rach**

"**Rach... I don't..."**

**She rolled her eyes and whispered into his ear...**

"**Oh..."**

**Jack looked at Will**

"**What's it mean mate?"**

**Will looked at Chris then back to Jack**

"**I'll tell you later..."**

**Chris stamped his foot... big baby or what?**

"**There's NOT going to be a later! 'Cause that... TWAT is going!!"**

**Jack glared**

"**I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!... YE... YE SCURVVY SEA DOG!!"**

**I shook my head... Only thing worse then a pirate cussin' is one who does it badly...**

**Jack pulled out his sword... Most of the people in the Pugh's looked horrified and lent well away from him... He walked up to Chris**

**Oh no! I can't let him kill Chris, because lets face it, Chris can't stand up for him self and he has no upper or lower body strength whatsoever.**

**I moved in front of Chris**

"**Jack, no"**

**Chris smirked... I looked at him**

"**He's NOT going either!"**

**He looked shocked...**

"**What?!"**

"**You heard me... There's something I- Rach needs to tell you..."**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

"**Huh?! There is?!"**

**Will elbowed my shoulder**

"**Oh... OH! Well erm well, Rk, she doesn't er she... Jess?"**

"**Er... well she doesn't... Well she does! Just... not... well... I can't explain well but... I can write it down if you want!"**

"**Oh, for Gods sake! Chris, Rk loves Jack... Sorry mate"**

**Jack put his sword away and looked at Rk...**

"**This true lass?"**

**Rk looked at the floor... The family had leaned a little closer to see what Rk was going to say.**

"**WELL?! IS IT TRUE OR NOT RK?!"**

**Chris and turned a weird colour between red and purple...**

"**YES! Yes, it's true. I love Jack"**

**I looked to see Jack reaction... I think there was a smile there, either that or he was about to sneeze... But I'm pretty sure it was a smile.**

"**How could you?!"**

**Chris moved closer to Rk**

"**Why didn't you tell me?! How long have you known this Rk?! WERE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL ME?!"**

"**YES! I just... couldn't"**

"**You had plenty of opportunities!!"**

"**I tried! But you kept going on and on and on about this stupid wedding!!!"**

"**BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!! NOT THAT YOU LOVED THAT ARSEHOLE!!"**

"**EH!"**

"**I PUT EVERYTHING I HAD INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP RK! I PUT EVERYTHING INTO MAKING TODAY SPECIAL! DID YOU REALISE THAT?!"**

**Each time Chris was getting closer and closer to Rk... I grabbed Will**

"**Do something! He's going to murder her!"**

"**He wouldn't do that don't be silly!"**

**I glared at him... He went and stood in between Rk and Chris, he faced Chris.**

"**Look, mate, calm down. No need to get physical..."**

"**CALM DOWN?! ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVE JUST SEEN ME GET TOLD THIS, THIS SECRET AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD... You knew... You knew!"**

**Will sighed**

"**Look, I didn't want to keep it from you any more than..."**

**Chris moved to see over Will's shoulder to Rk**

"**How many more people did you tell?"**

"**Chris stop being so stupid! I understand you're pissed of but for Gods sake look at this from Rk's point of view!!"**

**Chris looked up and moved down the aisle towards me... Bollocks.**

"**I'd expect more from you! Your suppose to be the smart one around here!"**

**I frowned**

"**Don't try to play innocent, I know you knew and you brought that... thing back!!"**

**He pointed to Jack... I was getting annoyed now, he shouldn't scream at me! Puff!**

"**Of course I brought him back! I was doing the best for everyone!"**

"**Best for everyone?! Who? Yourself and Rk that's who!!"**

**He was pointing in my face...**

"**The best for you! You great big tart! If I hadn't brought him back, you and Rk would have been off now on you're way to you're honeymoon!! Or would you rather still have been oblivious to it all?! AND DON'T YOU DARE POINT AT ME!!"**

**I pushed his hand away**

**I heard Jack laugh and murmur 'Tart'**

**Chris stomped over to him... Will stepped in between him and Jack and Rk, Jess and I were there pulling on them...**

"**YOU STUPID FUCKING..."**

**Chris was pulled away from me Rk and Jess to push past Will and attack Jack.**

"**EH! COME ERE MATEY I'LL TEACH YE TE MESS WITH ME!!"**

**Jack was jumping to see over Will's shoulder to glare at Chris.**

"**CHRIS! YOU TAKE ONE STPE CLOSER MATE AND I'LL DO SOMETHING I DON'T WANT TO DO TO A FRIEND!!"**

**Chris glared at Will**

"**GO AHEAD! YOUR NO FRIEND OF MINE!!"**

**Chris was nose to nose with Will... **

"**GO AHEAD! IF YOUR MAN ENOU..."**

**Will whacked Chris and he fell to the floor**

"**Not again! God Will you're so violent!"**

**Chris' mom came and knelt by her unconscious son... Rubbing his head.**

"**You- You FIENDS!"**

**Will turned to Jack**

"**You could have helped me a bit there!!"**

**He shrugged**

"**I was watchin' yer back mate!"**

"**And what a handsome back it is!"**

**I turned to see standing in the doorway...**

****

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**:O WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS PERSON?!**

**WILL, WILL EVER STOP HITTING PEOPLE?!**

**WILL CHRIS EVER WAKE UP?! **

**Lol. I really can't say much I got to go for an interview in about... 10 minutes and I'm still not dressed! So Bye!! **

**REVIEW!!!**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **


	11. YOU!, I LOVE HIM!, I'm here

**Back!! Haha! I know you all loved the little cliffy I left at the end of the last chapter!! I wasn't going to update today, but I thought that I couldn't be that evil... Could I?**

**FiRe-BaBiiE:--- Lol! Aww... conga stopped... :O COOKIE! Ta! **

**Lonaargh:--- Lol yea when you put it like that he is an ungrateful little twit isn't he? Hm, I'll have to think of something nasty to happen to him... Nope! Not telling!!**

**Pirate-Rose:--- Lol Lee eh? We'll see... Ew, I don't like bacon! :O The mallet! The glorious, wonderful, hurtful MALLET! Lol, Lemon and Tart are usually used as insults around Wolverhampton... That's where I live... Lol. We also use ponce but I couldn't fit it in... Gods sake! How long is that bloody list now?! **

**Savi:--- Lol. Tis no problem! My comp is too scared to go as far as break down... it mostly just shuts itself down half way through writing a chapter... .x.glares evil thing.x. ... I kick my computer when it plays up, I don't think it helps that much but it's a good way to let out stress!**

**LXG-LUVER:--- Not telling... lol! I think everyone has these kind of people either as friends or people who just follow you about... I have too many, I think I'll start selling them! Lol. **

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Lol... He is isn't he?! Selfish little bugger... I hate it when people point in my face too! Lol. **

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Lol. I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE PHYSIC! No!! .x.Grabs ff book and hides in not-so-secret-hideaway place.x. Lol. HA HA! Find it now!!... FOUND IT! .... WILL CLONE!!! PUT IT BACK!!!**

**Roberta:--- LOL! I like that, you need a beep though! ... And a tissue you're drooling love... .x.Passes tissues that have Jack's face on them.x. **

**Carn:--- Lol. Little busy? No problem when you review! **

**Gbmarie:--- Lol. I think I might need those trolls... I don't think anyone likes Chris!... Good! Lol. MA WEE WILL! .x.Looks around.x. A HA! .x.Pulls leash.x. Say hello William! .x.Moves arm so he waves.x. I'm evil I know...**

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- Lol. Aw bless lil' Jack happy? Yes! We shall have to arrange a play date for them!**

**Captainjack:--- Lol... I usually get... .x.Gets granny hat and waves stick about.x. these kids these days! OR (My ultimate favourite)... Ahem... .x.Puts on low voice and get's a cop hat on.x. ... Now what would you're parents think young lady?!. I'm always getting in trouble, it's not my fault though! I'm influenced by my friends!... That didn't sound good did it? Lol! I like that about Chris not waking up! **

**xXx Insanely Sane xXx:--- Yes... we English people can be very weirdish... lol. I'll be sure to pass the clone on... or just keep it myself. Lol.**

**Disclaimer:--- Nope! Nothing only... .x.Gets out list.x. Jess, Rk, Unconscious Chris, Lee, The family and friends in pughs that turn out to be very good at crowd noises..., the old mans glasses And the plot!!! **

**YOU!, I LOVE HIM!, I'm here... **

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**Standing there, hands on hips with a smug smirk on their face was... **

"**Elizabeth?"**

**Will walked sown the aisle towards her. I death glared Jack, he raised his hands in defence...**

"**I didn' bring 'er!... She followed me!"**

**I turned back and glared her...**

**She smiled and ran towards Will**

"**Oh, Will... How I've missed you!"**

"**W-What? But Norrington?"**

"**He could never match up to a man like you!"**

**She better watch her step...**

**Elizabeth reached out to him**

"**Please Will... I need you... Baby"**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**Liz reached out and touched Will's cheek**

"**BABY?! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?!"**

**Rach marched towards them and stood in between them, making Liz step back a few paces. Rach crossed her arms and Liz raised an eyebrow.**

"**I'm talking to WILL not a little girl like you!"**

**Rach lunged at Liz... Will grabbed her and turned round so he blocked Rach's path to Liz.**

"**Rach no! Stop..."**

**Rach pulled a face and stopped struggling, Will turned back to Liz. I want to see Rach fight!!**

"**Elizabeth... I don't love you anymore. Y-You left me!"**

**The family in the pughs went;**

"**AWWWW"**

"...**For Norrington!"**

"**UGH!!"**

"...**I love Rach"**

**Rach on hearing this smiled and hugged Will... then stuck her tongue out at Liz.**

**Liz screwed her face up **

"**YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE MY WILL AWAY FROM ME?!..."**

"**I don't think I KNOW!!"**

"... **YOU, YOU LITTLE... NIGHTWALKER!!!"**

**Will and Jack gasped**

"**What the hell does that mean?!"**

**Will moved past Rach in front of Liz**

"**How dare you!!"**

**Rach looked at Jack**

"**What's it mean?!"**

"**I ay telling ye! Ye'll squawk!"**

**I moved over to Jack**

"**Tell me!"**

**He whispered in my ear... I gasped and shouted it out**

"**HUSSY?!"**

**Rach's jaw dropped and looked over to where Will and Liz were screaming at each other...**

"**YOU THINK SHE'S BETTER THEN ME?! ARE YOU BLIND?!"**

"**SHUT UP ELIZABETH!! DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER OR ANYONE OF MY FRIENDS A NIGHTWALKER!!"**

**I looked to see Rach speed walking down the aisle...**

"**Rach?... Rach! Slow down!!"**

**She pushed past Will knocking him into a pugh**

"**Eh! Rach! I was defending you!"**

"**Don't worry... I got you Sweet Cheeks!"**

"**LEE! LET GO!!"**

**Rach carried on... Liz's face looked scared... HA HA! Serves the cow right! Liz backed away and held her hands up...**

"**I didn't, I swear I didn't mean to call you... I just... Take Will!"**

"**TOO LATE!!"**

"**NO! PLEASE! DON'T HURT MY BEAUTIFUL FAC..."**

**Rach pounced on Liz, knocking them both to the floor. Jess ran down and tried to pull Rach off... Liz hit Jess in the face**

"**OW! OH! THAT'S DOES IT! LETS GET IT ON!!"**

**Jess jumped on and attacked Liz with Rach. I started laughing.**

**Will and Jack started to pull them apart... well Will was Jack was just making it worse...**

"**Yea! That's it luv! Smack 'er!! EH! UNFAIR PLAY!!"**

**The family in the queue started to cheer them on and Jess was now accepting bets...**

**I laughed harder, then was pulled by my wrist into the little door on the side that led into the room again. (A:N: You know that room that I can't remember the name for... I should have written it down!)**

"**What the? CHRIS! LET GO!! YOU'RE HURTING!!"**

**I pulled away once we were in the room**

"**What are you doing?!"**

"**ME?! You're the one that was cheating with... THAT THING!"**

"'**that thing' is CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow! CHEATING?! He's been away for 4 months!! You can be so stupid some times!!"**

"**You've known for so long Rk"**

"**I told you... I couldn't tell you!"**

"**If you loved me you would have!!"**

**Ouch... **

"**But... I couldn't because I didn't want to hurt you!"**

"**I could understand if it was Will..."**

"**EW! PLEASE!"**

"**But that arsehole!!"**

"**What is it with you?! You can't even say his name!!"**

"**HE'S HIM! He's rude, filthy and common!"**

"**I'm rude, filthy and common!!"**

"**But he's disgusting!!"**

"**That's what I love about him!!"**

"**NO!"**

"**What?!"**

"**No... I won't let you go to him"**

"**You can't control me!!"**

"**IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU NO ONE CAN!!"**

**I laughed **

"**Oh grow up!"**

**I went to walk out, he grabbed my wrist and pulled my back. I winced involuntarily. **

"**I AM! YOU'RE NOT!!"**

**He's pissing me off now, if he was grown up he would understand!**

"**I LOVE JACK CHRIS! Face it! I want to be with him... And there's nothing you can do abou..."**

**.x.SMACK.x.**

**My cheek was burning and I staggered back onto the wall for support... THAT PUFF HIT ME!!**

**Jack burst in laughing**

"**RACH 'AS MUTLIATED LIZ!! QUICK COME LOOK LUV!!..."**

**He walked over to me and touched my cheek, I winced. He turned to Chris**

"**You hit a lass?! Not any Lass... MY LASS?!!"**

**He pulled his sword out, yet again... I pulled on his sleeve **

"**Please Jack, lets just go."**

**I pulled Jack out of the room and walked down the aisle.**

**The guests were crowed around the middle of the aisle, Jess jumped up and held Rach's hand up.**

"...**AND STILL OWNER OF WILL... RACHYYYYYY THE BLOOOOOONDE BOMBSHELLLLL HIGHFIELLLLLLD!!"**

"**Jess stop it! We're going!"**

**I walked through the guests **

"**Hold on! I'm still collecting bets!!... PAY UP BUSTER!!"**

**Jess squared up to an old man and took his glasses**

"**JESS!"**

"**Coming!"**

**Jack and I walked outside and sat on the steps... I put my head in my hands. Jack put his arm around me**

"**It's ok Luv... I'm 'ere"**

****

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

****

**CHRIS IS A PUFF! **

**WILL RK AND JACK GET TOGETHER?!**

**WILL LIZ EVER BE ABLE TO WALK AGAIN?!**

**WILL JESS EVEN WALK WITH THE GRANDAD'S GLASSES?!**

**Lol... **

**REVIEW!!!!**

**Only three more chapters until I go away for two weeks!!**

****

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **


	12. BUTTONS!, JUMP!, Barbossa?

**That was my favourite chapter!!... I wonder why... Lol. **

**Lonaargh:--- Lol. Fluffy doggy!!! I want a fluffy dog... Mines just... boring.**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Yep on my hols!! :O I FORGOT YOU?! OMG SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!!!! .x.Chucks candy.x. SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Roberta:--- Yay! I got to attack Liz! Yes! Lets burn Chris!! And feed him to your cat!!... ... Can cats eat ashes? .x.Shrugs.x. Ah well... we can try it!**

**Savi:--- Lol. I'll see if I can push... or shove them together! I hate Liz too... I don't know why... I think its cause she kissed MY baby!!**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Yes! Men aren't allowed to touch our pretty faces!! We can bash theirs but that's allowed!! It is weird how we can hit men... and get away with it... aww bless 'em their scared of us! I'm going on Wednesday to watch the Olympics then I come back for a day and then go to Gran Canaria with my mom, sis and nan! Lol. **

**Chantal J:-- Thanks!! **

**PinkRoseB:--- Lol. He's a stupid Puffy jerk!! I told you I'm so random sometimes... plus I hate Liz so she had to get a beating! Yes! Will would have a lot of explaining to do if he took her back!! Lol I like him being a little more manly my mate took the piss out of him in the movie so I made him manly!! Lol. Jackass is the closest thing to compare with the weirdness of my friends. They scare me sometimes I don't know why I hang around with them!**

**Captainjack:--- Lol. I didn't either! I was sitting in physics ages ago... (That's the lesson I write this in lol.) and I said I needed a word that would offend someone but wouldn't know what it meant and it needed to be pirate-y lol. And my friend (PotC mega, obsessively freaky fan) Said nightwalker... and it took her nearly all the lesson to find a word that would explain it to me! I know! Stupid Liz I wouldn't need asking twice! Actually I wouldn't need asking at all, I'd just grab onto his arm! I know bless ickle Jacky!! .x.Pats head.x.**

**Disclaimer:--- I still do not own my very own movie... Or hunky stars... I only own Rk, Chris , Jess, her weird glasses that aren't hers, Lee, THE LIMO!, the oversized suitcase, the gay shirt, The little trick that the gay shirt does, The photo booth, the plot AND MY RANDOMNESS that really comes out in this chapter...**

**BUTTONS!, JUMP!, Barbossa?**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**Rk sat on the church step with her head in her hands, Jess, Will and I sat on the step below and didn't say anything... Jess was counting the money from the betting.**

"**20, 40, 60..."**

"**Jess that was a 10"**

**She squinted then lifted the glasses up**

"**Oh yea"**

"**50, 60..."**

**Rk stood up and walked down the steps to the Limo that was going to take her and Chris to the airport. She got in and shut the door. Is she leaving?!**

"**Rk?... RK!!"**

"**What?"**

**She popped out of the sunroof **

"**What are you doing?"**

"**Changing things"**

**She disappeared inside then a corner of a suitcase came out of the sunroof**

"**Trust the fart to pack to much!"**

**She pulled it back in and came up holding loads of clothes and threw them into the road**

"**RK!!"**

**Chris came running down the stairs**

"**Don't talk to me woman beater!!"**

**I looked at Chris questioningly, He looked down. Jack stood up.**

"**I...well...I didn't..."**

"**Not so tough now, eh laddy?!"**

"**Shut up, Rk stop it now!!"**

"**Why?"**

**Rk pulled a dark blue silk shirt out, smoothed it out on the roof...**

"**Because there's no need for this!"**

"**You are NOT coming on the honeymoon with me!"**

"**You are NOT going!! It's my trip!!"**

"**PFFT!!"**

...**She buttoned the shirt up...**

"**I think after your little show of 'masculinity' in that room, I DESERVE IT!!"**

...**She held the shirt up by the collar...**

"**I COULD TURN YOU INTO THE POLICE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!"**

"**I... But... FINE! Take the trip..."**

**She smiled**

"**I knew you'd see it my way!"**

**She pulled each side of the collar roughly... causing all the buttons to fly off in opposite directions**

"**THAT WAS MY FAVOURITE SHIRT!!"**

"**AND IT BELONGS IN A GAY BAR!!... YOU LOT GET IN!!"**

**Will, Jack, Jess and I jumped in the Limo... Jess waved to Chris.**

**The Limo drove off.**

"**Rk? Where are we going?!"**

"**To the airport... got to get out of this frumpy thing!!"**

**She ripped both sleeves off, threw her high heels out the window, ripped the bottom of the skirt into a mini...**

"**Whoa! Rip some more Luv!!"**

"**Shush..."**

**She took the tiara and veil off and passed them to Jess...**

"**Here... you have them"**

"**OH! THANKS!!"**

**Jess put it proudly on her head... she was still wearing the bifocals.**

"**Er, Rk how are we going to make it through the airport? Jess and I haven't got our passports and those two don't even have them!"**

**She went through Chris' bag**

"**Minor setback... er... Take this!"**

**She passed me Chris' passport.**

**.x. Mine and Will's Flat .x.**

"**Look, first we need 2 passport photo's; one of Jack and the other of Will... Then we need another males passport around the same age as either Will or Jack."**

"**We've got Jacks... He'll have to have Chris'"**

"**What about Will?"**

"**Get Lee's"**

**Will screwed his face**

"**I'm not being him!!"**

"**You just need his name!"**

"**Oh"**

"**Ok, Rk, you take Jack and Will to get their pictures... Jess and I will get Lee's passport"**

"**Ok..."**

**She passed me her flat keys, Jess and I headed towards the door**

"**Oh and Rk? Make sure you get good pictures!"**

****

**.x. 20 Minutes Later .x.**

**.x. Chris' flat .x.**

"**Jess?... Jess?... JESS!"**

"**What?!"**

"**Have you found it yet?"**

"**No... You?"**

"**Nope..."**

"**Lets just phone Lee!"**

"**Jess you honestly think that Lee is stupid enough to tell us where his flipping passport is?!"**

"**Top draw in the bedside table behind the belts..."**

**I turned to see Lee standing in the door way smiling... I dropped the handful of clothes I had just pulled out a draw. Jess ran off.**

"**Oh! Hi Lee!"**

"**Hiya! That wedding was great! Not a dull moment!... Shame about my money though, I betted on that Liz girl..."**

**I frowned, Jess came running in waving Lee's passport**

"**Got it!!"**

"**Er, Lee, can we borrow it please?"**

"**Sure!"**

**I stopped by the door**

"**Aren't you going to ask why?"**

"**Nah! Never used it!"**

"**Oh ok thanks! Come on Jess!"**

**I ran out the door and shut it after Jess came running out**

"**ERUGH!"**

"**OH FOR GODS SAKE JESS, GET UP!!"**

"**NOT MY FAULT! YOU SHUT THE VEIL IN THE DOOR!!!"**

****

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**.x. Woolworth's... Shush! .x.**

"**Look, When Jack has had two flashes he'll jump out then you'll jump in. And if you're lucky have two flashes, if not make the last one a good one!"**

"**Why don't we just have four pictures each... then you can pick the best"**

"**PFFT! You think I'm going to pay and extra 3.50 for six pictures I don't need?!"**

**We we're standing out side a photo Booth in the middle of Woolworth's, I was still in my ripped dress and barefoot.**

"**Ok Jack you ready? I'm putting the money in now so get ready... Don't touch that! Just look into that box!"**

**Will and I stood out the way and I held the curtain for Jack to jump out and Will to jump in... One flash... Two!**

"**Ok Will jump!! Jack out! Quick!!"**

**They went face first into each other. Will pushed Jack out and he sat just in time for the last flash...**

"**Oh well done!! I swear if I have to pay another 3.50!!"**

**.x. Back at Rach and Will's flat .x.**

"**I've got the pictures!"**

"**Great! I've got Lee's passport!"**

**Rach took the strip of photo's...**

"**What happened there?!"**

**She pointed to the picture with Will's legs on and Jack's back**

"**The Whelp didn' jump quick enough!"**

"**I jumped fine!!"**

"**Ok... I need... tweezers, superglue, a small knife, and scissors!"**

"**Why do you need those for?!"**

"**Get them and I'll show you!!"**

****

**.x. Later .x.**

"**Look! I can't do it if you all keep leaning over me!!"**

"**Sorry, it's just interesting to watch"**

**Rach was leaning over the coffee table. She had already replaced Lee's picture with Will's and was now carefully pealing back the see-through paper to put Jack's picture in... **

"**Shit... I ripped the see-through sheet"**

"**I'll get the cling film!!"**

"**Jess! It's ok I can fix it!!"**

**I leaned over her**

"**How did you learn to do that? It's like secret agent!!"**

**She laughed**

"**It's amazing what you learn when you go on a trip with only geeks!"**

"**Oh... is that the trip I was suppose to go on?"**

"**Yes... but you ditched me"**

"**I thought I'd be surrounded by geeks!"**

"**So you left me to be surrounded instead?!"**

**She put the see-through paper back over the picture...**

"**Done!!"**

**I took the passports **

"**Ok go pack... quick!"**

**Everyone ran off in different directions...expect Jack. Rach ran back.**

"**Where are going exactly?"**

"**We're going on a two week holiday to Barbados!!"**

**Jack gasped**

"**Barbossa?!"**

****

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Aww Jack's so innocent... Bless.**

**Will they make it through the airport?**

**Will Jack and Will cope with flying?!**

****

**Lol.**

****

**Review!!!!!!**

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **


	13. Tickets!, They're for reading!, Sleepy!

**Sorry I was really busy yesterday... I had to work overtime 'cause everyone decided to turn up ill! THEN I had to repack my case about 7 times! And now I've forgot other things. Do you ever get that? Think you've packed then turn round and see something you need?**

**Lonaargh:--- Lol. YAY! Licky dog!!!**

**FiRe-BaBiie:--- Woo conga!! .x.Joins.x. COOKIE!! YAY!!**

**Pirate-Rose:--- Lol .x.Takes money.x. Good guess though! Yesh!!! We should all gang up on him and slit his throat!! Yep Rk left me with geeks... My other mate did that in the park!! He went to the shop and left me with these geeks talking about I dunno I think it was global warming...**

**Carn:--- I can't live without my computer!**

**Captainjack:--- There is a little flirting part with Jack!**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- That's good! Lol.**

**Chantal J:--- Thanks! Here it is for you!**

**Lady Nicole Potter:---- Lol. I hate Elizabeth so much... Stupid Lee... Yea I know the flash makes your eyes all unfocused... then you look crap for the next picture! .... I have the right to remain silent on where I got my information from... I got left in the park with geeks for hours!! My friends said he was going to the shop... He went to the one that was miles away... **

**PinkRoseB:--- Lol. I think I really wanted the trip! Yep they made him out to be wimpy... Poor baby... Hes got to have strong arms... and back I suppose to break down a jail cell! lol 3 hours of practice... imagine the muscles.... .... Lol. **

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Lol. Lol Barbossa's sooo popular!! Lol. **

**Disclaimer:--- Nope all I own is the plot Rk, Chris, Jess, The weird people at the airport. And a case that doesn't fit everything in I need!!!!**

**Tickets!, they're reading!, Sleepy!**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**We were in the Limo speeding to the airport**

"**Why are we goin' te Barbossa?!"**

"**Jack! Calm down! We're going to BAR-BAD-OS!!"**

"**Oh... What's that?"**

"**You mean where's that... It er... well... I don't know."**

**Rach laughed**

"**I thought you took Geography!"**

"**Do you think I listened?!"**

"...**Good point"**

**Will leaned up the window and gasped**

"**What's that?!"**

**Rach leaned over**

"**What?"**

**Will was jumping in his seat**

"**THAT! THAT!"**

"**CALM DOWN!!"**

**Rach leaned up the window**

"**It's a plane!! It's what we're going on!"**

"**It... fly's?"**

"**Yep!"**

"**Whoa..."**

"**Rk, we're here"**

**We climbed out and dragged our cases into the check in area.**

"**Hi! Passports and tickets please!"**

**The woman didn't look too happy... she was wearing a Christmas hat.**

"**Ok... Er, I only ordered 2 tickets when I needed them for us all..."**

"**You'll have to go over there to see if there are any tickets left for you're flight"**

"**Uh huh"**

**We dragged our cases over to the other side...**

"**I wish I hadn't packed so much!"**

"**You're not even carrying it!!"**

**Will was dragging Rach's case along with his.**

"**Hi!"**

**Another weird person in a Santa hat...**

"**Er, I need 3 extra tickets on the next Barbados flight... Please."**

"**You'll have to pay for them"**

"**That was what I was intending..."**

"**Oh!"**

**She typed very quickly on the keyboard... **

"**You're lucky not many people are flying today so I can get you 3 seats together... That'll be £3,999"**

"**Er, ok... is there a cash machine near?"**

"**Don' matter Luv... I'll charm my way in..."**

**He turned to the woman**

"**Alright luv?"**

**He winked, she raised an eyebrow...**

"**The cash machines over there..."**

"**You mean that one all the way over there?!"**

"**Yes"**

"**But you can barely see it its that far away!!"**

"**I can see it..."**

**I ignored Jess who was still wearing the Granddads glasses... that were magnifying glasses.**

"**Come on Rach"**

"**Why do I have to walk over there!"**

"'**Cause I have to!"**

**Rach stalked along with me towards the cash machine... **

"**Rk... how are we going to pay? Jess has only got the bet money?... How come we always end up without money?!"**

"**Well, Chris' parents put £6,000 in his cash card account for the honeymoon..."**

"**And how are we suppose to get it out?!"**

**We got to the cash machine and I got out Chris' wallet...**

"**You'd think I'd ditch Chris without taking his wallet?... you should know me by now Rach!"**

**I put the card in... and pushed in the code**

"**He told you the code?! God he's thicker than I thought!"**

"**No! He wouldn't tell me... But I know he keeps a little piece of paper in here with it on look!"**

**I waved the paper around, Rach grabbed it**

"**Rk! Careful! There's people eyeing you up for you're card!!... How much are taking out?"**

"**All of it..."**

"**Oh.. ALL OF IT?!"**

"**Shush!"**

"**Rk!"**

**I put the wallet in my bag with the money and we walked back over to the ticket... thing. Jess was leaning over the desk to the woman**

"**THERE FOR READING!! DON'T TAKE THE MICK!!"**

"**I-I wasn't implying..."**

"**YEA! I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE IMPLYING MISSY!!!"**

"**JESS! GET OFF THE SIDE!"**

**Rach pulled her off**

"**Here you go..."**

"**Thank you..."**

**She passed my change and tickets**

"**You can go check in now.."**

"**Yea..."**

**We dragged our stuff yet again over to the check in..**

"**God I feel like a friggin' Yo Yo!"**

"**Ok here's the tickets, passports and cases and FOR GODS SAKE JACK GET OFF THAT DAMN CONVEYOR BELT!"**

**The woman jumped and took the stuff and pointed to where we had to go**

"**Thanks luv..."**

**Jack winked again**

"**JACK!!... Jess... Jess! This way!!"**

"**Oh..."**

**.x. On the Plane .x.**

"**JACK GET OFF AND SIT DOWN!!!"**

"**NO!"**

"**PUT YOUR SELT BELT ON!!"**

"**WHY?!"**

"**CAUSE I FRIGGING SAID SO!!!"**

"**Excuse me sir you will have to come down and put you're seat belt on.."**

**Jack was clinging onto the overhead compartment...**

"**But that voice... it came form the walls!!"**

"**THAT WAS THE BLOODY CAPTAIN!!"**

"**CAPTAIN?!"**

**He got down, stood on the chair and put his hand son his hips**

"**I demand to see 'im!!"**

"**I'll go book you a session in the cockpit..."**

**.x. Cockpit .x.**

"**And this is the big chair that I sit in because I'm the captain and I fly you to your holidays!"**

**Jack and I were standing in the cockpit surrounded by little kids...**

"**Now who wants to sit in the big captains chair?!"**

"**ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEE!!!"**

"**Ok young man!"**

**Jack stuck his tongue out and sat in the chair...**

"**What's that?"**

"**Auto pilot..."**

"**N that?"**

"**Don't push the big red button!!"**

**He did...**

**.x. 20 minutes later .x. **

**When Jack pushed the big red button... he set alarms off and all the oxygen was being sucked out the pane... So we were now sitting with our oxygen masks on... whenever we breathed we sounded that dark vaider!**

**Jess Looked at me**

**"Luke... I am you're father..."**

**I looked to Jack**

"**Well done..." **

**.x An Hour Later .x.**

**The captain had managed to get oxygen back onto the plane and we were able to finally take our masks off.**

**I looked to the window and saw Jess and Jack asleep still with their masks on... I looked across the aisle to see Rach and Will asleep by another woman... Great everyone's asleep... A thought hit me that just couldn't wait!!**

**I leaned across the aisle and pushed Rach's elbow**

"**Rach?"**

**She turned and snuggled to Will**

**I pushed her shoulder**

"**Rach?... Rach?!"**

**She mumbled something...**

**I shoved her back**

"**Rach!"**

"**MM?!"**

"**You awake?"**

"**No! Go away..."**

"**Yes you are!! You answered... Rach?... Rach?... Rach...?... I can keep doing this... Rach...? .... Rach?.... Rach...?...."**

**Gods she's good...**

"**Rach...?....RACH!!!"**

"**WHAT?! RK?!!!!"**

**She yelled, still snuggled by Will, which made him jump awake and rub his ear...**

"**You brought Jack back didn't you?"**

"**Oh well done Rk"**

**I frowned... No need to be sarcastic... **

"**I MEANT how did you bring him back?"**

"**I gave him a mobile..."**

"**That was ages ago!!"**

"**I told him to turn it on the day before Christmas..."**

"**Why?"**

"**I wanted to bring him back as a Christmas present....But then you said that you're wedding day was on Christmas I told Jack to get his butt down here..."**

"**How could he turn it on?"**

"**Rk, he managed to find the tones on yours so I'm sure he could turn it on!" **

"**Oh... OH! And Liz?!"**

**Rach frowned**

"**You think I brought THAT back?!"**

"**Oh..."**

**She turned back round**

"**Oh! How did he get here?!"**

"**I don't know RK!!!!!"**

**Will jumped again**

"**For Gods sake Rach..."**

**I looked back to the screen that was playing cartoons...**

**.x.Bang!!.x.**

"**BLOODY FOOD TROLLY!!!"**

"**RACH! Stop yelling!"**

"**But my elbow!!"**

**.x. At Barbados .x.**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**We had got our cases and were in a taxi that was taking us to our hotel...**

"**What's the hotel like Rk?"**

"**I don't know Chris' mom booked it..."**

"**God... Chris was a mommy's boy..."**

"**Yep... I know"**

**The taxi stopped outside a set of big black gates... we got out and I looked through the gates. There was a huge hotel that looked like a mansion... **

"**Rk! I thought it was a hotel not a mansion!"**

"**Whoo! Go Chris' mom!!"**

**3 men in suits came and took our cases up and another man came and directed us into the hotel...**

"**Talk about quick service!!"**

**We followed the men into the foyer area... There was two huge staircases either side of the room that met at the top, marble floors and a fancy seating area.**

"**Whoa..."**

**Will and I went over to the reception... Leaving Rk, Jess and Jack to play in the rotating doors.**

"**Hello... How can I help you?"**

"**Er, well we were booked after a wedding..."**

"**Ah, the newlyweds?"**

"**No..."**

**I pulled Will aside... **

"**Will, just agree we'll get a better room and everything... unless you'd rather share with one of them..."**

**We looked to see Rk, Jess and Jack badgering a bus boy for his gloves and hat**

**We turned back to the receptionist**

"**Yea that's right! We're the newlyweds!"**

**The woman nodded at Will**

"**You never left a name for us..."**

**Will put his arm around me**

"**Mr and Mrs Turner..."**

**We did a big smile just to seal the deal...**

"**Ok, Here's your key have a good stay with us"**

"**Thank you"**

**We raced upstairs as Rk, Jack and Jess were just coming up to the reception... Jess still with the glasses and now a pair of white bus boy gloves...**

****

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

****

**Tar dar!! Ok... this is the last chapter for two weeks!!! So enjoy... Or I might put one up tomorrow morning... not sure yet. We'll see!!!**

****

**Review!!!**

****

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **


	14. Sleep well?, Don't give in!, PARTAY!

**I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU MISS ME?! I MISSED YOU!!! I found a bloody computer there that I could have used but I forgot the flipping fan fiction book!!**

**I'M BROWN!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!**

**FiRe-BaBiiE:--- Lol! I had to dance to that with umbrellas... Won't go into that... :O LIFE SIZE POSTER!!!!!!!!!! .x.Snaches and runs off.x. **

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- I'm from round Birmingham!! You should have guessed... We're all weirdly hyper and you can't understand our slang! Elizabitch will pop up WAAAAAAAAAAY later... I think not sure yet... She stayed with Chris and Lee I think... But I don't care... OH OH!!! JOKE!!! AHEM... What should you do if you run over Elizabitch?....... REVERSE!!!! Ok so not funny I know... I'm just so hyper!!**

**Chantal J:--- Thanks bab! **

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BACK IN SCHOOL!!! Have no idea why I'm laughing... I'm back in school!! BUT IT'S MY LAST YEAR!!!!!!!! **

**Gbmarie:--- Lol. I forgot... ahem well I'm back now!!!**

**Carn:--- You'll a lot braver then me... I won't go anywhere without a computer... I even found one on my holidays!! **

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Lol... I don't know why she steals things... its just the way she is I think... I think my parents are addicted to flying we always fly everywhere, well, can't blame them... you haven't seen my dad drive...**

**Captainjack:---- Actually you're not that obsessed... I've seen obsessed and it came in the form of two girls arguing about Johnny's favourite veggie, It came to blows...... Now THAT'S obsessed... You still admit your obsessed though... they thought they were completely normal... yah, rolling around punching you're mate because of Johnny Depp's favourite Veggie is COMPLETELY normal... Sorry I go on and on and on and see I can't stop now!**

**PinkRoseB:--- Lol... I'd love to leave an ex-boyfriend without their bank cards... and most their teeth... But anyhoo! :o I FORGOT ABOUT WILL!!!!**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Oh! Sorry I thought it was spelt like that... lol wasn't sure! Thanks though! **

**BridgetRiley:--- Lol thanks!! I'm glad more people like it!!!**

**Goth Princess:--- I hate it when computers decided they hate you even more then they already did!! Kick it!! I do it to mine!! Lol... It works sometimes!**

**Jamie Leigh:--- Don't you just love more stealing and lying?! Lol. Makes it more... evil!**

**Lonaargh:--- Sorry!!! Lol. I hate going to work... I doubt it's as stressful as yours seeing as I'm 15! **

**LadyGlory:--- :O A PENCIL!!! THANK YOU!!! I always end up using mine until there's nothing left to grip on them! It's so much fun in photo booths!! We tried to fit 6 people in a little passport picture thing! We managed but we we're all squished. **

**Book-addict:--- YES OF COURSE I NOTICED YOU WERE GONE!! I got burnt!! Lol. Ok forget burnt... I got fried!!!**

**Naoko tasaki:--- Thanks!!!!**

**SerpentsDaughter:--- I do that a lot... I love a story, forget to add it then can't find it again!! It's like it disappears!!**

**Pirate-Rose:--- I'm back!!!!! Lol!!! I talked to you while I was away... don't you feel so proud?! Lol. My friends were brain dead until school started and reminded the teachers why they hate us!! **

**Katiiey:--- She didn't steal my plot she asked me if she could do a story when she met up with Rk, Jess and myself and I agreed. Yep! Their real!! **

**Disclaimer:---- .x.Drags heavy case inside door and slams down.x. Good to be back!!! Don't own PotC .x.Scuffle and scratch.x. ... What the?... Hello? ... Or the characters only my characters... .x.Whimper.x. ... Who's in my house?!!! .x.Rattle of chain.x. ... .x.Little clogs turn in head.x. .... OH!!!! WILL CLONE!!!!!! I FORGOT YOUR BABYSITTER!!!! **

**Sleep well?, Don't give in!, Partay!**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**I headed down the stairs down to the foyer. I looked round to see Will lying on four chairs pushed together on his back... his feet were sticking over the edge of the last chair. I laughed to myself**

"**What are you doing?"**

**He opened his eyes and looked up at me...**

"**Trying to sleep"**

"**Down here?"**

"**Rach was walking about..."**

**I pulled the end chair out from under his feet... causing his legs to back off the floor.**

"**Rk! I came down here to get away!"**

**I completely ignored him and carried on...**

"**Why was Rach walking about so early?"**

"**She wasn't walking about so much but she was throwing clothes on the bed!"**

"**So?"**

"**It was on my head!!!"**

"**Tut. Should have told her to stop it!"**

"**You tell her!"**

"**No!"**

"**I ignored it until I got a pair of jeans on my head..."**

**I burst out laughing as Jack came down the stairs, he pulled at another one of Will's chairs...**

"**Give us a chair lad..."**

"**Get your own!"**

"**I want this un!"**

"**Why?!"**

"**Its better!"**

**I looked round the foyer at the 20 or so chairs... all exactly the same...**

"**Fine!! TAKE IT!"**

**Will sat up and pushed the last two chairs away... Jack taking one**

"**Will's getting ratty! You better behave before Rach comes down!"**

**He pulled a face like a little kid who had been told off**

"**As soon as she is finished I'm going up to MY room and sleeping for the rest of the day!"**

**I nodded**

"**Yea, just until Rach tells you to go somewhere with her..."**

"**I'll tell her no"**

**I burst out laughing again**

"**You! ... Tell Rach.... No?!"**

**He nodded... **

"**Well now's your chance... She's coming down the stairs..."**

**His expression changed to a shocked one... I can't wait to see this...**

**Rach walked over to us and kissed Will's head...**

"**Feeling better?"**

**He nodded**

"**Come on then... Lets go"**

"**Go?... Go where?!"**

"**We're going to the beach... then shopping"**

**Will went to open his mouth and mouthed wordlessly at Rach**

"**Anything you want to say Will?"**

"**N-No..."**

"**Good lets go then!"**

"**Ok..."**

"**I'm just going to hand our room key in..."**

**She walked off. Jack jumped up.**

"**Don' take it laddy!! Tell 'er no!!"**

"**I can't!"**

"**Ye will!!"**

**Jack puffed up**

"**Ye tell er ye want to stay in bed and do nufin!! And there's nufin she can do about it!!"**

**Jack threw his arms out knocking a chair over**

"**You can't be told what to do by a woman!!"**

"**Jack pick up that chair"**

**He picked it up**

"**Ye can't do it laddy! Don't take it from em!!"**

**I looked up and Jack and smirked**

"**Jack sit!"**

"**Yes Luv"**

**He sat on the chair he had just picked up...**

**Rach walked over **

"**Ready Will?"**

**He stood up so he was way over Rach's head**

"**No..."**

"**Why not?"**

"**I'm not going!"**

**Rach put her hand on her hip**

"**And why is that?"**

"**B-because I want to sleep... I couldn't as you were throwing clothes about!"**

**Rach glared...**

"**I did that so I would look nice for YOU!!"**

**Will looked like he hadn't thought of that...**

"**Fine! I'll go alone!!"**

**Will went to hug her, she turned **

"**Bye Rk, Jack..."**

**And walked out...**

"**Be strong lad... Don't give in to her!"**

**Will sat down... **

**He whimpered**

"**Don't give in... be strong you cant let er..."**

"**I CAN'T DO IT!!!! RACH?! WAIT!!! I'M COMING!!! IT WAS JACK'S FAULT!! HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU NO!!I'M SORRY!!!"**

**Will rushed out the doors after Rach, Jack shook his head.**

"**No inner strength..."**

"**Jack, get me a drink...Now"**

**He jumped up**

"**Yes Luv..."**

**Men...**

**.x. Later That Night .x.**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**I walked into the hotel, Will behind dragging my bags from my shopping trip.**

**I headed over to Jack, Rk and Jess who were sitting around a table playing cards...**

"**SNAP!!!"**

**.X.BANG!!.X.**

**Jess slammed her hand down on the pack and picked them up... **

**I sat beside them.**

"**I always win the snap part of this game!!"**

"**Yea... but why have ye always got the smallest pile o' cards?"**

"**I don't know!"**

**I watched as Jess concentrated on the next pair... Rk sneaked her hand round and pulled out a few cards from Jess' pile...**

"**I want to go out!"**

**Rk looked up**

"**You've just got in!!"**

"**I mean out as in a meal?"**

"**Nah, can't be bothered..."**

"**How about a nightclub then?... I saw this good one when I had to stop to give Will a break from the bags..."**

**They all mumbled their excuses...**

**I huffed**

"**How about a drink then?!"**

"**Aye!!"**

**We stood up and headed out... Will had only just entered with all the bags... **

"**Where... you...going?..."**

"**Out... come on!"**

"**Awww no..."**

**.x. 30 Minutes Later .x.**

**We were walking around the town looking for a good bar... **

"**THAT ONE!!"**

**Jack started to jump up and down and pointed at a bar called 'The Tavern' **

"**How did I guess?"**

**We went in and ordered our drinks then sat down.**

"**What's tha?"**

**Jack pointed to my glass...**

"**Cola..."**

"**Can I try it?"**

**I slowly passed him my glass, he grabbed it and took a huge swig... downing half of it... and pulled a lemon sucker face.**

"**As tha' got any rum in it at all?!"**

"**No... I don't like to drink..."**

"**PFFT!!! WE'LL SORT THAT!!"**

**.x. Even Later That Night .x.**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

"**WOOOHOOO!!! PARTAY!!! .X.HIC!.X. ... COME ON AN' JOIN IN PEOPLEZZZZZ!!!"**

"**Rach? Please get off the table?"**

**She leaned down **

"**SHHHHHHUSSSSSSSH!"**

**I tried to pull her off but she pulled her hand out of mine causing her to tumble on to a very drunk bloke on the other side of the table... he looked down at her**

"**Welllll.... Did you just fall from heaven?!"**

**I pulled Rach up off him.**

**Jack and Rk staggered past giggling...**

"**Where's Jess?"**

"**WHA?!"**

"**WHERE'S JESS?!"**

"**PFFT I DON'T OWN A DRESS!!!"**

**They swayed off**

**I spotted Jess on the karaoke...**

"**DANCING QUEEN... FEEL THE BEAT ON A TANGERINE!! OOHHH YEAAA! .... YOU CAN DANCE... IN YOU'RE UNDERPANTS!!..." **

**She squinted to read the words then just hummed... I pulled Rach towards the door**

"**Come on, lets get you back!"**

"**LA LA LAAAAAA!!! DANCING QUEEN... FEEL THE SPEED OF THE SUBMARINE!!...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!... YOU CAN DIVE!!! ....OFF THE SIIIIII...IDE.... WOOO!"**

**I helped Rach get out and onto the hill back up to our hotel. She pushed away wanting to walk on her own... and went face first into a police guy...**

**She looked up at him and raised her hands in defence**

"**I swear drunk I'm not officer!"**

**She hiccupped, He looked up at me for help...**

"**She swears she's not drunk... officer"**

"**Just take her back to her hotel... or your hotel, whichever"**

**I nodded and pulled Rach up the hill, she lent back and tried to grab the police guy's hat.**

"**Control her!!"**

**He pulled his hat back and stormed off, I pulled Rach up the hill**

"**Let go!! I may be walk, but I can still drunk!!"**

**I let her go to walk on her own after working out her sentence... She staggered off talking to herself.**

"**Rach, turn left"**

**She went right**

"**Other left!"**

"**I want this way!!"**

"**But the hotels that way"**

**She stopped and looked up at me**

"**Why are you so evil and mean and... and... evil?!"**

**I looked at her confused... What had I done?**

"**Rach... Are you ok? What have I done?"**

**She pointed in my face**

"**I don't know!!"**

**She dropped her hand and started to cry**

"**Why are you always picking on me William?!!"**

**I started to receive glares from passing couples**

"**She's drunk it's her not me!"**

"**OH SO IT'S MY FAULT NOW IS IT?!"**

**She cried even harder**

"**Rach.. I didn't mean to..."**

**She stopped crying and looked at me**

"**You got a purdy mouth..."**

**She passed out... Great. Just when we get to a hill she passed out!!**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

"**An' then I told 'im te shut his face!"**

**I giggled and helded onto Jacky even more!**

**He sopped an' looked around**

"**Oi... lets go in there... looks fun!!"**

**I looked at the perdy sign with a two shiny ring joined together on it...**

"**Matrimony... Whats tha? Wanna do tha'?"**

"**Yea! Let's do it!!"**

**.x. Back At The Hotel Room .x.**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

**I'd managed to carry Rach up the hill and into our hotel room, just as I'd put her on the bed... she sat up... typical**

"**Hi, Will"**

**I smiled at her**

"**You feeling any better?"**

**She nodded**

"**I think I'm not so drunk as before..."**

**She held her arms out for a hug... which I gave her (A:N: HA HA HA!! I'm the author my word is law!!) and sat on the edge of the bed**

"**Did you carry me up here?"**

"**Yep! All the way up the hill and into the room!"**

"**We're on the second floor"**

"**I still had to go up one floor!"**

"**You didn't use the lift?"**

"... **I couldn't find the right button"**

**She laughed and put her head on my shoulder, she stayed there for a while until she spoke.**

"**Why don't you get some champagne for us (A:N: Is that how you spell it? My spell checker wouldn't let me have anything else!) to drink?"**

"**For a person that doesn't drink you sure are having a lot!"**

"**I'm making up for lost time! Besides, it's our first real holiday together, might as well make it special!"**

"**Ok, you sure?"**

"**Yes, I promise I won't get too drunk and mix up my words!"**

**I laughed**

"**Alright"**

**.x. Back In The Bar .x.**

**.x. Jess' PoV .x.**

"**DANCING QUEEN STEAL THE TEDDY OFF MISTER BEAN OHHHHH YEAAAAAAA..."**

"**You know there's no music don't you?"**

**I looked down at a spotty man with a broom**

"**Oh..."**

**I looked round at the empty bar... **

"**Hm. Guess that's why you shouldn't sing with your eyes shut!"**

**I walked out the bar... still with MY new microphone!... Where am I?**

**I walked up to a guy with a can in his hand**

"**Do you know where I live?"**

"**No!! Get away from my can!!"**

**I looked down at the mans can of beer in his hand**

"**I'm not near your smelly can!"**

"**GET AWAY FROM MY CAN!!"**

"**WIERDO!!"**

**I walked off and saw a man in a pirate suit and a girl hanging onto his arm trying to get up a hill**

"**Oi! Pirate guy... thing! Do you know who I am?!"**

"**YO HO ME HEARTEYS!!"**

"**Nah soz luv... don't know you... I'm good with er... what they called again... oh yea! I'm good with faces!"**

**I looked around**

"**Oh... ok then..."**

**They hobbled off... Where do I live? I looked up and down the street and saw a sign outside another bar**

"**Live karaoke... KARAOKE!!! WOOOOOO!!!... DANCING QUEEN OH YEAAAAAAAA...."**

****

****

****

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

****

**A brief look into Jess' mind there... I got a little carried away but Oh well! **

****

**Did you like my new lyrics to dancing queen?! **

****

**Ok well I still haven't told my boss I'm back off my holidays... Hmmm and I don't feel like working for a while so I'll leave calling them for while...**

****

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	15. Stuck!, Doors!, WE'RE BACK!

**I'M BACK... AGAIN!!! :O You know how I was saying that I wasn't going to call my boss a few days? Well he phoned my house! OH the shame when I answered and he asked why I wasn't in work... I started sniffing and coughing... Now I don't have to go in until Thursday!! HAHAHA The cleverness of me!!**

**Lonaargh:--- Yay! You can rhyme too!! My work is boring, way too long and under paid! Lol. **

**Savi:--- Yea the pirate guy was Jack lol. **

**SerpentsDaughter:--- Oh no... one Jess is enough for this world!! Imagine a world with loads of Jess' running round... That would be scary...**

**Empathy Is Me:--- Lol. I think that's how its spelt... not sure. **

**Gbmarie:--- I love having power!! I love snow!! It's soo cool. Except when the guys at school think its funny to put snow balls down your top... aren't they mature?**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- My dad is a scary driver ask my friends! .x.Points to people crowded in corner.x.**

**PinkRoseB:--- Ooooooh so that's where he's been hiding... Men are so easy to manipulate! I know kind of bitchy with Will... You might not like this chapter then... Lol. Not that bitchy I swear!! Number 1 eh? Well why is Johnny all the way down there?! I mean he's no where near as good as Orlando but not that bad!!**

**Jamie Leigh:--- Lol I love watching drunk people... their so entertaining! :O I saw people at a disco trying to pick up the cardboard bits from the bottom of party poppers thinking they were money! Then a comedian on T.V said that and it made me laugh all over again... Jess' mind can be entertaining as well... Depends what mood I put her in...**

**Captainjack:--- :O Yellow? Hm... I'll have to go shopping now... lol! I LOVE THE BULLFROG SONG!!!! I don't know all the words so I just start humming... What you mean off air?**

**Naoko tasaki:--- Mine still won't let me spell it that way... stupid thing. **

**Book-addict:--- ....Creepy... Never thought of it like that... I usually start to peel the moment I step into the airport... Dancing Queen lyrics were made up on the spot... I think I did quite well with them... Well you'll just have to wait and see... **

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- A drive through chapel was exactly how I wanted Rk and Jack to tie the knot! I thought it suited them so good! **

**Carn:--- Just imagine that... Men like putty in your hand... Yea I think Jess is way ahead of her time releasing her version of Dancing Queen...**

**(A:N: Lol. I love this name so much...) **

**Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon:--- I didn't die lol. Yay!! Jess is cool drunk... I might make her drunk more often...**

**Roberta:---Lol.. you'll have to wait and see...**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Lol! I'm glad you liked the lyrics!! Mostly all mine... except one from Jess.. I loved my new joke so much!! I'm well impressed with myself! Have Pirate-Rose been handing out cool stuff without me being there?! :O I'll have to have a word with her! **

**Disclaimer:--- I own my characters... er the plot... THE BEDSHEET!!**

**Stuck!, Doors!, WE'RE BACK!**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**Oh My God... my head hurts... That's it! No more alcohol for me... ever!!! Ow! Even thinking too loudly hurts... Stupid Jack... this is his fault!**

**I rolled over and snuggled up to Will. I opened my eyes and looked up at him... Aw bless, He looks so adorable asleep, he does anyway but... aw!... Whoa! Hold up! Where's his top gone?!**

**I looked around... and mine?!... I looked down.**

"**Oh My God!... OUCH! Ow!! Frig..."**

**Where are my clothes?!... Where are Will's?! Ok think... what happened last night?... Ok there was my cola... Jack made me have beer... Jess' karaoke... Table dancing... Then champagne... hold up... nothing good ever happens after champagne!!**

**The little clogs in my head went 'click!' and I jumped up**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"**

**Will jumped up looked around the room then back at me..**

"**R-Rach... what?"**

"**What?... WHAT?! YOU PERVERT GET AWAY FROM ME!!"**

**He looked shocked**

"**Pervert?... I don't even know what one is!!"**

**I shoved him away from me**

"**It's you! How dare you get me drunk then..."**

"**I didn't get you drunk!"**

"... **How dare you let Jack get me drunk and then let me get me drunk!! THEN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME WHEN I'M DRUNK!!"**

**He took a moment to figure out what I said then looked down...**

"**Advantage of... Uh oh..."**

"**YOU BET ITS BLOODY UH OH!! I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!!"**

"**I remember parts..."**

**He smirked...**

"**Don't look at me like that!!! It's not funny! I can't believe you did that Will..."**

"**Rach it's not as bad as... erm as you think it is..."**

"**Of course it is!!... I didn't want this not like this!! You knew I was drunk!!... OH! YOU WERE SOBER!!... Just, just go outside please..."**

"**Rach... it's fine honestly... look..."**

"**NOW WILL!! PLEASE!"**

**He quickly wrapped a sheet around his waist (A:N: .x.Gets out camera.x. ... that's it baby... give me a tiger... grrr... oh... ahem) and walked out the door.**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

**I quickly closed the door behind me... God... Rach is really mad at me... I thought she would remember...**

**I went to walk down the wooden hallway... but I was pulled back. I turned to see the bed sheet caught in the door.**

"**Oh for Gods sake!"**

**I pulled it... it didn't move. I turned the handle but it would only open with a key or from the inside...**

"**Great! Just great!"**

**I slumped down the door onto the floor and put my head in my hands... **

**Well this holiday has been interesting... Rach'll be alright in a while she just needs to calm down...**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

**I looked down the hall at the door that had just burst open... Rk backed out yelling at Jack**

"**You flipping stupid ignorant... .... PIRATE!!!"**

"**EH!! You were te one up for it!!"**

"**UP FOR IT?! I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT!!"**

**Great another couple with memory problems...**

"**Yea! Ye say that now!!"**

**Rk turned and looked at me**

"**LOOK!!"**

**She rushed down the hall and shoved her hand in my face...**

"**Look Rk this isn't the best time..."**

"**This silly sod went and married me to him!!"**

**I looked at Rk's hand and saw Jacks ring on her wedding finger**

"**Oh no... You two married?! That's insane!"**

"**I KNOW!!!"**

"**What's that around the ring?"**

**I pointed to the underside of the ring**

"**Part of a beer mat..."**

**She glared at Jack**

"**Eh! It wouldn' fit on yer finger!!"**

"**Oh! So you remember now then do you!!"**

"**I never said I didn'"**

"**You lying git!!"**

**They both starting yelling things at each other... I needed to get away so I started tugging the sheet**

**Jack threw his hands up in the air**

"**DON' BLAME ME!! YE WERE TE ONE SAYIN 'YEA LETS DO IT!!'!!"**

"**I THOUGHT YOU MEANT GO INTO THE PLACE THAT HAD THE COOL SIGN!!...And why the hell are you sitting out here in a bed sheet?"**

"**Look, Rk this isn't a good time!"**

"**Oh but it's a good time to sit up a door in a corridor... IN a bed sheet?"**

"**I wouldn't be sitting on the floor in a corridor if the bed sheet wasn't stuck in this STUPID DOOR THAT ONLY OPENS ONE WAY!!"**

**I kicked the door and they stepped back...**

"**Whoa... chill there Will! I was only asking!"**

"**I'm sorry... Rach sent me out"**

"**Why?"**

"**I don't know! I just woke up she was screaming at me called me a pervert and told me to get out!"**

"**Why would she call you a pervert?"**

"**I don't know!! We... we were naked..."**

**She gasped and Jack smirked**

"**You took advantage of her when she was drunk!! WILL!!"**

"**I DON'T REMEMBER!!"**

**Rk sighed and smiled**

"**I suppose it really doesn't matter though. It's not as if it was you're first time together..."**

**I looked away**

"**OH!! NO WAY!!! But... but the time in the flat and the 'shop' and the bike sheds and the..."**

"**Rk stop! We were just... you know but nothing further..."**

**Jack smirked again and then put on a stern look...**

"**Oh, laddy... not only did ye take advantage of ye lass when she was drunk..."**

**Rk coughed**

"...**But it was your first time together... And I'm guessing yours"**

"**It wasn't mine!!"**

"**Yea... Well I know now why ye did it when Rach was drunk... She'd 'ad te be to 'ave you on yer first time..."**

"**SHUT UP!!!"**

"... **An I suppose Liz wouldn't 'ave yer either..."**

**Rk was giggling... I didn't want to hurt Jack so I tugged on the bed sheet again to try and get away**

**Jess came walking up the hall... great just what I need... more people to laugh at me!**

"**What you doing?"**

"**Trying to free myself from this madness!!"**

**Rk started to show Jess the ring and explain everything to her... Which Jack got involved and then they started shouting again...**

"**AND YOU SUPPOSE I WANT TO BE MARRIED YET?!"**

"**YE THINK I WANT TO BE MARRIED TE YE!!!"**

"... **That was hurtful..."**

"**Oh for Gods sake!!"**

**Jess started tugging on the sheet with me**

"**Why don't you just call Rach to free you?"**

"**Because she's mad enough already and I'm guessing she's heard you lot screaming and even more annoyed so she'll probably just open up the door take the sheet in with her and leave me out here naked!!!"**

**Jess stopped tugging and tilted her head. Then banged on the door**

"**RACH!!! OPEN UP WILL'S STUCK!!!"**

"**SHHHH!!! Get away from the door!!"**

**I moved her to one side...**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"**

"**OH! RACH!!!! LET ME IN!!!!! LET ME IN!!!"**

**I banged on the door... **

"**Move out the way..."**

**Rk stepped back and I banged my side up the door... I looked down at my shoulder...**

"**OUCH!!!"**

"**Move laddy..."**

**Jack did the same and bounced off...**

"**BLOODY 'ELL!!...Lad do it together.."**

**I had to get a run up to make an impact... but the sheet only let me go so far... their my friends I shouldn't be embarrassed!**

**I dropped the sheet (A:N: .x.faints.x.) took a step back, Jack wouldn't look at me...**

**"Ready?... Go!!"**

**We both did a run up ****and hit the door with all our force, it opened and we fell in Jack ontop of me**

**Rach was sitting on the bed and looked at me open mouthed..**

**"Er... Jack pass my sheet..."**

**He covered his eyes and fumbled for my hand,**** I pulled the sheet around me and went and knelt in front of Rach. She was crying...**

"**Rach? Talk to me are you ok?!"**

**She looked up and glared at Jack**

"**This is all you're fault"**

**He raised his hands**

"**OI! I DIDN' TOUGH YE IT WAS 'IM!!"**

**He pointed at me **

"**NO! YOU BROUGHT US HERE DIDN'T YOU!!"**

**Rk sat next to Rach who was also wrapped in a bed sheet.**

"**I think your little shock with Will this morning has messed up your head"**

**She looked down at me**

"**Just look outside"**

**I stood up and walked towards the balcony. Opened the shutters and walked out... The strong wind went through my hair (A:N: .x. does wella advert hair flick .x.) and whipped at the sheet. **

"**Oh Jack what have you done?"**

"**NOTHING!!!"**

**I heard Rk stand up off the bed**

"**What's happening?!"**

**Everything was wooden and there was only sea for miles around, with no land in sight... I breathed in deep the sea breeze and smiled... Home...**

"**WE'RE ON HIS HELL SHIP!!"**

**Rach yelled out.**

"**What? But Jack couldn't have..."**

**I turned away from the sea view and looked at Jack**

"**We're back..."**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**TA DAR!!! Bet your bottom dollar you weren't expecting that!! Don't you just love things that are so unexpected they're expected? No idea what I'm saying? Don't worry... you're not the only one...**

**Well ahem... **

**WHAT WILL JACK THINK OF BEING BACK?!**

**WILL RK AND JACK LIVE HAPPILIY EVER AFTER?!**

**WILL, WILL STAY IN HIS BED SHEET?... I hope so...**

**Lol... find out soon!!**

**REVIEW!!!! **


	16. Not my home, KILL HIM!, Taste nice?

**BACK!! Just Got back form a VERY nasty shift at work... God evil old men... How the hell was I suppose to know he said Cod and Chips not Cone of Chips when he was chewing something I'm not quite sure he should have been?!**

**Ok this would have been up about two hours earlier... but my boyfriend decided to sit on a stupid unsafe computer chair and made it collapse on his ankle... so I've been sat in A & E for a while... stupid chair... and it has nothing at all to do with the fact I was sitting on his lap at all!**

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Lol. You'll find out if they did or didn't in this chapter!**

**Gbmarie:--- Lol. You're welcome... I had some nice images going around my head too.**

**ElvenSailorGirl:--- Lol like the little self promotion thing there. Yea my story is just my random brain... and sometimes experiences me or my friends have done... so yea mental.**

**PinkRoseB:--- Lol I love Rk and Jack arguing. :o I think I have another physic! I wanted so badly to do something with jess and him! Do you think I should? Oh yea... ... **

**Naoko Tasaki:--- You'll find out now!**

**Chantal J:--- Lol I wish I could leave Will in his bedsheet!**

**Zeldagr1436:--- Yup not sure if they like it though!**

**Jamie Leigh:--- Yup crazy and proud!**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- :O Pics of Will without his clothes?!... I have a few of Orli in a hot tub but they're under lock and key...**

**Captainjack:--- Lol... ooo I get it. See I'm slow too. We're just mental all the time so people generally try to avoid us... they never do of course.**

**Lonaargh:--- Lol. I'm going to try and make them 'bump' into Norrington... And about Jack... I'll see what I can do...**

**LadyGlory:--- Lol we don't play volley ball here its netball... or rounders... snore... I don't get on well with physical activities I have no upper or lower body strength and I'm just lazy...**

**Book-addict:--- Lol yup their on the pearl! I was thinking about leaving Liz back in England. Jess will be back in all her singing glory soon! Lol. Wouldn't be right without Jess singing would it?**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Well... If youre sign is made out of cardboard you should laminate it cause we REALLY don't want to get it soggy! Plus then you can us it as a doodle pad... thing cause you just wipe it off after woods.**

**Carn:--- Lol. I want him to stay in the sheet... Ah see that's the beauty of friends can send them to do stuff when you can't be arsed!**

**SerpentsDaughter:--- Yup I want Will and his luscious sheet to stay with me... lol.**

**Evil Duckie of the BlackLagoon :--- Lol. Will get Jack and Rk loving really soon! Plus! Jess gets a 'friend'!**

**Pirate-Rose:--- See! I knew you loved me too much to slap me! Plus! I know you wouldn't be bothered to pack you're case fly all the way down here slap me then go all the way back! :o Will is not a girly man!!! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!! .x.Glares evily.x. See... I can give a nasty one back! You knew it was coming because our minds are beginning to link into one!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Lol Its quite funny you should sing that song... whats the next line? Opps should stop telling the story! Lol I was drunk I can't help it! So sue me! Lol see you soon!!**

**Padfoot7085:--- Really oh cool I'll check it out!!**

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- Lol. We're not allowed to go on on our Internet at school... evil thing. **

**Katiiey:--- Lol. Lucky bugger!! I want to go on the pearl... not fair lol. **

**JackSparrowsBlackPearl:--- Lol thank you! **

**Disclaimer:--- .x.Puts loads of chips on a plate.x. I'm so sorry Will... I totally forgot to tell you're babysitter she needed to stay for two weeks not one... I don't own the characters only mine and the plot!! Oh! And the du du duuuuuh... The Lump!!**

**Not my home, KILL HIM!, Taste nice?**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

"**We're back?"**

**Jacks eyes were wide with excitement... **

**I nodded.**

"**On me ship?"**

"**Yes!"**

**Jack smiled and waved his hands about... then ran out the door slamming it behind him.**

**I looked back out the balcony and saw Gibbs going past below**

"**Gibbs!"**

**He looked up then smiled**

"**Alrigh' mate?"**

"**GIBBS?!"**

**Jess ran out onto the balcony and started to bounce up and down in her dressing gown, then ran out the door and slammed it like Jack**

**Rk stood up**

"**I better make sure she doesn't jump on him..."**

**She smiled at Rach then walked out I looked down and saw Gibbs turn to see Jess running after him... then ran himself, Jess not far behind calling him.**

**I laughed to myself**

"**You're glad you're back?"**

"**Of course I am Rach, this ship has always seemed like my home after my rough time with Elizabeth. This was my fathers home too.. until he was.."**

**Rach nodded and walked towards the door dragging a good two foot of bed sheet behind her, she turned back to me**

"**So, did you wish us back?"**

"**No, I wouldn't do that without telling you"**

"**I want to go back Will"**

"**You haven't even stepped outside! You might like it!"**

**She shook her head**

"**I'm a city girl Will, I live for shopping, want to finish school and get a good job to pay off all my shopping debts! I can't live here, I'll go crazy"**

"**You don't know that yet! Just try it!"**

"**I refuse to call this my home Will. I won't stay here."**

"**Just try it Rach! You might like it! You never know you could love it more then me!"**

**She looked down and smoothed the bed sheet then back up to me**

"**I'll try it. I won't like it, I won't love it and I will go back."**

**I nodded**

"**I respect that..."**

"**I'll miss you.."**

**I looked at her questioningly **

"**What?"**

"**I'll miss you, when I go back"**

**She laughed at my expression**

"**Do you really think you'll be able to go back once you taste freedom again? Back in England you'll have to get a job to survive, I couldn't bare to see you like that Will"**

**She went to leave**

"**Wait! Rach, I'll go back if you do... I swear I will!"**

**She smiled and nodded then left.**

**You liar... I told myself. I know myself I will never be able to go back. There's only one option left... I have to make Rach love this life just as much as me.**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**I'll get that Jack I will!! I know this somehow boils down to him! **

**I walked up onto the deck and shielded my eyes from the bright sunlight. I walked up to the helm where I saw Jack smiling from ear to ear.**

"**Jack!"**

**He jumped**

"**What yer shouting fer?! Be calm... chill!"**

"**What did you do!"**

"**I bloody jumped! Ye scared me half te death!"**

"**Not that you fool! What did you do Jack to get us here?!"**

"**Nothing!"**

**He raised his hands**

"**I know you did... you're really bad at lying!"**

"**I ay! I'm te best at it!"**

"**No you're not... you fling you're arms about even worse then you do normally and you're eye twitches!"**

**He raised his hand to his eye**

"**I'm not lyin!"**

"**It's the other eye!"**

**I threw my hands up and screamed**

"**Tell me... Please Jack"**

**He quirked an eyebrow... And scratched his head**

"**Fine... I did it! I wished us back this mornin'..ERUGH!!"**

**I thumped him in the gut**

"**I KNEW IT!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!"**

**He raised his hands to cover himself**

"**IT WAS RK'S FAULT! SHE WAS YELLIN AT ME BOUT US GETTING MARRIED..."**

"**Married?!"**

"...**AN I SAID I WISHED WE WERE BACK 'OME SO IT COULD GET AWAY FROM YE!..."**

**I covered my face with my hands**

"**..An I think she likes it here!"**

**Gibbs ran past followed by Jess**

"...**An so does she! N I know Will loves it 'ere... It's jest you who needs to adjust!"**

"**I won't adjust! I don't like it! I have a fear of water! Plus I can't deal with smelly people!!"**

"**You'll learn..."**

**I grabbed his shirt and pulled him so our faces were almost touching**

"**If I don't and I have to go back without Will... I'll take you back instead!"**

**His eyes widened... **

"**You'll learn! I swear!"**

**I let him go**

"**So... where are we going?"**

"**Nearest port fer supplies, we need to eat ye know.. an drink!"**

"**Nearest port?.. That wouldn't be..."**

"**LAND AHOY!!"**

"**...Jack?...Is it? Jack! We're not going to..."**

"**TORTUAGA LADS!! GET READY TO TIE US UP!!"**

"...**Oh my God... Jack! I'm in a bed sheet!!"**

"**Well stay on 'ere!"**

"**Alone?! I think I'm safer with you lot!"**

"**Well come on then!"**

**I followed him off the ship onto the port, Will pulled my arm**

"**You ok?"**

"**Yea... Jack brought us back"**

"**I figured, try to like it Rach, please"**

**I smiled at him**

"**Of course I'll try! Just I don't think I'll like where we are..."**

"**Oh! You don't have to like it here! I don't think anyone does" **

****

**"Except Jack" **

****

**"Come on we need Ru... I mean supplies!" **

**.x. In the Tavern .x.**

"'**AN THEN! I GOT THIS 'UN 'ERE 'CUS I FERGOT WHERE TE GO!"**

**The guy covered in tattoo's was now trying to read his tattoo upside down to Rk and Jess... **

"**Oh cool!... See I want a tattoo... just about here... of a bunny rabbit!!"**

"**WELL I CAN DO THA EASY FER YA! HARDLY FEEL IT... I'LL GIVE YA A STICK TE BITE DOWN ON AN ALL!"**

**Jess seemed eager and went to follow the man... I pulled her down.**

"**Jess, maybe you should get one off a guy who isn't drunk.. unless you want a deformed snake"**

"**Snake? I wanted a bunny rabbit!"**

"**Exactly"**

**Jess sat there trying to figure out what I had said.. Jack flopped down the more tankards full of rum and offered them around the table... Jess, Rk and himself only taking them.. **

"**Awww... Come on Luv's! 'Av sum!"**

"**No thank you."**

"**Fine! More fer me!"**

**Will and I were still sitting in bed sheets... Jack not letting us go back to change or letting us go buy some with his 'supply' money which he was now gladly buying countless rounds of rum with.**

"**Jack when are we going back to the ship?"**

"**Soon..."**

**.x. 5 Hours Later .x.**

"**Jack! Can we go now?!"**

"**Yeth! Fine!! Leth go!!"**

**He staggered up, knocking a few stools over as he staggered towards the door.**

**He and Rk we're leaning on each other.. Somehow managing to keep themselves perfectly balanced on each other to walk down the dirty road.**

**They stopped suddenly and looked at us**

"**Can me n Jacky stay fer a while? Pweeeeeeeze?!"**

"**Fine, He'll remember how to get home won't he?"**

**I looked at Will, he nodded**

**Rk and Jack staggered off**

**Jess leaned on my arm to keep her balance**

**We walked up the wooden bridge between the ship and the port. **

"**Ok, night Jess..."**

"**Nighties!"**

**She started to go down the stairs**

"**Which is my room?... Oh OH NEVER MIND!"**

"**Hm... beautiful isn't it?"**

**I turned to look at what Will was looking at... I looked round, nothing**

"**There's nothing there Will"**

"**Exactly! How many times could you stand outside in England and hear nothing and see nothing but stars?"**

"**Hmm... True"**

**He put his arm around me and cuddled me to him. Looking out to the sea. I Kind of like it... **

"**So... Convinced yet?"**

**Will looked at me hopefully**

"**Not quite"**

**His face dropped**

"**But, I'm almost convinced..."**

**He smiled.**

"**What will convince you?... Oh! I know! How about a swim?!"**

"**NO!! I hate water!"**

"**Oh..."**

**I pulled on his arm**

"**I'm tired... lets go inside"**

**.x. The next day .x.**

"**Raaaaach?"**

"**Yesss Jesss?"**

"**How come you're holding you're nose?"**

"**Ermmm Becaussse I smell somefin nasssty!"**

"**Dinners ready!!"**

**We were sitting around a little wooden table below deck waiting for our food. Gibbs had cooked it and was now handing it around the crews table which was over the other side. **

"**I think it smells nice!"**

**I raised my eyebrows... It really stank. **

**Jack swaggered in, he took a place at our table and sniffed the air.**

"**Hmmm Tha' smells nice!"**

**Gibbs came over holding bowls and placed them in front of us. He stood waiting for our reaction on his food.**

**I looked down at my bowl... it was green and had black bits in it... and it wasn't soup, it was lumpy and thick.**

**I poked it with my spoon.**

"**Er, Gibbs what is it?"**

"**Cabbage soup"**

"**Soup? But it lumpy.."**

"**Tha's ye bread!"**

**I poked the lump... The bread must have soaked up all the liquid... **

"**So... do I need a spoon?"**

**He passed me a knife and fork.**

**I looked round the table to see Jack happily munching the... lump. Jack looked up at me and motioned to try it... I smelled it and coughed...**

"**Well I know what that nast... I mean that nice smell was earlier!" **

****

**"But you said it smelt nastAHHHH!!" **

****

**Jess rubbed her shin and I glared at her**

"**Go on Rach, try it... It's better then it looks and smells"**

"**I doubt that" I mumbled **

**I poked the lump and broke a bit off onto my fork... I put it near my mouth...**

"**Oh I can't!!"**

**I dropped the fork**

"**I'll try it!"**

**Jess put her fork in her mouth... chewed... and smiled**

"**Nice!"**

**She shoved more in her mouth. I picked up my fork again and slowly placed it in my mouth... the taste tingled my tongue and tasted even worse then it smelt.**

"**It's... Erugh... Love...r...ly!..."**

**I tried to smile...**

"**Oh I can't! I'M GONNA HURL!!!"**

**I threw my fork away and ran off.**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**Rach threw her fork away and legged it off... No way am I putting that in my mouth!**

**I looked to my right to see Jess licking the remains off her plate. Freak.**

**Gibbs had stormed off not at all impressed of Rach's reaction to his food... Mumbling something about 'Posh nosh'. **

**Will came in and sat down and picked up his fork. **

"**Where's Rach?"**

"**Probably trying to find a toilet..."**

**He sighed and started to eat**

"**You going to eat that?"**

**I pushed the bowl over to Jess and walked above deck.**

**I looked around and saw Rach leaning over the side.**

"**You ok?"**

"**Not as bad as it looks my arse!!"**

**She leaned back over.**

**I laughed. **

"**Did you eat it?"**

"**No way... Jess ate hers, and mine"**

"**She'll eat anything... She had no taste"**

**Rach leaned back over then Will walked over to us**

"**You ate that... that stuff already?!"**

"**Yes, I'm used to it. Swallow without it touching your tongue and don't breathe in!"**

"**Thanks... I'll remember that. I'm going to see if their and sweets on here"**

**Will pulled Rach's hair out her face. And I left them.**

**.x. Two weeks later .x.**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

**I woke to an empty space beside me... I sighed; it's been like this for the past week. Rach is sick all the time; mostly mornings. **

"**Rach?"**

**I walked over to the bathroom and knocked the door**

"**I'm... in here..."**

"**I know... you sick again?"**

"**Yea..."**

"**Gibbs' food isn't up to standard these days, I'll tell Jack we have to pick up some new supplies"**

"**Yea sure... get Rk... Please"**

"**Ok, But you know she won't be up yet"**

"**I know... wake her... up!"**

"**Ok, hold on"**

**I walked out and knocked on Rk's and Jacks room**

"**Rk?... Rk... Rk... RK!!"**

"**What?..."**

"**Rach is sick..."**

"**I know..."**

"**Again.."**

"**No surprise there..."**

"**Rk! She wants you"**

"**Mmm... Later"**

"**Rk!"**

"**RK! NOW!!"**

**I kicked the door for emphasis **

"**Laddy stop it!!"**

"**I'll stop if you send Rk out!"**

"...**Get out luv" **

****

**"Huh?" **

****

**"I need my sleep get out!" **

****

**I heard a bang... I guess Jack had pushed Rk out of the bed. I heard her mumble and curse so ****I went back to mine and Rach's cabin and sat on the bed.**

**The door slammed open and Rk stood in the doorway with sticking up hair and half closed eyes.**

"**Are you ok?"**

"**Pfft!"**

**She dragged her feet in and banged on the door**

"**Rk?"**

"**Hmm..."**

**Rk wasn't even attempting to talk**

**"Rk?" **

****

**"Hmmmp"**

"**Come in...please" **

****

**"Hmmpf hm mmmpf?" **

"**Fine... sit outside, get out Will!"**

"**What? But!"**

"**Out!"**

"**But I want to..."**

**Rk pointed to the door**

"**Hmm!!!"**

"**Fine!!"**

**.x. 20 Minutes Later .x.**

**I was pacing up and down about the deck when Rk came back out.**

**I ran in front of her**

"**What did Rach say?!"**

"**Jesus! You're nosey!"**

"**I want to know! Is it about leaving?!"**

"**What? No!.. I mean yes!"**

"**Liar, then what's it about then?"**

**Rk took a deep breath**

"**I am not at liberty to discuss or answer any questions about Rach or her condition"**

"**Condition?! What condition?!"**

"**Shit...Oh yea... And I have the right to remain silent"**

**She walked off**

"**Rk please... I need to know"**

"**She's fine!!"**

"**Then what's wrong!"**

"**I can't tell you... She made me promise!"**

"**I have the right to know!"**

"**I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU! God you're so stubborn!"**

"**Rk, I kept you're secret about Jack and Chris"**

"**BARELY!! You told Rach!"**

"**See! So you can tell me!"**

"... **That was sneaky..."**

"**So you're going to tell me?"**

"...**No"**

"**But she won't tell me!"**

"**She's got no choice but to!"**

**I stopped still**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**She can't keep this from you Will, even if she wanted to, you'd find out soon enough!"**

**Jack and Jess appeared**

"**Wha's goin' on lad?"**

"**Rk... Please tell me"**

"**She has to tell you Will"**

"**She's right Will..."**

**I turned to see a pale Rach in Jess' bathrobe **

"**I need to go home Will"**

"**No Rach... WE are home! Please you have to stay!"**

"**Will, this isn't my home! I need my family!"**

"**I'm your family... all of us are"**

"**It's not my home!!"**

"**IT'S MINE!!"**

"**We have to go Will!"**

"**Why do I have to go?!"**

**Rk's jaw dropped**

"**Will are you saying you'd stop... without Rach?... If you don't go Will you'll regret it forever..."**

"**WHY? JUST BECAUSE RACH DOESN'T LIKE IT?!"**

"**WILL!!!"**

**I looked at Rach**

"**Will, I will not raise a child here!"**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

****

**MUWAHAHAHAHAHA weren't expecting that were you?! I love my randomness!! **

****

**REVIEW OR I'LL TAKE EVEN LONGER TO UNPDATE!!**


	17. Stuck, DUH!, I LOVE HIM!

**BACK!!! I'm quickly typing this 'cause I got work in oh... an hour. Lol.**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Lol. Yay you liked my idea! Ok here's the chapter so you can see Will's reaction! **

**SerpentaDaughter:---Lol. I love saying that.**

**Naoko tasaki:--- Well aren't you clever! My friends didn't get it... Even after the last line. I LOVE MY RANDOMNESS! **

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Lol. I get like that tin movies... so many hints yet I still don't get the plot.**

**Chantal J:--- Thanks!**

**Gbmarie:--- Lol! I'm glad I made it worth the wait. I made it long enough I think though... 18 pages on word! **

**Padfoot7085:--- Lol I'm typing as quick as I can! I'll make sure this is up within the night!**

**PinkRoseB:--- Lol. Norrington WILL be in this story there's no way I can let him not be in it! Jack and Rk will be getting matching surprises lol. I hate lumpy food I hate lumpy soup even more so I would have probably thrown up over everyone if I'd have had to eat it... Oh ok this is how my bf broke his ankle... Ahem. We were round his friends house and his mate doesn't have a proper drum chair stool... w.e lol. So he uses this stool with scary wheels that squeak. My bf sat on it, I sat on his lap and said the famous last words... "Are you sure this can hold our weight?"... "Yea! Sure it can!" Then it collapsed twisting his foot under with mine and his weight... AND SCRATCHING ME IN THE PROCESS! Lol.... I'm so loving... Anyway enjoy the chapter!!**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- OH! I got really jealous for a minute then... Thought you'd managed to get you're hands on some sexy Will pictures! Lol! Someone at school said that to me earlier this week! About Rach should be pregnant sooner. It's scary! I think you have contacts in my school! Lol.**

**Captianjack:--- Lol. You won't have to wait too long to find out!! I won't make you wait long anymore if I can help it.**

**Lonaargh:--- I love babies too but I love them better when their not mine... so I can give them back when they start to cry or start to smell... Lol.**

**Pirate-Rose:--- Lol. Yea people caught on... My sister comes down the stairs on her butt! But she hasn't hurt her foot she just does it! I feel guilty!! Lol. I want to own the lump! The Lump is mine! Ha ha! I love owning The Lump 'cause it is... er... Lumpy? Lol. **

**Disclaimer:--- I don't own PotC or any of their sexy characters! .... KEEP STILL!!! .x. Whacks Will Clone on the head with the comb .x. ... Do you want crooked piggy tails?!... Ahem... I only own my characters the plot AND ... The Tavern.... Hm. Not much more.**

**Stuck!, DUH!, I LOVE HIM!!!**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

"**W-what do you mean?... You mean later in life... don't you?"**

**She looked down at her feet**

"**No, Will, not later... Now"**

**She wouldn't look up at me... I heard Jess and jack gasp. **

**Pregnant? But... This isn't right... It's not meant to be this way! I want to stay here, with Rach. I don't want her to leave.**

**Jess started to jump up and down**

"**I'm going to be an auntie!!"**

**Jack joined in jumping**

"**I'm gonna be an uncle!!"**

**Rach finally looked up and made eye contact with me**

"**I didn't want this... not yet. That's why I want to go back, I can leave you to live you're life... you don't need a child to tie you down. I don't want that for you Will. I want you to stay and be happy... I'll go back tonight"**

**I walked up to her and hugged her**

"**Don't go... please"**

"**I don't want to do this to you Will"**

**She started to cry**

"**Shh, it'll be ok if we can deal with Jess and Jack a child will be no problem!"**

**I pulled her chin up to look at me**

"**Besides... I'm going to be a father!"**

**I smiled at her. She stopped crying and looked shocked**

"**Y-you want this?"**

"**Yes! I wasn't expecting it this early but, yes I do!"**

**She hugged me**

"**So... you'll stay here with me?"**

**She nodded**

"**Jack doesn't know how he got us here so we're stuck anyway"**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**After a while Jess and Jack had stopped jumping up and down. Jack was now giving orders to his men to tie the ship up as we had sailed into Port Royale during the night (A:N: I know it would probably take longer... but work with me here!)**

**I stood by Rach who was looking out at the port**

"**It's a mess... Nothing like the movie!"**

"**Rach, its been a while, maybe the guards are on a long break!"**

"**Still, it's exciting! It's like being in the movie!"**

"**Yea. I can't believe you were the first to get up the duff"**

**Rach screwed here face up**

"**That is such a nasty saying... And it wasn't intentional!"**

"**Well, I always thought it would be Jess!"**

**She nodded**

**Jess was waving us to come onto the dock.**

"**So did I"**

"**Come on you two!!"**

**We headed onto the deck**

"**Come on mumsy!"**

**Rach laughed**

"**Don't call me that again!"**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**Rk and I walked down the dock and I tripped over a box**

"**Shit!"**

**I sat up... **

"**Oh no! I've ripped my jeans!!"**

**Will helped me up and Rk inspected my jeans**

"**It's ok you've got more... right?"**

"**Rach... we were in Barbados... I didn't think I'd need much but bikinis and sarongs!"**

**Jack rubbed his chin**

"**Hmmm... I think it's about time I called in a favour at a tavern..."**

"**Port Royale has taverns?"**

"**Every port has taverns.. jest need te learn where te look, savvy?"**

"...**What do you mean a favour?"**

**.x 20 Minutes Later .x.**

"**I AM BLOODY WELL NOT WEARING THIS... THING!"**

"**It's not that bad!"**

"**I know its not bad... IT'S TERRIBLE!!"**

**Rk and Jess were sitting on the bed in a room above the tavern. Will and Jack walked in, Will's jaw dropped**

"**She can't go out like that! She looks like... well a..."**

**I pulled the cloth**

"**A WHORE!! THAT'S WHAT I LOOK LIKE!"**

**Jess tutted**

"**WELL DUH!! It's a whores dress!"**

"**You didn't say that you're favour was from a whore Jack!"**

**He raised his hands in defence and picked up my ripped jeans**

"**It's either tha' dress or these 'ere ripped jeans!"**

"**I'll take the jeans!"**

**I went to grab them when he ripped them.. he laughed**

"**I mean... Oops"**

"**JACK!"**

"**Well! No time te fuss! Got te get supplies!"**

"**Last time you said supplies I spent 6 hours in a tavern!"**

"**Well ye'll fit in now won't ya in yer new oufit!"**

**He quickly ran out the door.**

"**Fine! Come on! Lets go!"**

**We walked down the shabby little stairs. As we turned the corner to walk into the bar I bumped into someone sending my butt into contact with the floor once again.**

**Will pulled my arm**

"**WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!! She doesn't work here!"**

"**I am completely sorry, accept my apology"**

**Will dusted me off**

"**Yea, yea just be careful next time...you sound familiar"**

**He looked up**

"**NORRINGTON!!"**

**Norrington stood in the centre of the bar in his uniform but without his stupid white wig. He smirked**

"**Ah, Mr. Turner... What brings you back to Port Royale? Elizabeth isn't here if you were looking for her"**

"**I wasn't looking for her!"**

**Jess came from behind me and looked Norrington up and down... He obviously felt uncomfortable under Jess' gaze and shuffled his feet.**

"**OH MY GOD!!! HE'S SEXY!!!"**

"**Ahem.. Yes well... I must be off... I have a dock to..."**

**He looked around**

"**Sparrow wouldn't be with you by any chance would he?"**

**Will lifted his head up**

"**Why? Want to arrest him... again?"**

"**No. I have much better things to do then worry over a silly little pirate"**

**He went to walk away then stopped...**

"**Oh, and do wipe that scowl off you're face Turner. I did you a favour taking you're little Elizabeth off you're hands"**

"**A FAVOUR? Do you have any idea what I went through?!"**

"**No not really, and I don't intend to find out actually"**

**He went towards the door, Will went to go after him**

"**Leave it Will! Ignore him!"**

**Jess ran past me and latched on to Norringtons arm**

"**PLEASE DON'T GO!!"**

"**GET OFF!"**

**He shook his arm to try to release Jess**

"**NO! I NEEEEED YOU!! YOU CAN'T GO!!! WE WE'RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!!"**

"**CEASE WHORE!!"**

**Jess stopped pulling his arm **

"**Whore?! Me?! A WHORE?!!!!"**

"**That's what I said... now release my arm... Whore"**

**.X.BOFF!!.X.**

**Norrington fell to the floor. Jess gasped**

"**Oh no!! What have I done?! It's you're fault!! EVIL FIST!"**

**She held her fist away from her**

"**WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I'VE KILLED MY FUTURE HUSBAND!!"**

"**Jess he's not dead"**

"**Oh"**

"**Just unconscious... Lets go before he wakes up!!"**

"**But... I LOVE HIM!!"**

"**Jess! He's moving!! Come on!! LET GO OF HIS LEG!!!"**

"**NO!! I NEED TO BE HERE WHEN HE WAKES UP!!"**

"**NO... YOU ...DON'T!!"**

**Rk pulled Jess' waist, but Jess was much more stronger then Rk... **

**Norrington sat up**

**Rk let go of Jess, Norrington looked up at Jess... and smiled**

"**Why... you're beautiful... I must know you're name!"**

**Jess let go of his arm and blushed**

"**It's Jessica"**

"**Jessica" Norrington repeated "My dear sweet Jessica" **

**Jack motioned for us to hurry up out the door. Rk and I pulled Jess away from a dazed Norrington.**

"**NO!!! PLEASE!! I NEED MY MAN!"**

**Jess was dragged from the door**

**I saw Norrington run out the door and stop. He looked at Jess who Jack and Rk we're now lifting up to take her away.**

"**WILL I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN... MY LOVE?!"**

**Jess looked at Norrington**

"**I DON'T KNOW!!... OH I KNOW!! WHAT'S YOU'RE MOBILE NUMBER?!"**

"**What my love? I don't... SPARROW!!!"**

**Norrington had caught sight of Jack pulling Jess... His love away**

"**WAIT MY LOVE! I SHALL SAVE YOU FROM THAT PIRATE RAT!!"**

**Norrington ran after us... **

"**HURRY MY SEXY MAN!!"**

"**JESS! WE'RE TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE!!"**

"**I DON'T CARE... I WANT HIM!! HURRY MY DEAR SWEET NOZZERS!!"**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Only short I know... Jess needs a man don't you think? I think Norrington will suit her...Well a dazed one anyway.**

**Will Jess and Norrington ever be reunited?! **

**Will Norrington not be so dazed and realise it's Jess?!**

**REVIEW!!!**


	18. Workshops, Rescue missions, FLYING RUM!

**I'M SORRY!!! I know its been years since I've put up another chapter!! I have a good excuse... I swear! Look, ok first off I couldn't be bothered to type it out because I was tired THEN I had to hand in 3 pieces of coursework within a week of each other THEN I have to think up good excuses not to work AND I went clubbing THEN when I felt like putting up another chapter I lost the flipping fan fiction book which I use to write notes and chapters in!!**

**Yea well... now you know lol! FEEL FOR ME!!!.... I'm hungry and can't go down stairs as I know I will never be able to drag my lazy ass back upstairs to finish this chapter!!... I'm thinking of attempting to go down the stairs on my wheelie chair... but I don't think it would take the strain...**

**Hotdogfish:--- Hm maybe Norrington should become a pirate lol! Nothing against Elizabeth's it's just THAT Elizabeth.**

**Book-addict:--- Lol yup there's gunna be a sprog!! Lol. Love that word... Yea I should leave Elizabeth there.**

**LadyGlory:--- Yup poor us! It gets worse...**

**Carn:--- Lol I kinda like the idea of Rach's baby being called junior... you think Jess and Nozzer's suit eh?**

**Padfoot7085:--- Lol I love writing this kind of story I can't write serious just doesn't happen... OMG!! ANOTHER JESS IN THE WORLD!!! We're being attacked by them... its even worse if their all like this Jess though.**

**PinkRoseB:--- Lol. Not good if you suddenly laugh out during a test... people might think you're that sad you find test's humorous OR that you've finally gone insane. Yea Nozzer's stole Liz off Will and Liz cheated and Will found out drove him to Jack to stay on the ship blahdy blah... Lol. I'm not sure I'm think of baby names but I don't know yet, and I've already decided where the baby will be born... so... You'll have to wait and see!!**

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- OMG my bread blob rules!!! Lol. Jess needs a man and she is weird and ... Jess so Nozzer's seem's to fit lol!**

**Lady Nicole Potter:--- Lol... LOVE THE SIGN!!!! Oh By the way... my school already beat you to the blazer things... lol. Way too much shoulder padding and not flattering at all... yuck. **

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- Lol I love Nozzer's that's what he shall now be called from now on!!**

**Evil Duckie of the Blacklagoon:--- Yup Rach is up the duff Jess and Nozzer's are in 'love' and Nozzer's is going to try and rescue her... how much more fun can it be lol!!**

**Serpentsdaughter:--- Yup who'd have thunk it?! Lol. I like the whole thing of ditzy Jess and snobby nozzers... in a weird way their too wrong that their right!**

**ElvenSailorGirl:--- Hm... Jess does kind of seem like Nozzer's woman type... thing. But I'll ask her... and I'll ask Nozzer's why he was in the tavern too... lol. I'll ask him in a chapter when he finally get's to his 'Love'. **

**Captainjack:--- Lol Nozzer's wouldn't be Nozzer's without his white wig would he?... How will Will react to the bouncing baby? Lol I can't wait to write those chapters!**

**Alori Keski Aldercy:--- lol. We all want sexy Will pictures don't we? Lol... I still say you're either phyic or have some sort of contacts with my fan fiction book... :O that's why it went missing for like 2 weeks!!!**

**Lonaargh:--- Lol Nozzer's in a dress where did you get that from?... actually thinking about it maybe he would look good... LOL!! I'd love to see his face if he had like 12 kids all like him running round... go insane... Omg my mom made me wear all pink frilly stuff like that... so maybe the dress should be pink... yuck. I'm so flattered you read my story at 2 minutes past 8 in a morning!!**

**Pirate-Rose:--- lol! Jess, stalk a nice drunk tavern boy? Do you think she's that normal? Lol what can I say? My sister's realated to me so she's gotta be weird in some way... even if it is going down the stairs on her bum...**

**Sparrow's Renaissance:--- Lol I think Jess and Nozzer's suit... but as for taking her away... all depends on how good Nozzer's rescue plan is... **

**Naoko tasaki:--- Lol I think everyone has at least one friend like Jess who hangs around with them... Sometimes they can be fun but they can also be dangerous lol.**

**Chantal J:--- here's another chapter for you!!!**

**Zeldagr1436:--- Lol you like the Jess and Nozzer's Pairing too? I think I'm going to have to keep them!!**

**Sparrows-sexy-strumpet:--- Lol I think most people have an idea like this story well most insane people anyway... Yep Jess needs a man... Is Nozzer's the man for her?! Lol. **

**Disclaimer:--- THANK YOU TO MEG WHO HELPED ME DO THE FINER DETAILS OF NOZZER'S RESCUE MISSION!!! WOOO! EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD AN INJURED FOOT AND HAD TO GO DOWN THE STAIRS ON HER BUM TO HELP!! NOTHING!!! I don't own any of the characters or anything that appears in PotC I only own... Jess, Rk, Me, the whore dress, the funky sword, the table, THE RUM!, the apple and... there's more but I can't think of them right now!**

**Workshops, rescue missions, flying rum!!**

"**Nozzers?! What the hell Jess?"**

"**I'll call him what I want he doesn't care!!"**

"**He's concussed!!"**

**We were standing outside an alleyway having got rid of Norrington and trying to catch our breath**

"**Ewww smelly alley"**

**Will gasped**

"**Oh! It's my old workshop!!"**

"...**Whoops I meant not smelly"**

"**Doesn't matter. Jack please can we go in!!"**

**Jack pulled Will's sleave**

"**Come on laddy, if te guards come I'm not saving you again!"**

"**I saved you! Besides I'll only be a second"**

**I looked at Jack**

"**It's ok Jack, Will and I will go inside. You, Rk and Jess wait on the ship"**

"**But... te guards... FINE!!!"**

**I smiled**

"**We'll only be a second, promice"**

"**FINE! But if yer too long I'll leave ye... baby n all!"**

**Jack and Rk pulled Jess towards the dock**

"**NOOOOOOOOOOooooooo.... NOZZERS!!"**

**Will opened the door and we walked in**

**It was pretty much the same as in the movie... Just with more swords.**

"**Wow..."**

**I walked around**

"**It's been so long..."**

**He sighed and looked around**

"**Did you miss it a lot?"**

"**Not really, it just brings back memories..."**

**He walked round**

"**Like here is where I made my first sword and... here is where I first met Jack... and here... Here is where I was when I saw Elizabeth before she..."**

**He looked down**

"**Where was she standing when she told you?"**

**Without looking up he pointed to where I was standing**

"**There"**

"**Oh... you really should forget about it"**

"**I know"**

**I walked around again trying to think of something to say, when I saw a sword on the circle rack... thing.**

"**Whoa"**

**I picked it up a looked at it. It was smaller then all the rest, its handle was a dirty silver colour and had a swirling pattern going down the centre of the blade. I followed the pattern with my finger**

"**Will?"**

"**Hm?"**

"**Teach me to sword fight?" **

**He gave me a weird look across the room**

"**Women don't need to fight Rach"**

"**PFFT! It's the 21st century! Well, at least back home it is"**

"**This isn't the time... or the place and besides you'll never need to protect yourself, I'll do it for you!"**

**I put my hands on my hips**

"**But what if I need to fight when you're not around and I need to protect myself AND our baby?!"**

**He tilted his head and frowned**

"**You're stubborn"**

"**No, just practical" **

**He nodded**

"**But I can't teach you now, the ship won't wait, I mean Jack won't wait"**

"**On the ship then"**

"**Ok come on then"**

"**Wait, I'll need a sword"**

**He sighed and walked over to me**

"**Ok pick one"**

"**This one"**

**I held the patterned sword up**

"**Not that one... pick another"**

**I frowned**

"**But this ones pretty"**

"**But its not a beginners sword! Pick another"**

"...**I think you just don't want me to have it..."**

"**I don't want you to have it... pick another"**

"**Why?!"**

"**I don't want to argue! Just pick another one and wrap it in this, come on lets go"**

"**I wasn't trying to argue... I just want this one... But your being evil" **

**He passed me a piece of thick material and went to open the door**

**I stuck my tongue out to his back**

"**I saw that!"**

"**Pfft..."**

**Why doesn't he want me to have it?! Selfish man... Well he told me to pick one and I want this one...**

**I began to wrap the small sword in the material...**

...**I mean he won't find out until we're on the ship and what can he do, throw it over?!**

**I finished wrapping it up and walked outside**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

"**WHERE THE BLOODY 'ELL AM THEY?!... I TOLD EM TE BE QUICK AN WHAT DE THEY DO?!"**

**I sighed**

"**What?"**

"**TEK THEIR BLOODY TIME!!!"**

**I shook my head and put my feet onto the small table that was on deck and leaned back on one of the chairs around it. I took a bite out of an apple and laughed**

"**What the bloody 'ell you laughing at?!"**

"**Nothing... Just Norringtons rescue mission..."**

**Jack and I both exchanged glances and burst out laughing.**

**.x. Flashback .x.**

"**JESSICA!!! MY DEAR SWEET JESSICA!!!"**

"**NOZZER'S MY LOVE SAVE ME FROM THESE DEMONS!!"**

"**DEMON?! I'VE SAVING YOUR ASS HERE!!"**

**I pulled Jess' waist and tried to get her away from the side where Norrington was trying to climb up...**

"**LET GO JESS!!!"**

"**NEVER!!!"**

**I loosed Jess and Jack started pulling her... Then we swapped again... and again... and again...**

"**This is getting king of boring now..."**

**Jack nodded**

...**.OH! I got an idea!!**

"**:O JESS! LOOK! NEKKI WILL!!"**

"**WHERE?!"**

**Jess loosed Norrington and turned round to look for a naked Will... **

"**Will isn't nake..."**

**.X.SPLASH!!.X. **

"...**NOZZERS!!!"**

**Jess leaned over the side and scanned the water crazily...**

"**Oh my God... I lost him!..."**

**She leaned and stretched out her hand to the water**

"**I'll never let go Jack..."**

**Oh my God... trust Jess to use titanic... **

"**You already did luv..."**

**Jess continued to search**

"**Where is he?!"**

"**Don't know and don't car..."**

**She grabbed my by the front of my jacket and started to shake me**

"**YOU BETTER FIND HIM AND HE BETTER STILL BE CONCUSSED!!!"**

"**Sheeeeesh! I'm not finding him! See if he's floating!"**

**Jess leaned back over... and gasped**

"**Found him?"**

"**His... HEAD!!!"**

**I looked over**

"**Jess, it's his stupid wig, no head there!!"**

"**NO! MY BABY! I NEED TO FIND HIM NOW!!!"**

"**There 'e be!!"**

**Jack pointed was standing over the other side of the ship where the dock was, Jess and I sprinted over to him.**

**Sitting on the dock was a soaking wet Norrington...**

"**Is he still concussed or have we cured him?"**

**Jess leaned further over**

"**NOZZERS?!"**

**He looked up, squinted then smiled**

"**JESSICA MY LOVE!!"**

"**Damn it..."**

"**I WILL SAVE YOU!! I WILL COME BACK WITH MY ARMY AND RESCUE YOU, MY LOVE!!"**

"**HURRY!!"**

**He ran off...**

"**Jess!!!"**

**.x. End Flashback .x. **

**We stopped laughing... and Jack continued to pace**

"**WHERE ARE THEY?! ARMY BLOKES COMING BACK AND WE NEED TO GO!!" **

"**Chill!!! They'll be back soon... And you do realise Nozzer's only left about 3 minutes ago?... I can't wait to see Rach's face when we tell her..."**

"**Well we'll never know will we?"**

**I raised an eyebrow and chewed another bite of my apple... What's he raving about now?!**

"**MEN!"**

**I jumped**

"**SET SAIL!!! WE'RE LEAVING!!!"**

**I choked on the apple**

"**WHAT?! YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT?!"**

**I jumped up and followed him up to the mast**

"**They should be on bloody time then shouldn't they?!"**

**I followed him back round the deck**

"**Look who this is coming from!!"**

**He stopped and turned to me. He raised his hands and smirked**

"**Chill!"**

"**YOU SOD!!! DON'T DO THAT!!"**

**I threw the rest of the apple at him as he told the men to stop.**

**.x. 10 Minutes Later .x.**

**Will and Rach walked onto the deck, I jumped up, Will saw me coming and went off to help untie the ship**

"**Take your bloody time! Do you have any idea what its' been like listening to them pair!! Jess has locked herself in her room and Jacks been threatening to leave without you!!"**

"**But he didn't and we're back and there's no guards after us so we can go"**

**Rach smirked and unwrapped something... she held up a beautiful sword**

"**WHOA!!"**

"**Shush! It's from Will's workshop! Don't tell him!"**

"**Er... hasn't he seen it already?"**

"**Yea... well... he saw the wrapped up sword he told me not to take this one."**

"**Why?"**

**She shrugged**

"**I don't know... but it was too pretty to leave behind... so I took it..."**

**She re-wrapped it back up**

"**So how's Jess?"**

"**Pfft! Don't ask... crying again I think..."**

"**We should have left her with him... I mean she seems to really like him... maybe we could have let her stay with Norrington"**

**I gasped**

"**And you never thought to tell me that there?!"**

**.x. That Night .x.**

**We were all sitting round the small wooden table on the deck laughing and joking... even Jess had decided to join us and was laughing, when Will turned to Rach.**

"**Why don't you go get your new sword and Jack can teach you some basics"**

**Jack jumped up from beside me**

"**Aye!"**

"**I-I don't know..."**

"**Oh, come on... I'm sure Jack won't be that hard to beat!"**

"**Aye!... Eh!... I'll go easy on ye Luv!"**

"**Ok... then. I'll go get my sword."**

**Rach stood up and as she passed me she gave me a scared look... Uh oh... Will's going to see the sword! He told her not to take it but does she listen... nooooo, she sees something, she wants it, she takes it!...God, I sound like my mother... Anyway its dark and Will probably won't see the pattern... and its only a piece of metal for God's sake!**

**Rach returned back on deck... she'd turned it around so the pattern was facing away from Will... clever girl. **

**Jack lifted up his sword that seems huge compared to Rach's. **

"**Alright then lassy!!"**

**Will winked at Rach then his eyes dropped to the sword... His smile disappeared**

"...**I told you not to take that sword"**

**I looked at Rach then back to Will**

"**It's just a sword Will!"**

"**Shush Rk"**

**Rach silenced me then turned to Will**

"**It's just a sword Will!"**

"**You disobeyed me!!"**

"**Disobeyed?! I'm not you're wife! And I'm not a flipping... I dunno 17th 18th whatever century woman!!"**

"**The one thing I ask you to do Rach, ONE SIMPLE THING!"**

"**Do NOT shout at me William!!"**

"**I'm not shouting! And even if I did I'd have every right to!!"**

**He breathed in**

**I looked over to Jack who was still standing with his sword up ready... then to Jess who was leaning right back in her chair, not wanting to get involved**

**Rach raised the sword and followed the pattern with her finger**

"**Don't make the mistake of thinking you have rights over me, Will"**

**She flung the sword onto the centre of the table in front of Will, sending our cups and their contents flying everywhere. I covered my face to stop the spray of rum hitting me but Jess just sat there unfazed...**

"**Take you're stupid sword!! Obviously metal seems more closer to you're heart!!"**

**She walked across that deck and went below**

**I looked at Jack who still had his sword up**

"**For God's sake will you put it down!!"**

****

****

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

****

**TAR DAR!!! Lol... You like? Let me know!!**

****

**REVIEW!!!!**

****

**XXXXXXXXX**


	19. Mine!, Tickle fight!, Baby Baby

**I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE THIS LONG!! **

**Ok updating will be a lot more tricky after this chapter... because I've done this story so fast that I've caught up on my writing and as soon as I'm writing up a chapter its being typed... Also during the last month I've had a few problems at school... I've fallen out with a group of girls and they're giving me a hard time... but screw 'em! I WAS fine but I now have a MAJOR problem of that Rk has decided that she doesn't want to talk to me or hang around with me anymore .x.Shrugs.x. so this will make the story even more harder to write. Also a guy who talks to Rk has been calling me dirty names that I won't contaminate you're innocent eye's with... BUT I WILL PREVAIL!!! MUWAH HAHA .... Oh... I only have Jess to help on the stories so this could be interesting... Hm.**

**OK this is a really short chapter but it needs to be in here.... Hm... I see you all giving me the 'what-the-hell?' look... WELL!!! After this chapter I will jump into the future!!! Woooo! Ok it's not that far into the future... just a couple of months... maybe 7 lol! **

**Ok most of you seem to want to know what was the sword?... read on and you'll find out!! AND Nozzer's returns soon with another 'planned' rescue mission... sort of. Lol**

**LadyGlory:--- Mine!! .x.Holds sword.x. it's one of the few things I actually own lol... besides a load of viruses on this tatty comp... .x. Takes geog homework... .x. ... ah so those were the answers! :o Goddess am I? Well then... I need a half naked fanner.... WILL CLONE!!!**

**Lady Nichole Potter:--- lol I usually watch it but I'm too lazy to move at the moment... wooo!!! Elizabitch die!! **

**Spizzy the Headless Spaz:--- I'm glad I'm not the only one who found the flying rum amusing... lol.**

**Hitdogfish:--- Yea I guess so, I wanted like a swirling pattern with like flicks and stuff so yea I think it is lol.**

**Book-addict:--- Yup well I'm kind of in an argument at the moment with 3 of my 'friends' well they can kiss my butt 'cause I'm right and they know it! Lol. Yea Jess was kind of upset and thinking about Nozzer's at that time... so she was gone from all consciousness at that point. **

**Pirate-Rose:--- Msn hates us both... I think you're right... a list of things that do like us would be a lot easier... especially since the last month in school.**

**Naoko tasaki:--- Yea I'm taking way too long but I'm typing and writing as quick as I can lol.**

**Carn:--- Yah... Jess enjoys re-enacting scenes from Titanic.... **

**Serpentsdaughter:--- lol I've heard that Elizabithc joke before! **

**Evil Duckie of the Blacklagoon:--- lol I can imagine Nozzer's trying to rescue Jess with James Bond music in the background... or mission impossible... OR Indiana Jones!**

**Alori Kesi Aldercy:--- Lol I still say you stole my notebook... it was missing for weeks... even though my room was unusually tidy... I keep telling my mom that it may be a mess but it's a mess where I know where stuff is... usually buried under a pile of clothes...**

**Flying Sparrow:--- Will's possessive 'cause of the sword thing... lol And Jack's so slow 'cause he's been round Jess too long! **

**LiTtLe SpArRoW:--- lol I really, really want to learn how to sword fight now!!**

**Chantal J:--- Argh! Coursework shall die! I've been trying to start my Maths work for 2 weeks and I've only just manage to pluck up the courage to look at it... then left it on the floor.**

**Captainjack:--- I WANT A SWORD!!! Lol... you can take Will I got Will Clone lol... he needs an upgrade though... starting to make weird buzzing noises**

**Lonaargh:---- Lol! That's true! Tell a girl the swords ugly she'd drop it in a second!.... Well maybe not all... I would I have to have everyone liking something before I even think of buying it!**

**Disclaimer:--- NOTHING!!! All I own is my characters... and the flipping sword.**

**Mine!!, Tickle fight!, Baby, baby.**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**Rach stormed below deck... I looked around at the rum all over a pining Jess and sighed**

"**Well... that went well"**

**Will glared at me**

"**DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! YOU'RE THE ONE BEING SO DAMN POSSESSIVE OVER A STUPID MUFF MPPFF!!!"**

**Jess removed her hand from my mouth...**

"**Please stop shouting!! I'm thinking..."**

"... **there's a first for everything then"**

"**Shut up... I'm thinking about my Norrington"**

"**Ahem... yea... a man that can't even climb onto a ship..."**

"**He tried to save me..."**

"**And didn't he so well!! Oh my! Look! You're still here!!"**

**Jess glared at me as well**

"**Hey! What is it with glaring around here!"**

"**He WOULD have saved me if it wasn't for you!!..."**

**She looked at Jack**

"...**AND YOU!!"**

**He raised his hands in defence**

"**Eh! I wanted 'im off me ship!!"**

**Jess folded her arms...**

"**It was her fault anyway..."**

**I looked at Will**

"**Oh my God are we back on that again?!"**

"**Well it was!! If she hadn't have taken it..."**

"**It's RACH! Does she ever listen to a word people say?!"**

**Will looked away; I turned and looked over to Jess who was making patterns with her finger in the spilt rum.**

"...**I'd have listened"**

"**It's just that sword means a lot to me"**

"**More then ye lass?"**

**I looked up at Jack**

"**What did you just say?!"**

**He ignored me and looked back to Will**

"**You should know why it means a lot to me Jack!"**

"**Hey?! Why?!!"**

**They ignored me**

"**It's a sword mate... a sword that ain't 'aving yer kid!"**

**I looked up in disbelief at Jack**

"**Oi! Where did that come from?! You reading that off something?!"**

"...**It won't luv ye and it won't comfort ye!"**

"**You think I should go and talk to her?"**

**Jack shrugged... well his agony aunt career just disappeared, time for me to get mine back!**

"**I think you should leave it a while, Will. You'll probably make her feel worse if you go in now. Leave it until the morning... it's been a long and..."**

**I looked at Jess who was messing with the sword**

"...**And a weird day"**

**He nodded and stood up and began to walk to the other side of the deck**

**Jess picked up the sword and started swinging it about**

"**I guess this is mine then... do you think I could have 'Nozzer's' engraved on it there?"**

**Will hurried back and snatched the sword out of Jess' hands**

"**Awww! Meainie... how am I supposed to engrave his name into a sword now?!"**

**She looked at Jack**

"**Jaaaaack?!"**

**I stood in front of my 'husband'**

"**No!"**

"**Aww!!"**

**.x. The Next Morning .x.**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

**I woke up in a chair on deck, with the sword on my lap. I picked it up and rolled it up and down my palm... stopping to look at the pattern.**

**It is only metal... it doesn't feel... it doesn't love me... and it isn't having my child... exactly like Jack said.**

**I sighed and began to head below deck, leaving the sword on the chair. I waited outside my cabin door, and then went in.**

**Rach was still in bed, with her back to the door, and me. I sat down on the edge of the bed with my back to her.**

"**Are you awake?"**

"**Ok then... ahem... well, I didn't mean to have a go at you, but you have to understand how much that sword means to me... it's my fathers, Jack found it on the ship when I came back to it... I know I sound stupid trying to leave it in the shop... I mean what good is it in a workshop going rusty when I could have you using it... and then giving it to our child when their old enough..."**

**I turned to look at Rach's sleeping form. I turned back again.**

"**I don't want us to argue anymore... I hate it when you're mad at me... this is stupid... I'm apologizing to you while you're asleep!! I'll have to say this all again when you wake up... that's if you don't throw me out before I get a chance to... not many people can say they've been thrown out of their own room, I can... Twice!"**

**I heard a soft laugh behind me, I jumped round to look at Rach who was still, still...**

**I leaned over her **

"**What the?"**

**She smiled**

"**You've been awake the whole time!!"**

**She opened her eye's and smiled again**

"**You sneaky little..."**

"**Sneaky little what?"**

"...**Pirate"**

**She smiled again**

"**I wonder who I get it from!"**

"**Not me! I don't sneek!.... :O Jack!"**

**She laughed, I started to tickle her**

"**What has Jack been teaching you?"**

**I laughed**

"**No!! S-stop Will!!"**

**I lay down beside her and wrapped my arms around her, she turned to face me.**

"**I'm sorry... for taking the sword"**

"**Don't worry... just forget about it, oh, the swords yours"**

**She smiled**

"**I don't want it now..."**

**I raised an eyebrow**

"**I'm joking! I don't want to fight either"**

**I smiled**

"**Good"**

**She put her head in the nape of my neck. I lay there listening to her deep breaths... then I slowly drifted into a peaceful sleep with my hand resting on her abdomen.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**TAR DAR!!! So... the sword was Will's daddy's!! Awwww... well I thought it was cute!!**

**I need an idea for the sex and name for the sprog!!... Yah that's black country slang for baby.**

**REVIEW!!!**

**XXXXXXXXXXX**


	20. Whoa Jess, Razor Baby! Competition Will?

**Sorry its been so long people!! Just I've been reading Meg (Pirate-Rose)'s story and she is now blackmailing me for this chapter… so yah… I've gotta put it up lol.**

**THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!!!!**

**.X. THROWS CHOCOLATES .X.**

**Disclaimer: NOTHING! I don't even know if I still own myself… Meg has acclaimed rights to me… so I don't even if I own my characters… lol. I don't care THEIR MINE!!!!**

**Wow Jess!, Razor baby!, Competition Will?**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

**.x. Port Royale .x.**

"**COME ON JESS!!"**

"**Gods sake! How long does she need?!"**

**I sighed and leaned on Will's shoulder. We'd been waiting for Jess to come off the ship for half an hour and she still hadn't even come on deck yet! She kept shouting down to us every so often to see if we were still waiting for her.**

"**I'm coming!! ARE YOU STILL THERE?!"**

"**YES!!"**

"**OK! God… only needed one of you to tell me…"**

**She appeared at the top of the wooden plank that lead down to the dock.**

"**Oh… my… God Jess!"**

"**Whoa, luv!"**

**Rk thumped Jack in the chest.**

**"Bloody 'ell! I was only bein' nice!"**

**He rubbed his chest**

**Jess smirked. She was wearing my 'whore' dress but somehow had altered it so that it wasn't as revealing and had a small amount of makeup on… probably mine. Her hair was up in twirls at the back of her head and had little curls coming down in various places.**

**She smiled and did a pose, we laughed.**

"**Yea, still hurry though! We're only docking for you!"**

**She stepped down elegantly and began to walk carefully down the plank. She smirked**

"**See… I'm so naturally gifted at WALKIAHHHHHH!!"**

**She stepped on the hem of her dress and had managed to skid down the plank on her butt. And stop with a bump on the dock floor.**

**I put a hand on my forehead **

"**Smooth Jess, smooth" (A:N: Thanks Meg!!)**

**She jumped up and straightened her dress**

"**I'm ok!"**

**Jack sighed**

"**Why did I agree te teck yer 'ere?!"**

"**Because you love us!"**

**He raised an eyebrow**

"…**I'm not so sure 'nymore"**

**Rk laughed**

"**And you're scared of us!"**

**She pinched his cheek**

"**Aye!!"**

**Will put his hand on Jack's shoulder**

"**Don't worry mate, you know port Royale isn't as fussy about pirates anymore…"**

**I looked around**

"**Ew, it wasn't this dirty before… was it?!"**

"**Nope… nasty or what?"**

**Jack looked around**

"**Gonna be like Tortuga soon!"**

"**No.. they wouldn't let it get that nasty…"**

**Will and Jack we're giving me a weird look**

"…**Would they?…. But it was such a pretty town!"**

"**Yea lass… was. Now us pirates can come and go as we please!"**

**Jack puffed his chest out and Rk raised an eyebrow**

"**Uh huh… yea"**

"**But I'm not a pirate!"**

**Rk snorted**

"**I am! I'm married to one!"**

**I shook my head**

"…**And you're going to give birth to one! So join us…"**

**She waved her arms about**

"**JOOOOOOOOINNNNNN USSSSSSSSSSSSSS"**

"**Stop it!"**

**She laughed**

"**Face it mumsy… you're a pirate, like it or not. We all are!"**

**"Don't call me that name again"**

"**I amcertainly not one!"**

**Jess put her hands on her hips**

"**Well then what are you eh?"**

"**A respectable lady!"**

**Rk and I looked at each other**

"**What? What I say?!"**

"**Nothing, just the longest word you've ever said in you're life!"**

**I nodded**

"**Yea… you usually can't manage anything longer then your name!"**

**Jess looked thoughtful…**

"**What did I say again?"**

"**Respectable"**

**She squinted**

"**11 letters Jess"**

"**Oh yea…"**

**.x. Somewhere in Port Royale .x.**

"**Where is he?!"**

"**Jess… We've been wondering around for almost two hours now… I didn't know this place was so big"**

"**Yea Jess… lets go… you'll get over him!"**

"**No! He's mine!! I knocked him out , I concussed him! He's mine!!"**

**Rk raised her hands**

"**I don't want him!!"**

"**Better not missy!"**

"**Jess… Loose Rk"**

**Jess backed away from Rk and straightened out her dress**

**I pulled Jacks arm**

"**Jack, you got to know at least which street he lives in!"**

"'**Ow am I s'pose te know?!"**

"'**Cause you've been arrested by him and almost hung by him!! You know more then us!!"**

"**I know where he works…"**

**I held Will's hand**

"**See! It's a good job we've got Will with us, isn't it!"**

**Will smiled… obviously really pleased with helping out**

"**Ok, I'll lead the way then!"**

**.x. Somewhere Else in Port Royale .x.**

"**Hmm… Are you sure Will?"**

"**Yes! I know my way around! What happened to holding my hand and being really glad I'm here?!"**

"**It's just… the buildings so…"**

"**Dirty?"**

"**Yea"**

"**Are you sure you're sure Will?"**

"**I DON'T CARE IF HE'S SURE!! WE'RE GOING IN ANYWAY!!"**

**Jess stormed past me and Will and pushed open the huge oak doors.**

"…**Hello?!… NOZZERS?!… BABY?!!"**

**We followed Jess into the building**

"**De ye know 'ow much time we're wastin' in 'ere?!"**

**Rk frowned**

"**Where we're you going anyway?!"**

"…**I was just sayin' IF we were goin' somewhere we'd be late!"**

"**And that would be so unlike you wouldn't it?"**

"**Aye!"**

**I shook my head and looked around the huge foyer which had marble floors and an exquisite wooden staircase on the left wall**

"**Its so beautiful…unlike the outside"**

**Jess walked around**

"**NOZZER BABY?! COME OUT COME OUT WHERE EVER YOU ARE!!"**

"**Norrington isn't here"**

**We all looked to the top of the staircase and saw a man walking down the stairs towards us. He was young, about the same age as Will he had a white wig on but had strands of light brown hair falling out. He was in a uniform like Norrington… well when I last saw him.**

**He walked towards us and raised an eyebrow**

"**Who are you? And what do you want Norrington for?"**

"**I could say te same te yer lad!"**

**He smirked**

"**Ah, Sparrow"**

**Jack sighed**

"**De ye know 'ow many times I get tha'?!… It's CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!!"**

**I pulled Jack away**

"**I'm Rachael, this is Rk, Wi…"**

"**Ah, Turner too?"**

**Jess pushed forward**

"**I'M Jessica!"**

**She curtsied. The man smiled and nodded**

"**So you're what drove him mad then?"**

**Rk laughed**

"**Yea… I'm afraid she has that affect on most people… she seems to think that Nozzers is madly…"**

"**In love with her? He is"**

**Jess stuck her tongue out to Rk**

"**TOLD YOU!!! So… where is my beloved?!"**

"**Out looking for you"**

"**Where?"**

"**Not here"**

"**Not here where?"**

"**He took a ship and left searching for you"**

"**HE DOES LOVE ME!!! I KNEW IT!!"**

**Jess started to jump up and down clinging onto Rk, making her jump involuntarily with her**

"**GEROFF!!"**

**Jack folded his arms**

"**So who ye be then eh?"**

"**Oh, I'm sorry how rude of me… I'm Gillette"**

**Rk laughed and said in a deep voice…**

"**Gillette, the best a man can get!"**

**Jess joined in**

"**And women too!!"**

"**Shush you two! That is so rude!"**

"**OOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (A:N: You know the noise people make when they see people kissing or saying something posh?)**

**I frowned then looked back to Gillette**

"**I should have recognized you"**

**He raised an eyebrow**

"**Oh, have we met before?"**

"**Er… no, I meant from the movi… er, heh, ignore me"**

**He smiled and looked at my stomach **

"**How long left?"**

"**2 months"**

**He smirked**

"**Not long"**

**He smiled at me then looked to Jack**

"**Yours?"**

**I waved my hands**

"**EWWW! No! Please! It's…"**

"**Mine"**

**Will stepped forward. Gillette nodded**

"**Ah I should have known, you wouldn't like Sparrow would you?"**

**He touched my stomach then looked at Will**

"**Move quick don't you Turner?"**

"**We've been together more than a year now"**

**Rk shook her head**

"**Wow, such a long time"**

"**We're happy Rk"**

**Gillette looked down to me**

"**You sure Turner? The lady doesn't look so convinced"**

**Will and Gillette both looked at me**

**I mouthed wordlessly**

"**I… well…"**

**I'm happy its just this baby is way to early for me… I would have liked to wait at least another year or two… But I love Will… and I always will.**

**Will raised an eyebrow**

"**Of course I'm happy Will!"**

**I smiled and took his hand. Gillette smirked and Rk sighed**

"**I'm seriously getting really bored here… Can we go?!"**

"'**Old on luv… Oi, Gillette, aye over 'ere. When did 'e leave?"**

"**Around 5 months ago"**

"**Thank ye we shall be off now"**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

"**W-where leaving?!"**

**Rk pulled Jess' sleeve **

"**Yea Jess, come on"**

"**But he could come back anytime now!"**

"'**E could take months luv, 'e could even be dead!"**

"…**Wait a go Jack"**

**Jess pouted and nodded and headed out the doors.**

**Jack walked out followed by Rk**

"**Thanks for the info' razor baby!"**

**Gillette laughed at Rk**

**Rach squeezed my hand**

"**You coming?"**

**Gillette cleared his throat**

"**Could I just have a private word with young Turner for a second my lady? That is of course if you don't mind?"**

**Rach smiled**

"**Not at all"**

**Gillette smiled at her**

"**I hope we meet again, very soon"**

**She nodded and smiled up to me**

"**Be quick ok?"**

**She walked out the door. I turned to man in front of me and frowned at him**

"**Oh please Turner… no need for that face is there?"**

"**Don't go near her again"**

**He smirked and raised an eyebrow**

"**Who's says I'll need to? She realise what she's got herself into and come to me"**

"**You and I both know she wouldn't do that"**

"**Why's that?"**

"**Because she loves me and she knows I love her and she'll never go near you, not if I can help it"**

"**You had you're chance with Miss Swan, you don't deserve another one"**

**He headed to the staircase.I was seriously considering pulling him over by that stupid wig and punching him,but thought better of it.**

"**Maybe I don't, but I won't let anything take Rach and my child away from me"**

**He turned and smirked at me**

"**We'll see Turner, we'll see"**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**DONE!!!! **

**DEDICATED TO MEG…. Because she decided to blackmail my lazy ass into putting this chapter up! **

**I know you love me… you want my autographs? You want to become me? What? FINE THEN!!! I happen to like my randomness thank you very much… PLUS! This chapter was a very important one, because I needed a character that everyone liked except one character… other then Chris… lol. **

**REVIEW!!!!**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX **


	21. Those Tension Things, BALLS!, BOOM!

**Well hello there! Bet you all missed me! .x.Waits for replies…..x. Yea okay then…**

**This chapter is kinda short… and not much happens… BUT IT NEEDS TO BE HERE! Lol… cause I'm crap at leading one dramatic thing onto another dramatic thing… so this is where these little 'Plot-What-Frigging-Plot!' Chapters come in! Whoo! **

**THANK YOU TO ALL MY WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU! **

**Okay! So… On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: …Like I said before… if I owned them, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction… I'd be in a hot tub with them planning the next movie! But unfortunately… the mouse has that honour… stupid mouse…**

****

**CHAPTER 21!**

**Those tension… things?**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

"**Hmm… it's beautiful isn't it?"**

**I looked out to the setting sun**

**"…"**

**I looked up to Will who was gazing out in front of him… he was standing near me but hadn't put his arm around me, like he usually does. But was staring out, fixated on a cloud…**

"**Will?"**

"**What?"**

"…**What's wrong?"**

**Silence… He carried on staring at the cloud…. I looked over my shoulder to Rk, who was sitting round the little wooden table with Jack and Jess… who was still pouting about not seeing Norrington… Rk shook her head at me and I gave her a stern look. She sighed**

"**Eh, Whelp? What's up your arse!"**

"**Nothing!"**

"**Well bloody answer people then! God! Some people need to get some manners!"**

**He huffed and I hugged him, well as much as a hug I could give with such a huge bump…**

"**Hug me back then!"**

**He looked down at me and sighed**

"**Do you still want to be on here with me?"**

**I looked up shocked**

"**W-what do you mean?"**

"**Well do you still want this sort of life?"**

"**It's a little late to ask me that now Will"**

"**Do you still want to live on the ship with me?… Or… or do you want to go back to… to… well… back to Gillette?"**

**I stopped hugging him and stepped away, he turned to follow me, turning his back to the sunset**

"**Gillette! Why would I want to go to him for?"**

"**Well I don't know… You two seemed all over each other earlier didn't you!"**

"**I was being friendly!"**

"**Pfft! I know friendly… and that was NOT friendly!"**

**I glared him**

"**He is a pompous, arrogant, silly man… a little like you!"**

"**Oh! Fine then! I'm there trying to keep him away from you and our child and now your telling me I'm just like him! Thanks!"**

"**The way your acting is just like him! Your acting like a stupid, cocky git!"**

**He folded his arms**

"**Well you must like them… look at what you've gotten yourself into!"**

"**Hey! Whelp! Don't talk to her like that!"**

**Rk stood up and I pointed to my chest**

"**ME! YOU DID THIS TO ME!… I WAS DRUNK!"**

**He turned his back to me and looked back out to the sunset… I'm not stopping there! Does he think he can blame THIS on me!**

"**What did I do Will? I was being friendly. If anything HE was coming onto ME!"**

**He still ignored me and Jack started to stand up and give us weird looks**

"**Well this beats Jim Rummy…"**

"**And when he came on to me did I go over and start being all touchy feely? No.. I stood by you!"**

"**You let him touch you…" **

"**Aye I saw tha'…"**

"**What am I suppose to do? Hit him in the face? Deck him! In case you hadn't noticed I'm not the most agile person at this moment in time!"**

"**Aye… she ain't… Got tha' big… bulge"**

**Jess shoved him**

"**Jack shush! Let them fight it out!"**

"**Well she 'as! Tha' big… thing… Bump.."**

**I ignored them and looked back at Will's back**

"…**And you didn't do anything either. I'm not used to things around here, I don't know what things are acceptable or not… I learn from you! If you don't react how am I suppose to know it's wrong!"**

**I took a deep breath**

"…**Aye…"**

"**Will? Look at me"**

"**I…"**

**He sighed**

"…**I don't feel like looking at you fight now"**

"**Fine"**

**I turned and walked slowly below deck**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

**I watched as Rach walked below deck… well isn't this great?… we've already got a sulking loony… now we've got a lovers tiff!… and I ALWAYS end up in the middle…**

**Will turned to look at us**

"**You know I'm right… don't you?"**

**We exchanged glances… **

"**Er well lad… yer… ehm… Lass?"**

**He looked to Jess**

"**Well! I thought the point brought to attention… about… well… you see!…I …I … I wasn't listening… Rk!"**

**She looked to me… I shook my head at Will**

"**I don't know… But from the angle I was looking from, it seemed like you were over reacting…"**

**His shoulders dropped**

"**Oh great… I did it again… I should have just shut up and hugged her… She's going to hate me now… and you guys…"**

**He sat in the empty seat opposite me… I smirked**

"**Well… I've always hated you so there's no loss there…"**

**He put his chin on one hand**

"**But she… and he!… But… if he hadn't… then I wouldn't have… It's his fault!… Ehm…"**

**He went silent**

"**I was just mad… I didn't mean to be so horrid"**

**I leant back on my chair**

"**Well you should think before you sat things shouldn't you! It's your own fault! You can't just come out with these things you stupid fool! If you do things you should accept the consequences!"**

**Jess prodded me and pointed to Will, he was sitting there with his head in his hands and his shoulders slumped… I felt sorry for him… He has been through a lot. I suppose he WAS just getting a little too over protective over Rach and their baby… Oh man… I am so going to regret this…**

**I sighed and pulled Jess up with me**

"**What? Where are we going!"**

"**You'll see…"**

**I pulled her by her arm below deck and down the corridor**

"**RK! LOOSE ME! LOOSE ME NOW OR I'LL SCREAM!"**

"**Oh shut up!… we're going to Rach's room… Is this it?"**

"**Er… yep"**

**I went in… Rach was sitting on the bed, holding something**

"**Rach?" **

**I sat next to her on the bed**

"**What you got there?"**

"**Picture…"**

**She had a picture from the photo booth when we were getting Jack and Will's passport photo's… she had the one we couldn't use, as it had Will and Jack's heads in it and their arms and legs everywhere… I smiled then looked at her… her eyes were all red and puffy**

"**He gets me so mad sometimes! He wouldn't even look at me Rk"**

**Jess sat down on a chest by the wall**

"**Well… I kind of missed the whole conversation… there was this really cool cloud that looked like a pigeon! And I was watching it fly away and…"**

**I glared her and she shut up.**

"**He's and idiot Rach, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it! He'll realise what he's done, but I think he already knows and… he… he loves you"**

**Rach gasped in shock and Jess almost fell off the chest…**

"**I can't believe your defending him! You heard what he was rattling on about!"**

**Jess readjusted herself back onto the chest**

"**I didn't hear anything of it... but… Rk… you hate him! You said he was a stupid, ignorant, selfish, ugly…"**

**I glared her again**

"**I know! But… and don't think I'm going to be doing this all the time!… But it's not long till… well you know Rach… and he's just getting, kind of protective over you and the kid. He saw Gillette and saw him as a threat… he's trying to make sure no one else gets you" **

"**He knows I won't go to anyone else! He should know better Rk!"**

"**I know he should but he's probably having a blonde day…"**

**I looked over to Jess then back to Rach… Jess cleared her throat**

"… **And I think… he's and idiot and a fool… and kind of ugly… and in my opinion you should have smacked him in his kind of ugly face!… But he still loves you!"**

"**Gee… great help Jess…"**

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

"**Gee… great help Jess…"**

"**He's such and idiot sometimes!"**

"**DUH! He's a man for God's sake!"**

**I leaned up the door carefully so I could listen to their conversation… I hadn't meant it… none of it… I was just so mad at Gillette and I took it out on her. Just like Rk said. It's weird… She's defending me. I would have thought she'd be telling Rach to stay away from me… I can't blame her if she did though.**

"**He's going to come bursting in here any minute and say he's sorry for everything and beg you to forgive him… don't give me that look! I'm not trying to help him at all! I think he's the biggest idiot of all… but I know what he's like… and so do you Rach"**

"…**I can't belive he wouldn't look at me…"**

"**Probably 'cause he was crying!"**

"**Not even when I was shouting at him!"**

**I heard Rk laugh**

"**I'm scared to look at you when you're shouting… so I can't blame him!"**

**Jess laughed**

"**Me too!"**

**It's strange… Rk doesn't like me, I know that… but she's helping Rach to forgive me… **

"**So… if he comes in here now will you forgive him?"**

**I leaned further up the door**

"**I SAID! If he comes in here now will you forgive him?"**

**There was silence in the room…**

**Was she giving me a signal? Does she know I'm out here?… I went to open the door…**

"**Rach? Will you!"**

**I put my ear right up against the door again…**

"**ALRIGH' LADDY!"**

**I jumped around and saw Jack standing behind me, he raised an eyebrow**

"…**Lil' jumpt there ay ye? Well I'd be te… yer got all te Lasses…"**

**I waved my arms around to try and shut him up… but he just carried on…**

"…'**ating yer guts!"**

"**Will?"**

**I stopped as I heard Rach's voice from inside the room… then movement. I leaned up the door again… when my support was suddenly gone and I found myself flying face first into the room's floor…**

"**WHOA!"**

**I heard Jess laugh from on top of the chest I'd just fallen by**

"**UH OH! BUSTED!"**

**.x. Back 5 Seconds... .x.**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

"**Rach?"**

**Rk frowned at me**

"**ALRIGH' LADDY!"**

**I looked behind me to the door**

"…**Lil' jumpy ay ye? Well I'd be te… yer got all te Lasses 'atin yer guts"**

**I looked to Rk and she closed her eyes and shook her head...**

"**Will?"**

**There was silence outside the door again. Rk walked over towards the door. She stood up against the door listening… then stood to the side and flung it open. Will came flying in face first…**

"**WHOA!"**

…**Landing by Jess' feet by the chest. She leaned over the chest to look down at him**

"**UH OH! BUSTED!"**

**Jack stood in the doorway looking innocent. I walked round to where Will was starting to get up**

**Rk glared down at him**

"**Great entrance, Whelp"**

"**Were you listening?"**

**Rk snorted**

"**Well… That's a little obvious Rach"**

**Will stood up fully and nodded**

"**I thought you didn't care? You didn't want to talk to me up on deck… you didn't even want to look at me!"**

"**I was mad… I'm sorry"**

**I folded my arms**

"**And?"**

"**And… I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I'm sorry for that too"**

"**And!"**

"**And…"**

**He mouthed wordlessly then looked upset**

"**And… I don't know what else to say, except I'm sorry"**

"**AND you should think before you say things you OBVIOUSLY don't mean! You shouldn't take your stress out on me!"**

**He nodded quickly. Jess gasped and ran out of the room, shoving Jack out of her way.**

"**I know wha' it is tha's makin' him so evil…"**

**Rk folded her arms and looked at Jack**

"**Go on then Einstein!"**

"'**E's got te much energy tha' needs getting rid o'"**

"**Pfft! That's no excuse! Just run around the ship a couple of times… that should sort it!"**

"**Na' not like tha!… eh… I mean like… Ye know"**

**He raised an eyebrow at Rk. I shook my head knowing what he meant**

"**I don't know what your on about you stupid sod!"**

**He waved his arms around, exasperated**

"**I don't know te bloody word!"**

**Rk snorted again**

"**Well… that's a first"**

"**Eh… it begins with 't'…"**

**I glanced over to Will who was already looking at me… he gave me an uncertain smile…**

**Rk laughed**

"**Jack! I can't spell at the best of times! What makes you think I'm going to help you now!… What's it sound like?"**

"**It I knew wha' it sounded like I'd know te bloody word!"**

"**I'm only trying to help! Next time I won't even bother!"**

"**Next time I won't be needin yer help!"**

**I sighed sick of hearing Rk and Jack squabbling over a word**

"**He means tension"**

"**AYE! THA'S TE WORD!… E's got them sexual tension's tha' need fulfilling!"**

**Will's jaw dropped and Rk laughed and pointed to me**

"**Rach is 8 and a bit months gone Jack!"**

"**Well I can bloody well see tha'!… See… I was thinking.."**

"**Oh great this will be interesting…"**

"**LET ME FINISH!… We'll dock in Tortuga… An' get 'im sorted… them we can get any supplies we'll be needin while we'm there!"**

**Rk raised an eyebrow**

"**No… YOU want to go and get sorted! You weren't going to do it for Will! I know how your mind works you dirty perv!"**

"**MEH! I WAS ONLY TRYIN' TE HELP!… I'll go set course then…"**

**I stood up and put a hand on my hip**

**.x. Will's PoV .x**

"**You will do no such thing Jack! If Will does have those… Well… Those you know what's… he's going to have to… well… Keep them!"**

"**Smooth Rach… Real smooth"**

**Rk turned to Jack**

"**You know you are the ONLY person who could turn that conversation into a sexual one!"**

**He smirked and Jess came running back in holding something… Rk took it off her **

"**What is it Jess?"**

"**A stress ball for Will! For his tension thingy's!"**

**Rk chucked it up and down**

"**Oh cool… Wait, what tensions Jess?"**

**She shrugged**

"**I dunno… I missed what you were talking about… What was it?"**

"**Not telling you"**

"**Fine then! I'll take MY ball back!"**

**She went to snatch it back off Rk but she moved too quick… Jess pouted**

"**But it's MINE!"**

"**Heh! Should be quicker shouldn't you?"**

**Jack cleared his throat**

"**Speakin' o' tensions…"**

**He looked down at Rk… who raised an eyebrow and without looking at him said;**

"**I've got a headache…"**

"**FINE THEN! I'LL GO TE TORTUGA FER MESELF THEN! FORGET 'BOUT TE LAD!"**

"**Pfft as if I care…"**

**Rk carried on chucking the ball up and down**

"**Yer me wife!"**

"**And?… It's not as if I agreed to this whole marriage thing… and until you get me a proper ring I'm not doing anything for you…"**

**She held up her wedding finger… Still with Jack's ring on it, with a scrap of a beer mat on it to make it fit.**

"**I'LL GO REMARRY THEN!"**

"**Fine! I'm sure Gibbs will marry you!"**

**Jack stormed out of the room, Rk leaned out of the door and threw the stress ball in the direction Jack went… She laughed**

"**Ha Ha!… Oh… er… Whoops?"**

**She laughed then ran out the door in the opposite direction Jack went… then Jack run past the door after her. I turned back to Rach who had sat back on the bed.**

**Jess looked around from me to Rach, to me again… She cleared her throat**

"**I've… got to… go… and… er… get my stress ball back!"**

**She left quickly shutting the door behind her. I moved to sit closer to Rach on the bed. She sighed**

"**You know he did that purposely, don't you?"**

"**Who Jack?"**

"**No! Gillette… Did he say something to you after I left?"**

**I nodded**

"**He said I didn't deserve you… and I told him that I wouldn't let anything take it away… and he said 'we'll see'"**

"**See? He placed doubt in your mind!"**

"**What?"**

**She huffed**

"**He said something that made you doubt if something good could become bad, and then you'd be doubting everything thinking that it was all going to turn bad… and stuff… I've confused myself now"**

**I laughed and nodded at what she said… even if I didn't understand it**

"**Nasty little git…"**

"**I know it was a nasty thing for him to do, but you were so stupid to believe him!… But I can't stay mad at you… so I forgive you"**

**I smiled and hugged her**

"**But I swear Will, this is the last time! You HAVE to trust me!… And learn to use your flipping head!"**

"**I know…"**

**We sat there silently and I took her hand…**

"**Will… I've been thinking"**

"**What about?"**

"**Our baby… we need to think of names… we haven't got long left!"**

**I smiled and placed a hand on her huge stomach**

"**Like what?"**

"**Well for a little boy… How about Gillette?"**

"**I looked at her shocked and she laughed**

"**I'm joking!"**

**I sighed in relief… then patted her bump**

"**What about Jack?"**

**She frowned**

"**I'm not calling my son Jack"**

"**He's half mine!"**

"**We don't even know if it's a boy yet!"**

**I smiled smugly**

"**It will be"**

"**How'd you know?"**

"**Well… My grand father was a boy, my father was a boy and I'm a boy"**

**She raised an eyebrow **

"**You have no idea how stupid that sounded…"**

"**I meant erm… It's like a tradition thing… all the first born babies are boy's"**

**Rach looked down at her stomach…**

"**Well I don't care what it is as long as it has ten fingers and ten toes"**

"**How long do you reckon till it's ready?"**

**She shrugged**

"**I don't know… It's ready when it's ready… it could be after 9 months it could be tomorrow I don't know…"**

**I tilted my head**

"**It's still going to be a boy…"**

**.X.BOOM!.X.**

**Rach looked around**

"**What… what was that!"**

**I stood up quickly**

"**It sounded… like a…"**

**I stopped and she tugged on my sleeve**

"**Sounded like what Will!"**

**I looked down at her**

"**It… it sounded like… like a cannon"**

**Jack burst in out of breath**

"**Get on… deck… lad I need… ye… ye 'elp!… We're under attack!"**

**TAR DAR! What ya'll think eh? AmI brilliant at these stupid little chapters that make absolutly no sense. or what?... Yea probably the or what... Lol.**

**I REALLY NEED HELP ON THE SEX AND NAME OF THE ICKLE BABY THAT'LL BE BOUNCING IN REALLY REALLY (You have no idea how really) SOON!**

**I'll try and update as quickly as I can but... I need your opinon on the baby's name and stuff... And if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for chapters or junk tell meh!... .x.Will clone pokes and whispers... .x. Oh yah... plus i have a French oral (i love that word) exam on frinday AND I'M WAITING FOR MEG TO UPDATE FIRST! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**REVIEW! **

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**


	22. CATCH!, PULL, PUSH!

**Hey ya! God been a while since I've updated I know… but did you all miss me? I know you did! Lol. Any how… I've been gone ages! Lol… wow… feels weird typing… O.o …**

**Thanks to all my reviewers who have still been reviewing even though I'd kind of disappeared of the face of the earth for a couple of months… **

**Well a lot has happened since I've last updated… Left school, been to Generation Rock Club 5 times, fell over many times it is unbelievable, had 2 boyfriends… first one was an a-hole jock wannabe… and my latest one is the best one ever… been together 13 weeks today,… Went to a family party got drunk ended up dancing to Michael Jackson's Billy Jean with my uncle Terry… .x.Hides face in shame.x., discovered that booze and stairs should NEVER mix… and also bath tubs should never mix with booze as well but that's a whole other story! …. , ripped my favourite pair of jeans, got attacked by the mangy cat next door, and fell off a log in the forest next to my house! …. Oh ya…. GOT LEFT IN A FOREST FOR 10 HOURS… BY MY OWN FATHER! **

**Well my life has been exciting! Lol. **

**Ahem…. **

**DISCLAIMER:--- Does THIS look like the face of someone who owns the most sexiest people in the world… no, didn't think so… stupid mouse… so I have no choice to put up with owning my Will Clone! I only own MY characters… And MY plot… YES! THERE IS A PLOT SOMEWHERE IN THERE! Believe it or not.**

**Chapter 22! CATCH, PULL and PUSH!**

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

"We're under attack!"

Will quickly ran to the door

"Who is it?"

"I don't know! Jest come an' elp me get te cannon's ready!"

Will went to walk out, turning to look at me

"Stay here ok?"

"But Rk and Jess!"

"I'll send 'em down Lass… Jest stay ere"

I nodded. Will smiled unsurely and left, closing the door behind him.

"Oh God, oh God… OH GOD!"

I walked over to the cupboard and pulled out Will's father's sword… not that I could really do much with it but I wasn't going to not try!… if I cant swing it I'll just chuck it at anyone!

I sat back on the bed, listening to the cannon fire and holding the sword out in front of me.

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

"Jack? JACK!"

I grabbed his shirt as he went rushing past shouting orders to the crew

"Oh! I was looking fer ye!… Get Jess an' go down te Rach's cabin an' stay there!"

I nodded and hugged him… hey… he is my husband after all!

Will threw a piece of rope at Jack's back

"JACK! YOU ASKED ME TO HELP SO HELP ME!"

He loosed me

"Comin' Lad!"

He pointed me to the door then ran to Will… I looked around and saw Jess hanging over the side… where the cannons were hitting the water… they were getting closer

I ran over to her… a big wave of water from a cannon ball hitting the sea splashed up on us.

"WHOA! THAT WAS CLOSE THEN! AIM A LITTLE MORE TO THE LEFT AND YOU'LL BE RIGHT ON TARGET!"

"JESS!"

I grabbed her away from the side

"WHA—RK!"

"We're going below deck to Rach's room"

"BUT! The pretty smoke!"

"From cannons! Now come on!"

.x. Will's PoV .x.

Jack helped me push a cannon into position…

"You don't think they'll catch up do you?"

He shook his head quickly

"We're too quick fer 'em…"

"You don't sound convinced…"

"I'm ay… I knew it was a bad idea sailin through these parts… Jest tie that a lil tighter"

I tugged the knot tighter

"Jack?…"

"Aye?… GIBBS BE CAREFUL WITHTHA! WE'M TRYIN NOT TE GET BLOWN UP REMEMBER!"

"I… I'm worried"

He raised an eyebrow at me

"Not for myself!… But for them"

I nodded over to Rk who was dragging Jess below deck… Jack nodded

"Me te lad… Tha's why we gotta make sure they don't hit us or catch up aint we! So go make yerself useful!"

**.x. Rach's PoV .x.**

I could hear the cannons… lots of them… and they were getting louder… which means they're getting closer!… What if they get close enough to come on board! What if someone gets hurt!… What if someone dies!

I put a hand to my mouth…

What if Will dies! Or Jack or Rk… Or even Jess!… I looked to the sword I'd placed beside me on the bed and picked it up.

Maybe they wont have to come on board… They could just sink us before they get close enough!… I looked down at my huge bump… I can't swim!

I stood up and began to pace around the room holding the sword.

Oh God, what if they do come on board… and I have to fight! I can barely cut my food with a knife let alone use a sword against a man!… I sighed, Guess I'm going to have to shut my eyes and hope I hit something other then myself!

I stopped pacing as I heard footsteps coming down the corridor… I stood to the side of the door, so it would swing open away from me… I held up the sword by my shoulder. The footsteps stopped outside the door… I held my breath and it swung open. I closed my eyes and swung the sword, it connected with something solid…

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I quickly opened my eyes on hearing the high pitched scream… I saw Rk and Jess clinging to each other in the doorway. Rk closed her mouth…

"IT'S A GOOD JOB YOU'VE GOT CRAP AIM!"

I looked to the sword that was embedded in the doorframe…

"Oh my gosh… I though you were someone else off the other ship!"

"I know what you thought! Jeez… You scared the life out of me!"

I tried to breathe normally

"…My heart is beating so fast"

Rk rubbed her face

"YOUS IS!… I've just had a sword swung full force at my head! I saw it fly past my face!… IT SKIMMED MY NOSE!… … Jess… loose me now… Jess!"

She was still clinging to Rk, she hadn't moved and her eyes were still scrunched shut.

"Is she breathing?"

"I don't think so…"

"OH GOD I HIT HER! I've got better aim with my eyes closed!"

I leaned close to her head

"Oh my gosh Rk… look"

I pointed to the side of Jess' head, Rk tried not to laugh

"Is… is that her… Her HAIR!"

I'd only just managed to miss Jess' head with the sword but had caught her already short hair between the doorframe and the sword.

Suddenly a man jumped in the room waving a sword Rk and I clung to each other screaming

"It's ok! It's me!"

"WILL!"

"THAT'S MY SECOND HEART ATTACK IN TEN MINUTES YOU STUPID WHELP!"

"I heard a scream I thought you…"

He caught sight of Jess…

"Well… someone has good aim…"

"I missed…"

He grabbed the handle of the sword and tugged it roughly out of the door frame… Jess' left side of her hair falling with it…

"Oh… Jess I'm so sor-AHHHHHHH!"

A sharp, piercing pain worked its way across my abdomen and I doubled over

"RACH! Are you ok!"

I nodded quickly

"Everything is fi-IIIIIINNNNEEEEE!"

Will grabbed me

"Is it the baby?"

I shook my head

"I hope not!"

"WHELP! 'ELP US UP 'ERE NOW!"

"WAIT JACK!"

"OH YEA! I'LL JEST TELL THE CREW CLIMBIN' ON BOARD TO HANG ON SHALL I!"

Rk grabbed Will's shirt and started shaking him

"YOU LET THEM GET ON BOARD!"

"GO Will I'll be fine I've got Rk here…"

He snatched his shirt out of Rk's grip and backed away slowly

"I'm only up there ok?"

"I can barely feel anything now I'm fine!"

"Ok?"

I nodded and he left hesitantly, closing the door… my false smile disappeared instantly and I started panting

"RK! PAIN!"

"Uh uh… er…. I'll be right back"

She ran to the door

"RK!"

"Jess'll watch you! I'll be right back!"

I looked over to Jess who was still leaning up the doorframe with half her hair missing…

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

I raced up the stairs and saw the men from the other ship trying to climb on but Jacks crew were throwing them off.

"JACK! WHAT I DO!"

I ran over to Jack who was pushing this big ugly guy off

"Eww he's nasty!"

The guy pulled a face at me then Jack shoved him off into the water

"GO BACK DOWN!"

"NO! RACH… THE… THE ER…."

I moved my hands around my stomach area…

"…ITS… HERE!"

"HAVE HER WATERS FALLEN?"

"…What?"

"HAVE HER WATERS… ER… BROKE?"

"I DUNNO I WANST LOOKING!"

"WELL WHEN THEY DO… I THINK THA'S WHEN THE LIL UNS COMING!"

"I ALREADY KNOW ITS COMING!"

"NO… I MEAN… YE KNOW… COMING!" ((So much fun to make Jack say 'coming' lol… what?))

"Oh!… THEN WHAT I DO!"

"CATCH!"

"…It comes out that fast?"

"NO! CATCH!"

I turned and saw a rope from the other ship swing at me, I caught it and Jack grabbed it, cutting it off and throwing it away

"PULL IT!

I looked around

"PULL WHAT!"

"TE FLIPPIN BABY!"

"OH!"

"YEA NOW GO!"

I ran back down below deck and to the room. When I got to the doorway Jess had started to slowly move and was now standing even more in the way and was now completely blocking the entrance.

"Move Jess!"

"RK! I. AM. IN. SOOO. MUCH. PAIN! AND YOU ARE IN SOOOO MUCH TROUBLE FOR LEAVING ME!"

"I was asking Jack what to do"

Rach looked at me shocked and scared

"JACK!"

I changed the subject

"…And I came back didn't I?"

"MY WATERS BROKE!"

"When?"

"WHEN… YOU… RAN… OFF!"

"Oooooooh…. JESS SHIFT!"

I got sick of trying to dance around her and shoved her into the room instead. Shutting the door behind me when I got in.

"RK! THE THINGS COMING!"

"Pfft… these things take hours!"

"NO I CAN REALLY TELL!"

"Ok Then… Jack said… ehm… er…"

Rach started yelling at me

"OH! I KNOW PULL RACH PULL!"

She death glared me

"Pull!"

"She means push"

"I KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS!"

I looked over to Jess who was messing with her half head of hair

"Oh, now you decide to come alive… Help me then!"

"RK! ARE THE OTHER CREW ON BOARD!"

"…Not yet"

"YET!"

Jess sat at the bottom of the bed by Rach's feet

"Erm, Rk go get some sheets for the baby"

I ran to the cupboard and decided I wanted the bottom sheet in the pile… causing the whole lot to tumble out the cupboard

"YOU PAIR MAY ASWELL GET LOST! CAUSE YOU AINT HELPING ME!"

I frowned and started shoving sheets back into the cupboard, Jess just smiled

"We love you too Rach"

I brought the sheet over to the bed

"Don't be nice to her, she's yelling at you"

"It's how women giving birth are… aggressive"

"LOOK AT YOU PAIR! DOING NOTHING! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO! MAKE IT GO BACK UP! IM NOT READY FOR IT YET!"

"Sure Rach, just push"

"ILL PUSH YOU!"

She tried to kick Jess but failed and carried on yelling… I tired to keep a straight face… I've never saw Rach this evil it was scary… but dead funny!

"WHERE'S THAT ARSEHOLE GONE! EH! RAN OFF! IT'S HIS BLOODY FAULT I'M HERE! HE DID THIS TO ME!… WHEN I GET HIM I'M GUNNA KILL HIM!"

Jess just patted her leg

"You told him to go and help Jack fight the bad guys with the pretty smoke, Rach…"

"WILL YE SHUT 'ER UP I CAN 'EAR 'ER OVER TE BLOODY CANNONS!"

"DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP! THIS HURTS!"

"I DUNNO WHY YE AM KICKIN UP SUCH A FUSS! IT AIN'T THAT PAINFUL!"

…bad move Jack…

"HOW 'BOUT YOU CARRY ROUND AN EXTRA PERSON IN ONE SPOT FOR NEARLY 9 MONTHS, HAVE IT KICK YOU CONSTANTLY, GO THROUGH THE WORST PAIN YOU'VE EVER EXPERIENCED, THEN COME BACK AND SEE ME!"

I raised an eyebrow… she has a point

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Rach grabbed me and yanked me forward to her

"I CANT HAVE IT! IT HURTS!"

I shook my head… I don't know what to do!

Jess grabbed my arm… gasped and pointed to Rach

"A… the… its… but… …a … … Ohhhhhhhhhhh…"

Then fell back off the bottom of the bed and onto the floor

"WHERE'S SHE GONE!"

"I think she's fainted…"

"OH GREAT! SHE'S JUST GONE AND DIED ON THE FLOOR LEAVING ME WITH A BUNCH OF PIRATES TRYING TO BLOW ME UP, A GUY THAT GETS ME PREGNANT AND LEAVES ME, A PIRATE THAT'S A FOOL AND… YOU!"

I glared at Rach

"Do you want even more pain? Just 'cause your giving birth don't mean I won't hit you!"

"JUST SHUT UP AND HELP ME!"

"STOP SCREAMING WOULD BE A GOOD HELP!"

"BUT IT… HURTS!"

"I KNOW BUT YOUR PUTTING ME OFF!"

"WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO SMART ARSE!"

"PUSH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU CAN DO EXCEPT SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"RK!"

Rach scrunched her eyes shut and screamed really, really loud… I closed my eyes

"WHAT PART OF SHUT THE HELL UP DON'T YOU GET!"

"…I'm… not… screaming…"

I opened my eyes, I saw Rach lying there exhausted and could still hear a high pitched squeal from the bed…

"Rach… you've… it's…"

Jess sat up

"A BABY!"

**.x. Will's PoV .x.**

"JACK! WATCH BEHIND YOU!"

Jack turned around and shoved the crew member off the side of the ship.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I looked towards the stairs where Rach's scream were coming from… I wanted to go help her…

"WATCH IT WHELP!"

I ducked out of the way… the crew were now on board and we were doing our best to keep them on the deck and not go below to the girls. There were only about 12 of them left now.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The scream was really loud this time then died down… leaving a high-pitched squeal… a babies cry

I looked to Jack and smiled… then I was suddenly pulled down roughly to the deck. I struggled trying to get back up but was forcefully pinned to the wooden deck by two of the other crew… Jack was in the same position as me.

**.x. Rk's PoV .x**.

"It's… erm… well…ehm…"

Jess tilted her head as she looked down at the squealing… thing

"I have establised the situation...I can proudly say... that this... is 100... a... BABY!"

"Move!"

I shoved her out of the way and looked at the… thing

"It's OBVIOUSLY a… er… well… Oh! It's…"

"Mine!"

We turned to look at the figure in the doorway, he was a young tall man with light hair, pulled back into a band at the nape of his neck. There were 5 men behind him.

"I'm now in charge of this ship, you will do as I say. Now make sure you behave yourselves and I'll try to make sure my men do too."

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**TAR DAR!**

**NEED ANY IDEAS YOU LOVELY… IMAGINATIVE PEOPLE HAVE!**

**Ahem… .x.Puts on game show presenter voice.x.**

**Who are those people!**

**What will happen to our hero's!**

**What sex exactly is the baby!**

**Tune id next time for… Drinks… All round!**

**Lol… REVIEW!**


	23. Angry Rach, Wrong People and MUMMY!

Omg…. Im baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!! Lol. Its so weird starting this story where I left it, I'm so sorry to everyone who reads this story and has read right from the beginning that I just stopped! Rough times cause shitty people lol so I'm back and I intend to stay a good long while!!

OMG!! The second movie!! AMAZING plus… ELIZABETH IS A SLAG!!! I told you all!!! No one would believe me!! .x.Folds arms.x. I told you so!

**Disclaimer; see that's the secret to where I have been I've been in deals with Disney to own PotC… but they wouldn't accept my generous offer of Jess…. So I still own nothing accept the plot! **

**P.s; I'm still going by the first movie, if things don't fit its because I'm still writing this as though the second film has not been released, I know pain in the arse but other wise things won't fit!!**

Chapter 23 

**Angry Rach, Wrong People and Mummy!**

**.x. Rk's PoV .x.**

"So what have we here?"

The unknown man walked in to the room, his men behind him dragging Jack and Will. Rach was still lying on the bed and Jess was cradling the screaming baby.

"What do you want?!"

The man looked to Rach and smirked

"I'm taking over this ship"

"Pfft! Get real! Do you have any idea how unoriginal that is?"

"Rach!"

Rach sat up

"No! I'm not going to let some ponce waltz on here and think he can take over!"

She pointed to him

"You have got another thing coming!!"

The man looked slightly taken back at being shouted at by a bleeding woman, but just smirked again.

Jack had been gagged so he just started to give muffled noises.

"Who are you?!"

He turned to face Will

"You do not need to know who I am just that I am taking over this ship, now… which one of you is Jack Sparrow?"

He looked round and everyone kept quiet, Jack started to make muffled noises but was ignored by the stranger

"For Gods sake! I wish pirates weren't so stupid and then they could get a new line to say!"

The man walked up to Rach and leaned close to her

"You have too much mouth for your own good… I think I know who you're with on this ship"

He pulled out his sword and placed it by Rach's throat

"NO!!"

Will started to try to fight his way out of the men holding him.

The man smirked and turned to Will

"You must be Jack Sparrow then"

I frowned

"You haven't worked that out pretty well have you?"

He moved towards me and Jess and we backed away slowly, the baby started to squeal again. This must have cause his attention as he was now looked and the bundle in Jess' arms

"Well… looks like Sparrow has been busy"

He looked from Will to Rach

"Well you two are who I want, now… what do I do with the rest of you?"

Jess raised her hand

"You could let us go?"

I elbowed her

"Shut up!"

"No… that seems like a fine plan"

Jess smirked at me

"See!"

More men came into the room and started to tie our hands and pull us out of the cabin and up on deck, I looked and saw Rach being dragged to her feet, in obvious pain being moved so close after having her baby. As we got on deck I noticed that there was none of Jacks crew anywhere.

"Yes… we got rid of them… luckily there's still a rowboat for you"

The man stood beside me and I watched as a rowboat was lowered into the sea, the men started to send Jack and Jess down to the boat, followed by me, I sat on one of the wooden planks and looked up, I could see Rach and Will looking down at us.

"Cap'in wha' 'bout te babe?"

He took the baby off the crewmember

"Please, don't hurt my baby! Please!"

"You think I would harm a baby?"

He looked down at the tiny bundle

"I suggest one of you come here and get it, or I could just always let it fall to you"

Jess jumped up and made her way back up the ladder to take the baby bundle off the man, slowly coming back down to sit beside me

"Let me take my baby please! It needs me!"

"I only came for Jack Sparrow and his little whore… I'm afraid a baby wasn't on my list"

The ropes holding onto the rowboat were loosed and we started to drift further away from the Pearl, the man leaned over

"Do tell whoever finds you floating around that Jack Sparrow has finally been defeated, finishing the job that my brother could never do! Barbossa's younger brother… Bob!"

Jess giggled

"Your mother called you what?!"

The man shook his fist

"You leave mummy out of this!!"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Short I know, but I need to get back into the swing of things!**

**More will come v. soon plus the humour will be bouncing back!!**

**Review… love you all!!**

**xx**


	24. IT!, Back Hair and Jessica!

**Thanks to all my reviewers:P love u all! **

**Disclaimer; Yes i own them all that is why i am still in school poor and don't know what happens in the 3rd film! Please gimme a break!**

**Chapter 24!**

**IT!, Back Hair and Jessica!**

**Rk's PoV**

"Will you shut that thing up!"

"I cant do anything! Its hungry!"

"I'll catch a fish!"

Jess tutted at Jack

"No silly, it needs milk!"

She passed the screaming bundle to me, i raised an eyebrow

"Hold up, i ain't exactly lactating right now"

I backed away from the screaming thing

"If Nozzers was here none of this would have happened"

I smirked

"Why Jess?"

"'cause he is the type of man that can take charge of a ship! And he is a great Captain!"

Jess looked to Jack

"Better than you"

Jacks face contorted and he pointed madly at her

"Ye take that back now!"

She frowned and adjusted the baby

"No! He would have fought for us and saved me from this stupid dingi! And don't you DARE POINT AT A LADY!!"

She swatted his hand away and leaned on the side of the boat

"He'll come for me"

"Whatever just take this..."

I handed the baby back to her, she took it and frowned

"What shall we name it?"

"Er, Jess you can't do that, its Rach's and Will's!"

She clutched the baby possessively

"But I'm looking after it! It might be like a duck! You know how the first thing they see they think its their mom!"

I shook my head and Jess smiled madly

"I now by the powers invested in me by the magical..."

She looked around

"...OAR! Do hear by name you... IT!!"

**Rach's PoV**

"You see i need to finish what my brother couldn't do so that mummy will love me!"

"Don't be ridiculous! Your mother loves you!"

Bob shook his head. We were sitting on the Black Pearl as he didn't want to go back onto his ship with his crew as they had started to laugh when he mentioned mummy... so they had sailed off leaving him here with us... all alone.

"She never loved me! Her was her favorite! Thats why he got the good name!"

"Thats not your fault!"

I knew he wasn't going to kill us because Will could take him easy and he had no one to back him up, but for some reason Will just let me sit and talk to him.

Bob flung out his arms

"I KNOW!"

He wiped his face and gained his composure

"But she Will love me now! Now i kill Jack Sparrow and his little whore!"

He laughed hysterically, I'd had enough and stood up

"No you are not!"

"I AM-"

"SHUSH! You are not killing me because i am a mother! How would you like it if your mother was killed by a psycho? HM?!"

I pointed my finger in his face

"AND! You are not killing him because if you go near him or me he will rip your head off!! Plus he isn't even Captain Jack Sparrow!!"

He looked to Will

"So! Even if you did kill us your mother still wouldn't like it because you would have tried to kill the wrong people! AND! To be fair i think your mother needs a good kick up the arse!!"

**Rk's PoV**

"Well do what you did on the island! I'll find the turtles and Rk, you get the hair off Jacks back!"

I raised an eyebrow

"Jess, that didn't happen"

"Yes it did!"

Jess leaned over still with Rach's baby and tugged up the back of Jack's shirt

"OH MY GOD!"

"Jess! Loose his shirt!"

I pulled Jacks shirt back down and Jess moved back shaking her head.

"I can't believe it! You used all the hair last time so now you have none left!"

Jack smirked and shrugged, Jess sighed

"Nozzers would have let me use his back hair..."

"Will you shut up about him! He ain't going to save you! He doesn't love you he was concussed! He's not going to appear out the fog and be a hero! We are going to die floating here, with a baby that hasn't even seen his mother! And you had-"

I was stopped by Jack tugged on my elbow, i looked down and he nodded towards Jess, she was sitting rocking the baby looking as though she was about to cry.

"Jess I-"

"Now, your right, i know he's not coming to save me it just makes me feel better thinking he will, but I'm silly, I'm always being silly"

Jack tilted his head and waved his finger

"Well lass, bein' silly can sometimes be the smart thing to do when the situation calls for a silly solution, so the smart thing to do is to sometimes be silly... for ones own good"

I shook my head

**Rachs PoV**

"Please don't leave! I don't like being on my own!"

"They, captain Bob are not leaving, you are. Men! Put him on my ship and take him to Port Royale... I will take the Pearl and go find my dear sweet Jessica!"

**Rk's PoV**

"He might come Jess! Be happy!"

She shook her head

"No! He doesn't love me!!"

"No he does! Remember! Gillette said so! He came looking for you!"

"Yea! But that was months ago! He has probably got bored and found someone else!"

I sighed, i didn't like depressed Jess, i looked around and found Jack falling to sleep, i thumped him in the arm

"How can you be so calm!"

He smirked

"Because lass i know that we am riding the current and the current is good else we would be stuck floating in one place eh?"

I frowned open mouthed

"Also what you fail to take into account it..."

he smiled

"...I'm captain Jack Sparrow! Women love me, men love to hate me, now what good would i be dead?"

"I still don't follow"

"People need me alive lass, thats why i always get rescued!"

"And that helps us now how?"

He gave me a gold smile and pointed behind me, i turned and saw the black pearl sailing towards us, i turned to see Jack leaning back with his eyes closed

"Savvy?"

I started to wave madly at the Pearl

"Jess! Look! We're saved!"

"Yea... great"

"Cheer up!"

"No! Its not fair! Stupid man! Why can't he find me! You know what? I don't even love him anymore! I wouldn't love him if he begged me! I wouldn't even care if he was here now! I'd just turn around and go... no-"

"MY DEAR SWEET JESSICA!!"

"NOZZERS!! I LOVE YOU!!"

**Tar Dar!! I luv Jess in this one... aw bless! REVIEW!! XX**


	25. HE CAME!, Moody Jack and Spines!

** dead happy i was having a nosey at other PotC stories and i saw that there was like 5 more with near the same reviews as mine... brings a tear to my eye!**

**I'd like to thank my agent... my amazing randomness... Meg... the wireless for working up until 9pm every night (need to sort that out)... the plot... and... MY REVIEWERS!! I LOVE YOU ALL KEEP IT UP!!**

**P.s Any of you have stories that i'd like to read tell me! EXCEPT FOR MEG WHO NEEDS TO UPDATE HERS!!**

**Disclaimer; i don't even care that i don't own them! (Slightly) 'Cause i have my reviewers... and my plot! AND SOON TWO TICKETS TO CANADA TO MEG!!**

**Chapter 25**

**HE CAME!, Moody Jack and Spines!**

**Rk's PoV**

"YOU CAME! YOU CAME!!"

Jess shook me

"HE CAME RK!!"

Jess loosed me and giggled madly, she stopped suddenly

"OH! No, i will not run to him... i am a lady..."

She cleared her throat and smoothed her clothes. I smiled and shook my head.

"Rk! Is my baby ok?!"

I looked up and saw Rach and Will leaning over the rail of the Black Pearl, we were slowly climbing up the ropes to get onto the ship

"Jess has it"

"JESS! BE CAREFUL WITH MY BABY!"

"I'M NOT GOING TO DROP IT!... WHOA! NEARLY DROPPED IT THEN!"

I climbed up and turned to help Jess up, still carrying the baby in one arm

"Thank you"

Rach and Will rushed to take the baby, but Jess walked the other way past Norrington, who looked at her smiling

"Jessica!"

She nodded at him and carried on walking past

"Nozzers"

Rach and Will were following behind

"Jess! Stop!"

"IT'S MINE!!"

I watched as they all went below deck, i turned and saw Jack slowly climbing up the ropes, Norrington held his hand out to help him

"I hope there's no hard feelings Sparrow"

Jack looked up and frowned at Norrington

"Get off my ship!"

Nozzers looked taken aback

"But i rescued you!"

"Get off my ship!"

i shook my head... this wasn't going to be fun

**Will's PoV**

"He's beautiful"

Rach smiled and tilted her head to look down at our son. She had taken him off Jess a while ago and we were now lying on my bed in my cabin looking down at our child.

"What are we going to call him?"

I smiled

"William"

"No, he is not going to be called William"

"But its tradition!"

"Not anymore"

She stroked his tiny cheek

"Look how cute and peaceful he looks when he sleeps"

I smiled and pulled Rach close

"Little William"

"No, Will"

"Ok... little Will then"

"No... Not William or Will or Bill!"

"Fine... what do you suggest?"

She sighed slightly

"I think we should call him James"

I frowned

"James? As in James Norrington?"

"He saved us and our son"

"We didn't need saving! Bob wasn't exactly efficient without his crew"

"But he did save our son and our friends"

"He has been searching the the sea for Jess for months, he was just lucky enough to find us when they were in a bit of trouble, no need to name our son after him!"

Rach raised her hands in defense

"Fine, but he is not going to be called William... are we moving yet?"

I shook my head

"Jack must be still on his stand"

**Rk's PoV**

I leaned over the rail

"JACK GET BACK ON THIS SHIP NOW!"

He was lying in the row boat which was now tied to the ship with his hat over his face. He had been on this feeble stand for a while now and was refusing to move until Nozzers got off his ship

"Not until he gets off my ship!"

"Sparrow stop being so petty"

"No! Get off my ship!"

"Sparrow, i don't want to captain your ship i just want you to sail to port royal so i can get back to my duties!"

"Good... not like you could manage to captain this ship anyway"

"Sparrow stop being childish"

"Make me"

I frowned

"JACK! This isn't funny... just get on the ship, take Nozzers to Port Royale and maybe if we're lucky we can ditch Jess there too!"

He didn't move

"I AM YOUR SORT OF WIFE NOW DO AS I SAY! GET ON THIS SHIP!"

I stamped my foot to make a point but he still didn't move

"JACK I AM NOT DOING THIS! GET UP HERE NOW!! YOU HAVE GOT TO THE COUNT OF 3!! 1...2...2 AND A HALF... . ... .. ...3!!... I SAID 3!! FINE!! TAKE YOUR STUPID CHEAP RING!!"

I threw it at him and heard a 'dink' noise as it bounced off his head

"COME ON THEN CAPTAIN NORRINGTON SET SAIL!!"

He shook his head

"But i don't want to captain this ship i want to talk to Jessica-"

I grabbed him and shoved him to the helm

"NOW!"

He took hold of the sail and opened his mouth clueless

"Ok... we are south so port royale is... erm... west? So i need to ...ehm... compass..."

He held it up

"Yes... that way?"

Norrington started to turn the helm when Jack appeared on deck

"Port Royale is east you smelly git"

Jack walked up to the helm, slyly pushing Nozzers out the way. He started to turn the ship slowly. I frowned

"Thats not east"

"I know"

"But port royale is east"

"I know"

"So why aren't you heading east?"

"I'm not heading to port royale"

"Well were are we going then smart arse?"

"To get my crew that Bob left floating around"

I nodded and left Jack to take charge. Nozzers walked over and stood next to me

"Go find Jess"

"I save you from floating endlessly in the sea and dying from starvation and this is the thanks i get?!"

I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged

"I don't know where Jessica is"

I smiled

"Where's Bob going then?"

"He's been held on my ship to be taken to port royale"

"But port royale ain't exactly as primp and proper as it used to be"

His mouth twitched

"Not exactly, but it is still considerably better than other ports so he will have a fair trial"

"So you stayed on your own on this ship with Will and Rach?"

"No, Gillette is here too and a few other..."

He stopped and started staring at Jess who had just come above deck.

"Jessica!"

She jumped and waved her hands

"Oh! Er! One minute!"

She ran back down below, Norrington sighed and leaned on the rail

"It was too good to be true"

I raised and eyebrow and shook my head

"Dearest, sweet Jessica... She no longer loves me with the same passionate beating heart that i hold for her... I took too long to find her... she has moved on..."

He threw an arm over his face

"I FAILED HER!!"

**Rach's PoV**

"Jess no!"

"BUT I NEED IT!"

Will frowned

"It's a he!"

"WHATEVER! GIVE IT!"

I guided Jess to the door as Will held our son out of Jess' way, Jess held onto the door frame

"But! I NEED IT! Nozzers gets jealous when i have the baby!"

I frowned in pain

"Jess!"

Will put his arm around me and held me up

"Jess, Rach is in no fit state to argue with you!"

"Great so give me the baby"

"Jess out!!"

"But! Its my future happiness!"

"OUT!"

"But!"

"NOW!"

Jess stalked out and slammed the door, i looked up at Will

"Someones found a spine"

He smiled and helped me into bed and placed our baby next to me

"We need to name him"

"You need to get some sleep first"

He kissed me, then our sons forehead

"I love you both"

He walked out and closed the door

"MOVE JESS! YOUR NOT going IN THERE!"

"ARGH!! YOUR SO SELFISH!!"

I smiled to myself and cupped my sons head in one hand. He was sleeping, his tiny fingers moving, i stroked his tiny tuft of dark hair

"Beautiful little boy"

There was a knock at the door

"Jess, your not having him"

The door opened and someone walked in

"I'm not Jess... but she is still stalking outside if you want me to let her in"

I looked up at the person and gasped slightly as they walked in shutting the door

"Hello Gillette"

**ooooooooo lol. Whats going to happen there then? Ok, i need you to review and tell me; a) What the little boy should be named **

** b) If Jess should get with Nozzers (i think that might be yes lol)**

**And c) What should happen to Gillette**

**Cheers for all your support!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	26. Gillette, Nozzers and King Soloman!

**I was banned from using the computer while my exams were on :( but their over now! My mom hid all the wires for my laptop... but then i found out she didn't want me to go on my computer 'cause she'd put a virus on it!**

**Anyway, your reviews made me smile, your all insane, and i love you for it. **

**...Rk dear, you scare me sometimes... and you know you love being Jacks (sort of) wife :p **

**Disclaimer; Zilch ... sucks. I only own the plot. And pink shoes...**

**Chapter 26**

**Gillette, Nozzers and King Soloman**

**Rach's PoV**

"Gillette?"

He smiled and walked further into the room

"Hello, glad to see your safe"

He looked at the tiny baby by my side

"I see everything went OK?"

I nodded

"Yep, Will and I have a son"

"How do you feel?"

"Weird"

"Can I?"

He gestured towards the baby

"Ok"

I sat up and carefully handed my baby over to Gillette. I felt the bed sink slightly as he sat on the side of the bed. He looked down and smiled slightly.

"He's had a busy day"

I smiled

"We all have... I don't know how he sleeps through all of this"

"Well at least he's safe"

He smiled and passed him back to me and stood up slowly

"Well, I'm glad your safe and you have a good strong son, I'm afraid i can't stay"

"Er... Where can you go? Your on a ship"

He smiled

"I have duties"

He opened the door

"Good day"

"Bye Gillette"

**Will's PoV**

"Call him Spartacus Martacus"

"No Jess"

"Or Mattacus Attacus"

"No!"

"Call him Jack!"

Jack sat down at the table on deck where Jess and Rk were sitting with me

"NO!"

"Whats wrong with Jack eh?!"

Rk scoffed

"Because your called it"

Jack frowned

"Yer still mad 'cause yer lost yer ring?"

"I am not bothered about that piece of tin"

"IT WASN'T TIN!"

He leaned back and folded his arms, smirking

"I stole that from a King"

Rk raised an eyebrow

"Don't lie"

"I AINT!"

Rk leaned on her hand

"Ok then, which King?"

"King Soloman"

"From?"

"Nububu"

"Your insane"

"I ain't lying!... anyway yer lost a Kings ring... but..."

Jack lifted his hand up and held a gold ring up to Rk

"...I stole his other one..."

Rk folded her arms and turned her head away

"I don't want to be your wife"

"Yer know yer can't resist me... I'm Captain Jack Sparrow"

She smiled and took it

"I'm only taking it 'cause its shiney... I'm still not your wife"

"Well yer ain't exactly livin' up to wife duties..."

He nudged her and winked at me

"...Yer know what i mean eh?!"

Rk shoved him

"SHUT UP!"

Jess giggled

"OOOOOOO!!... Rk and Jack sitting in a tree, doing something they shouldn't be, begins with 's' and ends in 'x', oh my god their having..."

She tilted her head

"I can't remember what it spells..."

Her face screwed up as she strained to work out what she was trying to spell

"Jessica?"

She froze and Norrington walked up behind her

"Yes Nozzers?"

"Can I have a word?"

Jess folded her arms

"I don't know can you talk?"

He messed with his hands, i saw Rk try to hide giggles

"Yes of course i can... but may I talk to you please?"

"I don't know... may you?"

"Please may I Jessica?"

"I don't know...may-"

"Just get up and talk to him please!"

She stood up and followed Norrington away, Rk turned to me

"I hope we can ditch her when we get rid of Nozzers"

I frowned

"She's your friend, you shouldn't be so nasty"

"I'll go and pick her back up... in a few years!"

I smiled and Gillette walked over and sat in Jess' empty seat

"Turner"

I nodded.

"Gillette"

"I don't understand why you despise me so"

"I don't"

"Good as I've just visited your son... I hope you don't mind"

I clenched my jaw... I hate him so much.

"Not at all"

"Congratulations... you have a fine son, will grow up strong I'm sure"

We sat there in silence for a few minutes as Jack picked his teeth. Then Rk cleared her throat

"Oh... this is awkward"

Gillette nodded and stood up

"I'll take my leave then"

He walked off as Jess was coming back across the deck, she stopped and watched Gillette walk away then sat down shaking her head

"Whoa..."

"What?"

"...He's short ain't he?"

I smiled, Jess was so random.

**Short I know, I'll get back into the swing soon. Oh, remember King Soloman from Nububu as he'll be back soon! **

**Review!! Get me happy so I can write beautiful random chapters!!**

**xxxxxxxxxxx**


	27. Little JJ, Sulks and Nububu?

**IM BACK!!!! **Lol…. IM SORRY!!!!! *dodges flying fruit* I really am!! But… I'm here with a new chapter… so I know I'm forgiven ;P

**Thanks for your patience guys… its appriciated**

**Disclaimer;** If I owed ANYTHING do you really think I'd be freezing my arse off in England??

**CHAPTER 27**

**Little JJ, Sulks and Nububu?**

**RACH'S POV**

I squinted at the stream of light through the window, rolling over to hug Will.

"Morning"

"Mmmm…. Go back to sleep"

I sat up, stretching

"Its such a nice day!"

"Mmmm…"

I smiled as Will buried his face further into the pillow. I got up stretching my legs

"Morning my little angel-"

I sighed as I looked down at the empty cot, Will had spent the last few weeks making with unwanted help from Jack.

"Not again… I'd wish they'd leave him to sleep!"

"Mmmm…"

I got up wrapping Wills shirt around me and opened the door

"Don't worry about your son being kidnapped… I'll find him, you just sleep"

The silence told me he'd already done it… lazy man! I wondered up onto the deck, the blinding sun hurting my eyes.

"He's going to be a pirate!"

"Aw!!! Look at little James Junior!"

I raised an eyebrow at the scene in front of me, Jess was holding a gurgling baby on her hip with Rk and Jack leaning over

"Aw, look at the little mites feet…"

"DON'T TOUCH HIS FEET WITH YOUR DIRTY HANDS!"

The little boy in Jess' arms giggled at Jacks hand being smacked away, Jess smiled

"Yes… Good boy, you don't like dirty Jack do you?"

I shook my head and walked across the deck holding my arms out for Jess to pass me my son back, which she did hesitantly

"Jess… he's not James Junior… you know his name"

She scoffed

"His name is silly"

"Well he's my son… Will and I chose it together"

"Will only agreed to make you happy"

"Whatever he agreed, that's all that matters isn't it?"

I held the baby up and he giggled madly

"My little Jack James Bill Turner"

Jess shook her head

"Poor boy won't be able to spell his name, he'll be bullied because he can't remember his full name"

Rk raised an eyebrow

"Never hurt you in school, plus he can be called JJ for short"

Jess ignored the comment and sat down sulkily, I frowned and walked to her

"You ok Jess?"

She shrugged and I sat next to her on a chair, placing little J on my lap. I rubbed Jess' shoulder

"He had to go Jess, its his job"

She nodded slowly. It had been 6 months since Nozzers had taken us to Port Royale, having to take himself and his crew back with Bob as their captive, we weren't able to stay as Jack would have had to be arrested under Port Royales Laws on pirates. Norrington asked Jess to stay with him but she wanted to stay with us, but I could tell she was really regretting it.

"He'll be back soon"

I smiled slightly, Norrington promised Jess he'd come and find her as soon as he'd finished any duties he'd been assigned. So every few weeks whenever we docked Jess would send him a letter telling him where we were and where we were heading. Which only she seemed to know… I frowned

"Jack? Where exactly are we going?"

He shrugged

"I don't know lass"

I frowned

"Then why would you just be randomly…"

I looked back to him and he started to walk up to the helm, I got up following him

"Jack… who are you looking for?"

"No one lass!"

"You are… I've been meaning to ask you for a while but I trusted that would wont be getting into any trouble seeing as you have such a small defenceless crew member"

He looked down at little Jack

"Where are you going Jack?"

"No where Lass"

"Who are you trying to find Jack?"

"No one Lass"

"What are you trying to find Jack?"

"Nothing Lass"

"Your lying"

I frowned at him and he looked down to the little boy, who was also frowning at him

"Lass! Yer got the little Un frowning at me!"

"Well he doesn't like his mom being lied to"

Jack looked away

"Look at him Jack…"

"No"

"Look at the disappointment on his little face"

Jack looked out of the corner of his eye then threw his hands above his head defeated

"Fine!"

I smiled and little Jack dropped his frown

"I'm not looking for anyone"

"Then why are we moving so frequently…Who are you running from Jack?"

"You know I liked it better when women were mutes!"

I raised an eyebrow

"Yer know when Rk tossed that ring and I gave her another one?"

"The one you told her was a Kings?"

"It was!"

I raised an eyebrow

"What about it?"

"Well I stole it"

I shook my head

"And? You steal everything"

He shifted slightly

"He wants it back doesn't he?"

Jack walked off down the stairs, me following close behind

"Jack! How much is it worth?"

"Well… its not the matter of expense you see…"

"WHAT IS IT WORTH?"

"His kingdom"

"Give it back"

"I can't"

"Now! Get the ring off Rk"

"The lass won't give it up!"

"Get it!"

"She'll kill me!!"

"That's your fault… your giving it back! Take us to Nububu now!"

He stamped his foot like a sulking child and walked back to the helm. I walked the other way across the deck, Rk and Jess frowning

"And what was that all about?"

"We're going to Nububu"

Rk frowned…

"Why-"

…Then it sunk it…

"ITS MINE!!"

**OKKKK short, not much plot, but I have to get back into it….**

**AND im sorry ive separated Jess and Nozzers but itll work out, don't worry!!!**

**P.s…. say Nububu a few times… it still tickles me lol.**

**Review!! xx**


End file.
